A True Halloween Horror: My Shameful Tale

Friday, October 30, 2009

I love Halloween. A lot. I went to two, count 'em two, universities known for their incredible Halloween celebrations. Court Street, the main drag at OU, packs so full of people over Halloween weekends that it's literally almost impossible to walk down the street. People shotgun beers & flash their goodies in the middle of the road. (Hey, I'm not sayin' it's classy, I'm just sayin' it's crazy.) I spent three fantastic Halloweens there, excluding the half hour I spent crying & lost outside an abandoned Burger King standing next to an Amish couple. And also excluding the huge verbal blowout I engaged in with a few sorority "sisters." Anyway, bygones. Back to Halloween.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN. I love coming up with costumes that make people laugh, costumes you won't see on every other person, costumes that are not "a slutty _____." I love pretending to be something else, pretending to be something crazy. At home, I've been known to force friends into pumpkin-carving & passing out candy to neighborhood kids. I am the biggest haunted house aficionado you'll ever met, & also one of the biggest wusses. Everything about Halloween exhilarates me.

DC does not love Halloween. My friends here are, to put it mildly, just not that into All Hallows Eve. They'll dress up, sure - sort of. They'll tack on a cape or a wig at the last minute, but nothing that requires much creativity. And there are no haunted houses in the city, just out in the 'burbs, which I cannot get to because I lack a vehicle. And I don't have a front porch for pumpkins while I reside in an apartment complex. Needless to say, Halloween in the District has been incredibly disheartening for two years in a row, & shaping up for a third.

But this year, it's myself I'm disappointed in. I was too busy having the dreaded swine to come up with a good costume, & now I'm 24 hours before the big day with not an idea to be found. Everything is lame. I am lame.

Let's recap my past brilliance:
  • In 2003, I was Quailman. I saw two others, but I was the only Quail(wo)man. And my head belt was real, not cardboard.
  • In 2004, we were crayons - pink & purple. My entire sorority house dressed as "Moulin Rouge" charlatans, & there we were in the house photo, dressed like giant 12-year-olds.
  • In 2005, we were pirates. Not that creative on the surface, I know, but we did it damn well - & before "Pirates of the Caribbean" was a thing. Also, my hair was crimped so... score. Oh yeah, & my friend Annie took a pair of scissors to my crotch so that I could use the restroom while wearing a bodysuit.
  • In 2006, I was the Keebler Elf. I was bald, so my costume revolved around my desire to wear a wig - & wig-wear, I did. I also passed out cookies from a cauldron. And later passed out on a friend's couch.
  • In 2007, my first year in DC, I was so bummed about all the Halloween-hating that I didn't try very hard. I sewed some sponges to my clothes & told people I was "self-absorbed," complete with sponge hair accessory. I met a kid dressed up at "road head," & together we affirmed that we were, indeed, wittier than everyone else.
  • In 2008, I went the witty route again. With a pair of galoshes & some laminated, laudatory fish pinned on a blue dress, I was "fishing for compliments." Beat THAT, wordsmiths.
This year, I've got nothing. I am costumeless. I am pumpkinless. I haven't eaten a single candy corn. I've not visited a single haunted house or bobbed for a single apple (OK, I never did that). The Midwest would be so disappointed in me.

In short... I have failed myself.
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I'm a Gracious Mixmaster

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Well, I made the best playlist ever. Try not to be jealous. In fact, so that you don't have to be jealous, I'm going to be kind enough to share it with you. I'm obsessing.

No, this has nothing to do with anything. Just enjoy it.
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Things I Like More Than Being Sick

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Last week I had the flu, presumably swine. This week, I have been diagnosed with acute bronchitis, a resulting after-effect of my fluishness. I've gone into the office a few times since last Tuesday, each an aborted attempt to complete a full work day, & while I've been relatively effective in working from home, I've also been driven to compile the following list of "A Billion(ish) Things I Like More Than Being Sick."
  1. Westlife's "Home"
  2. Watching episodes of "Criminal Minds" on SurfTheChannel.com
  3. My mom's dog
  4. Falling asleep to the sound of the rain
  5. Obama signing the hate crimes bill into law today!
  6. Yuengling
  7. The Cleveland Cavaliers, even when they lose
  8. Puffs infused with Vicks
  9. The Twitter 2 app for iPhone
  10. Having DVR
  11. My crazy fake hipster glasses
  12. Anticipating the next "Twilight" movie
  13. Men in suits
  14. Nivea Essential Lip Care
  15. Breakfast for dinner at Open City
  16. Thanksgiving with my family
  17. Hand-me-down pajama pants
  18. Painting pottery at All Fired Up
  19. Punny Halloween costumes
  20. Phone calls with family members that lead to fun gossip about other family members
  21. Champagne
  22. The Sookie Stackhouse novels
  23. Netflix
  24. My Ann Taylor Loft black boots
  25. Ohio
  26. Reading my old writing
  27. Grey t-shirts
  28. Bravo's amazing marketing acumen
  29. Salami salad from Sweetgreen
  30. Taking the bus to work
  31. Autumn leaves
  32. Grande skim pumpkin chai lattes from Starbucks
  33. PostSecret
  34. Epic emails between long-distance friends
  35. The beautiful Matthew Gray Gubler
  36. Vending machine junk food
  37. The first snow of the year
  38. Waterbeds
  39. Sleeping with two comforters
  40. Emails from my former foreign exchange students
  41. All Christian Bale movies
  42. Staying in hotels
  43. Creating ringtones
  44. Reading old letters from my ex-boyfriend
  45. Creamy soup, especially with corn &/or potatoes
  46. Target flats
  47. "(500) Days of Summer"
  48. Outlet malls
  49. Reading friends' blogs
  50. The comfort of my LA class
  51. My uncles' hunting cabin in Pennsylvania
  52. Clean towels
  53. My absurd purple GAP slippers
  54. Glass elevators
  55. The smell of my new shampoo, Herbal Essence Tousle Me Softly
  56. Kraft mac & cheese in cartoon shapes
  57. Browsing jewelry on Etsy
  58. Comfort food from Rockne's
  59. Proofreading
  60. Brunch with friend
  61. State fairs & carnivals
  62. PG Tips hot tea with honey
  63. My living room couch
  64. Road trips
  65. Being in weddings
  66. Skinny dark jeans
  67. Writing Yelp reviews
  68. Clear, starry nights
  69. Zooey Deschanel
  70. The suburbs
  71. Going to the movies alone
  72. Cheap draft beer, especially served in the Midwest
  73. Scarves
  74. Adding to my bookshelf
  75. Gchatting
  76. House parties
  77. Velvet Elvis cupcakes from Hello, Cupcake
  78. My bangs
  79. Argyle
  80. Making other people laugh
  81. Spicy fried rice from Paragon Thai
  82. Walking home from work on nice days
  83. Being asked for directions in the District
  84. Leather interiors
  85. Daffodils
  86. Statement necklaces
  87. Sleeping in
  88. Funny things my grandmother says
  89. The Disney Channel
  90. Approval from the bosses
Come to think of it, I guess an appropriate thing to put on a list of things I like more than being sick would be "everything." But no worries, this should be my last sick post. I'm on antibiotics & am nearly done being a weakling. I think.
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Thanks, Westlife!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Embarrassing boy-band pop confession: When I get sappy/sad/angry/overwhelmed, I listen to this song on repeat:

"I'm lucky, I know, but I want to go home..."

Needless to say, it's getting a lot of play lately. Blurgh. In the words of Liz Lemmon, "I want to go to there." Thanksgiving, are you here yet?! Hurry up, pls.
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Delivery Me From Evil

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I'm hungry. It's raining. I'm residually ill. These feel like three superb reasons to order dinner in rather than going out to get it - or eating Kraft for the third day in a row.

I ring DC Snacks, which delivers food, beverages, hookah & more to those in the District with late-night cravings. "Do you deliver to Woodley Park?" I inquire. The employee answers, quite clearly, "Yep, we do." Great! I quickly place my order & excitedly text a friend, "I just ordered dinner from TGIFridays bc DCsnacks delivers from there. Amazing. The Midwest at my door!"

An hour later, I get a call from my "driver" asking me where I live. I explain. He asks, "Where is that in relation to M Street? That's where I am." I tell him I have no idea, that I've never driven a car in the District. Don't deliveryfolk have to take some sort of directional test? Look at some sort of map? Carry some sort of GPS? Or... not.

Two minutes later, he calls back. "I just want you to know that you're WAY out of my delivery area," he shouts. "I'm on a bike! We only deliver around GW!" Well... that's all jolly & good, sir, but why did your colleague tell me otherwise?! And why didn't anyone notice until you were on the bike? And why do you deliver on bikes? OK, that last one is beside the point.

The general manager I speak with next apologizes only for the driver biker's attitude ("He's not great with people") & almost not at all for the informational faux pas. "Your food is on its way," he assures me. Well, gee, those chicken strips & fries sure will be tasty once I reheat them after the two-hour wait! Here's $20! Why don't I just rip it in half?

Seriously. Am I under some sort of customer service curse? Is there a scarlet S painted on my forehead that stands for "SCREW ME OVER"?

Bonus: When the delivery biker finally arrives, the Jack Daniels sauce from my chicken strips has coated my entire order, including the free condom that DC Snacks puts in the bottom of every bag. Yum!

Double Bonus: After one bite, I toss my cold, limp French fries into the garbage disposal. It breaks, backing up & spewing French fry bits all over the sink. Maintenance will come fix it... on Monday.


PS: I found this. Afterward.
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Hey, Girl, You Like '90s Sitcoms?

Friday, October 23, 2009

I wasn't going to leave my house today, but being sick is boring. Like, really boring. I love me some "Wife Swap" & "Law & Order: SVU," but a girl can only take so many reruns, yanno? Also, I slept for about 16 hours yesterday, & then for a measly three last night, so my steady diet rotation of Dayquil & Nyquil is clearly effing with my internal clock a bit.

So I decide to head to work, albeit late. Circa 11 a.m., I grab a chai latte & hop a bus, & there begins the high/low point of my day. As soon as I sit down, a guy a few rows back moves to accompany me. The scene unfolds as follows:

"Hey, girl, you fine," he drawls. I ignore.
"What's your name?" he asks. I ignore.
"Where you headed?" he wonders. And I - you got it - continue to ignore.

Trying a new tactic, he goes for flirting gold: "You look like the daughter from 'Roseanne,' girl. Can I get your number?"

Oh, for crying out loud. This is the first time I've left my house in more than 48 hours. I'm wearing plastic glasses & no makeup & my hair is tangled like I just got out of a coma. I've got two teabags & an entire honey bear stashed in my purse, not to mention all those throat lozenges rattling around like I'm packing maracas. Yet some dude in a pinstripe suit still has the nerve to try to hit on me by telling me that I look like '90s high school dropout Darlene Conner?!

Mmm hmmm. This is my "Aw sheist, I DO look like Roseanne's daughter today" face. At least I left my flannel at home this fine Friday.

On a positive note, it appears that "I think I have swine flu" is a surefire way to lose the attentions of unwanted suitors.
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The Devil Wears a Hoyas Tee

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hate your job, Washingtonians? Never fear - Georgetown sophomore Charley Cooper has just the gig for you! Cooper, a mere 19 years old, is already so overwhelmed by the collegiate lifestyle - & so crunched for time as a result of holding down a (part-time!) campus job - that he's on the lookout for a personal assistant.

This is the perfect job for someone who's qualified to be a nanny but hates kids! Or someone who's prepared to be a housekeeper but hates cleaning! As his personal assistant, your tasks will include fetching Master Cooper's dry cleaning, driving him to & from the aforementioned part-time position, organizing his closet full of Vineyard Vines, scheduling his hair appointments (frosted tips, plz!) & laundering his dirties. According to his ad, you'll be eligible for bonuses at his discretion, which sounds a little sketchtastic to me, but at $10-$12 per hour, who am I to question your potential discretionary bonuses?!

Don't hate. I mean, college is really HARD, y'all! How can Master Charley be expected to keep up his 4.0 in political theory if he has to interrupt his homework to go check the spin cycle on his pleated khakis?!

But trust me, Georgetown-graduates-who-he-says-will-receive-preferential-consideration - after spending a gabillion bucks on your own education, "College Sophomore's Personal Assistant, Winter 2009" is going to look really great on your resume, so you can rest assured that taking this position is the proper next step toward bettering your future.
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Epic Epidemic: The Sick Bloggers Edition

Monday, October 19, 2009

Remember that last post, in which I declared that #pbandtunawastellar? Perhaps I spoke too soon.

Because I did not imbibe as much as many of my blogging buds did (I consumed enough, though - many thanks to the kind coworker who gave me a sober & free ride home!), I did not opt to declare that #pbandtunakilled me, as others did, the day after the party. While I did wake up a little headachey come Sunday, I was very much alive & well.

All of a sudden, though... I'm still alive, though considerably less well.

Maybe #pbandtunareallydidkillme! It seems some sort of mystery post-party virus has taken the blogosphere by storm - & I don't mean the kind that worms its way into your computers. I mean the kind that keeps you home from work with a sore throat, runny nose, fever & chills. I might even be talking swine flu, folks. Who can say for certain?!

The tweets tell all, & these comprise but a meager a sampling:

I should be clear: I only have a sore throat, & it only developed circa 5 p.m. Weak? Maybe, especially when Pithy Comments starts announcing that she's contracted the Black Lung. But I was already extra wary because my roommate's been laid up for something fluey for a few days now; I was already afraid of catching his bug, & the dinnertime sore throat set off my concern. Subsequently seeing that my weekend party crew is feeling similarly sick got me into a real hypochondriac-style tizzy, so being the vigilant future-Jewish-mother that I am (not soon, people, breathe easy!), I rushed to CVS, where I purchased both Nyquil & Dayquil, & I bummed a cough drop off my less-ill-than-before roommate. Tomorrow I shall stock up on the orange juice & Airbone I forgot in tonight's race toward wellness.

Get well soon, party people.
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Sunday, October 18, 2009

What do you get when you combine 25 bloggers+ from all across the country, jam them into a tiny, hotter-than-July-in-hell bar (Stetson's) on U Street, and allow them unfettered access to as much alcohol as their wallets can afford to provide them with? You get #pbandtuna, of course, also referred to within the blogosphere as "the wedding of the year" (a.k.a. an absurd birthday bash for the lovely ladies pictured on here). Bloggers flew into DC from cities to which I've never traveled - exotic places like Denver & Detroit!

I was nervous about attending because I'm fairly uncomfortable meeting new people. I'm not a particularly good bonder, if you will, so I often just sort of slink off into a corner to be slightly awkward, though thankfully, my possession of an iPhone means I can now sometimes play that off as looking pseudo-legitimately "busy."

To top it off, there's something a little admittedly nerve-wracking/weird about hanging out in real life with people I "met" on the Internets. And sure, my real-life friends think it's creepy/crazy - but I've actually found there's something surprisingly & soothingly uncreepy about befriending these bloggers. Their sites are so full of their lives - detailed, real, out front - that meeting them feels like an easy extension of the knowledge I already have of them. Don't get me wrong, I still feel a little out of place, but they're also a crazy-fun bunch.

[Commence the part of this blog post in which I name-drop heavily & you not only bear with me but also click on all the links.] Highlights of last night included meeting/liking long-read blogfolk like Cleveland's a Plum, recently voted the best blogger in Ohio's best city (not that I'm biased), & Ginger Mandy, who was not the only gingerkid at the soiree, plus spending some QT with the brides/birthday girls, Lilu & Maxie, & other faves like What a Grand World, Lemmonex, Alice, PQ, 12 Minds, Dysfunction Junction, Franco Beans, Dmbosstone, Deutlich, Cavy, Lusty Reader, & Pithy Comments. BLOGGER OVERLOAD!

I had a good enough time to overlook the fact that the servers at Stetson's sucked, especially the one who bullied me into changing my tab to her service. On the upside, the bartender wearing the shirt captured below told me she liked me when I asked her what their cheapest beer was but promised to tip her like I'd bought something better:

Thoughts on this, um, fashion statement? Is it a conversation piece or a "don't you dare get chatty with me" piece? I am both appalled & impressed.
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The Great DC Brunch Tour Begins!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

1 comment
Ladies & gents, please enjoy (drumroll, please!) my first guest blog post! This one is from one of my fave folks/friends/coworkers, Rachel. I hadn't announced the Great DC Bruch Tour on here yet because details were foggy until, like, yesterday, but you'll get the gist soon enough. Commence brunching, all ye hungry Washingtonians!

Last night, I dreamed about brunch. Don't get me wrong - I love food - but this is not a normal occurrence for me. But today was no normal day. Today was the day that Kate, me, & eight of our closest friends (well, a few we'd never met before, but that's OK) kicked off the 'official' Great DC Brunch Tour of 2009-2010. We decided to launch our nascent voyage through the wonderful world of DC's best meals of the day at the creme de la creme - literally. Our party of 10 came together at Creme Cafe & Lounge on U st in the up-and-coming, stupidly named 'midtown' neighborhood of the District.

I must admit - I was nervous when I walked in from the rain to a small, hot, packed room with NO available tables & very limited standing room. I was skeptical that we would ever get seated or served, & spent a few minutes standing out in the rain to avoid passing out from claustrophobia inside. But I was pleasantly surprised when, after only half an hour (not a bad wait for city brunch, let alone for a party of 10 at a restaurant that seats fewer than 100!), the hostess came out to escort the "Kate, party of 10" to our table right in the middle of the dining room. The music was a little loud, and the decor was, as the great Randy Jackson would say "just a'ight for me," but I was more focused on the food anyway. And the food, my friends, was delicious.

Our waitress bounced around the table taking drink orders - still not sure what her 'system' was - and couldn't get one of our friends an Arnold Palmer (it's just lemonade and iced tea...) but otherwise the service was great. I normally hate getting stuck on the end of the table with a large party, but the service at Creme was speedy & the company was good, so it worked out fine. The coffee came quickly & was delicious & abundant, always a good start at brunch! Our orders were speedily taken &, just a few minutes later, began pouring out.

The spread was beautiful - from Belgian waffles to benedicts to green eggs and ham. The bravest of the brunch bunch ordered (with much encouragement from me!) the house special: fried chicken and waffles. He didn't offer to let me try it - & I didn't know him well enough to ask! - but he said it was delicious & it sure looked it. My own bacon & spinach quiche was simple but very tasty, & the little greens & fruit salads on the side made a complete dish. Sure, five pieces of melon aren't exactly a stunning fruit salad, but still a nice touch. The Belgian waffles & french toast came topped with fresh berries & were light and delicious, the green eggs & ham...well, I avoided that one, but the bacon was cooked perfectly, & I hear from an expert that the potatoes were perfection. [Note from your Suburban Sweetheart: THE POTATO EXPERT IS ME, y'all!]

Creme gets brunch right - the menu is pretty simple, most dishes come with a little fruit to keep things fresh, and the water and coffee flowed fast enough to keep the hangovers in check. Kudos to the hostess for making an extra effort to take care of us and to the chef for a delicious beginning to the brunch tour!
Brunch by the numbers (all ratings out of 10)
  • Service: 8 - speedy, attentive, and very understanding of our oversized party
  • Food: 8 - good variety and a bit more creative than your standard DC brunch; everything lived up to expectations but nothing blew my mind
  • Decor: 5 - standard
  • Noise: 4 - my least favorite thing about Creme was the din in the dining room
  • Value: 7 - a few bucks above normal brunch, but worth it
  • Coffee: 8.5 - strong and smooth, and lots of it. Would get higher marks if it weren't so pricey...
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A Star-Studded Ga(y)la!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Free things are awesome, but sometimes paying pays off. As I wrote in a recent post, I shelled out some hard-earned cash to buy myself a half-price ticket to the Human Rights Campaign's National Equality Dinner, which was held last Saturday at the Washington Convention Center. Special guests included the cast of "Glee," Broadway star Gavin Creel, pop superstar Lady GaGa... & oh yeah, President Obama. It was, without a doubt, the swankiest event I've ever had the pleasure of attending.

For starters, the cast of everyone's favorite showchoir throwback,"Glee," did a little back & forth about equality. And then Lea Michele, who plays neurotic songstress Rachel Berry, sang a solo round of "On My Own" from Les Mis, which she starred in when she was little. It was great, though I couldn't help but remember Joey Potter's touching rendition of the same. Anyone? Anyone?

On my way to the bathroom, I literally almost bumped into Lea Michele, who was posing for a photo with a fan. I was without camera or iPhone, so I just mumbled a "You're great!" & shuffled away. In this Web 2.0 era, if there's no photo, it almost never happened, right? Blurgh.

President Obama was next. "It is a privilege to be here tonight to open for Lady GaGa," he began. The acoustics from our balcony were less than stellar, so I probably heard less of his speech than those who watched it via C-SPAN did, but being in the same room as the President of the United States was a thrilling, goosebumps-inducing experience that I'll not soon forget. As someone said later in the evening, "It's such a relief to be able to drive past the White House now & raise my hand instead of my finger."

And finally, Lady GaGa. Bish is an alien, a total alien, I tell you - but she sure is a talented alien. She speaks almost painfully slowly & meticulously, like she's never spoken a word she didn't really want to say. She was even dressed fairly normally, in a long, blond wig with dark, John Lennon-esque glasses. And whaddaya know? She sang her own version of Lennon's "Imagine," reinventing a few of the lyrics to be more civil rights-centric. My favorite line? "It isn't equal if it's sometimes," she improvised.

And damn it, my memory card filled up before the song ended...

Even after all the celeb sightings, my favorite part of the evening was when Rep. Patrick Kennedy, son of the late Sen. Ted Kennedy, gave a tribute to his father & then presented the first Edward M. Kennedy National Leadership Award to Dennis & Judy Shepard, parents of Matthew Shepard, who was murdered in Laramie, Wyoming, 11 years ago today, just for being gay. One of Sen. Kennedy's bills, the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act - more commonly known as the Matthew Shepard Act - will pass the Senate this week after endless advocacy on behalf of his parents, the LGBT community & allies like me. "This legislation is alive & well on Capitol Hill & it still has a Kennedy behind it," Patrick Kennedy told us on Saturday night. If you weren't crying, you weren't listening.

Verdict? The food sucked & the dress I wanted to wear didn't fit right, but overall, I was honored to spend my Saturday night with some of the most dedicated civil rights activists in the country - AND THE PRESIDENT!

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Live from Capitol Hill - a Challah Shortage & Sweet Video Skills

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Well, I'm probably the worst videographer ever. I spent five years getting a college degree in journalism & these are the dazzling videography skills I end up possessing?!

If the light were better & if I weren't so unforgivably zoomed in - the zoom-out function wasn't working, I swear to you I was trying! - you'd have seen that my friend who first mentions the alleged challah shortage is actually holding a half-eaten challah. Clearly we were not in desperate need of dough, so Congress can take its good old time on that one. Focus on health care, guys.

But just to prove that I'm not a total imbecile, I covertly filmed a second round of chatter that quickly devolved into a conversation about Muppets, followed by some incoherent ramblings in German accents. The air-kiss at the end is directed toward our good friend Rebecca, unable to join us on our rooftop dinner because she resides in that other city, NYC.

In closing, let it be known that I hate the Muppets. A lot. Except for those old men who sit in the balcony.
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The Big O Goes LGBT... With Me!

Monday, October 5, 2009

A few weeks ago, my friend Joanna invited me to attend the HRC Equality Dinner with her at a discounted rate. This half-price rate, though still pretty spendy, was too good to pass up, especially when I learned that musical guests would include Cyndi Lauper, Lady GaGa and the cast of "Glee," so I coughed up some cash for a good cause. (Is this the gayest straight blog you've ever read, or what?)

This afternoon, just as I was pondering what to wear to this swanky event, I got the best news ever:

Yeah, you read that right. The Prez himself will be the evening's keynote speaker, & I'll be there for it, up pseudo-close & not-all-that-personal. The Washington Convention Center's a big, big place, so I'll be enjoying this privilege with a few thousand folks, I imagine... but I'LL BE THERE. He won't be on a screen, watched on my couch or through my computer or while braving the bitter cold on Inauguration Day; he will be in the same room as me.

Check this:

OK, so Cyndi Lauper has either ducked out or been dumped, but the Shepards have been added, along with some dude I've never heard of. Oh, & PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL BE THERE.

Am I drinking the "Our President is Great" Koolaid? Sure I am. Do I feel even the slightest bit bad or guilty about this? NOT AT ALL. America is one tasty beverage, y'all.

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Signage Fail


This feels a little bit like something from Engrish, albeit not funny or double entendre-laden. My real question is this: Why, Archstone Apartments, did you still put this up in my lovely apartment building? Did someone take it out of the box & go, "Oh, shoot. Well... maybe no one will notice"? Or, even worse, did no one notice at all?
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The Best Things in Life are Free, Version 2.0

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Last month, I blogged about free hookers. Sort of. But last week, I got two free things that are even better!

I know, I know. You're thinking, "But what could be better than free hookers?" I'll tell you, folks - free concert tickets and free movie tickets, to be enjoyed within the span of two days.

On Wednesday, I attended a Regina Spektor concert at DAR Constitution Hall, courtesy of DC music blog The Vinyl District, who hosted a day-before-the-event giveaway courtesy of Jupiter One, the opening band. Having never been to the venue ("Who were the Daughters of the American Revolution & how did they get such prime real estate on Capitol Hill?!"), I was expecting some little old theater for some little old show; what's more, our tickets read "Maybe Obstructed," so our dreams of decent views were dashed. But when we were lead to our seats, the view was anything but obstructed:

Prior to this show, I didn't even particularly like Regina Spektor, but, as my concert-going partner said, the show felt "like watching modern art." It was truly one of the more incredible musical experiences I've had the pleasure of enjoying.

The next day, I attended a sneak preview of Joel & Ethan Coen's new film, "A Serious Man," tickets courtesy of the National Council of Jewish Women. Because I actually walked out of the Coen Bros' "Burn After Reading" (who knew a Brad Pitt/George Clooney flick could be such a snooze?), my hopes weren't particularly high for this one, either, but I was beyond surprised - pleasantly - by this movie, which was the Jewiest film I've ever seen (& I mean that in an enjoyable way). Afterward, the star of the show, Michael Stuhlbarg, did a Q&A for us, moderated by a smarmy NBC news correspondent who asked inane questions.

This week's verdict? I'm so into free things. Everything is exponentially more enjoyable than it would otherwise be when it's free. Where can I get more free things?!
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