Hey, Girl, You Like '90s Sitcoms?

Friday, October 23, 2009

I wasn't going to leave my house today, but being sick is boring. Like, really boring. I love me some "Wife Swap" & "Law & Order: SVU," but a girl can only take so many reruns, yanno? Also, I slept for about 16 hours yesterday, & then for a measly three last night, so my steady diet rotation of Dayquil & Nyquil is clearly effing with my internal clock a bit.

So I decide to head to work, albeit late. Circa 11 a.m., I grab a chai latte & hop a bus, & there begins the high/low point of my day. As soon as I sit down, a guy a few rows back moves to accompany me. The scene unfolds as follows:

"Hey, girl, you fine," he drawls. I ignore.
"What's your name?" he asks. I ignore.
"Where you headed?" he wonders. And I - you got it - continue to ignore.

Trying a new tactic, he goes for flirting gold: "You look like the daughter from 'Roseanne,' girl. Can I get your number?"

Oh, for crying out loud. This is the first time I've left my house in more than 48 hours. I'm wearing plastic glasses & no makeup & my hair is tangled like I just got out of a coma. I've got two teabags & an entire honey bear stashed in my purse, not to mention all those throat lozenges rattling around like I'm packing maracas. Yet some dude in a pinstripe suit still has the nerve to try to hit on me by telling me that I look like '90s high school dropout Darlene Conner?!

Mmm hmmm. This is my "Aw sheist, I DO look like Roseanne's daughter today" face. At least I left my flannel at home this fine Friday.

On a positive note, it appears that "I think I have swine flu" is a surefire way to lose the attentions of unwanted suitors.


  1. When we're out of ideas, we panic, I guess. I dunno. Was this on the L2? Because it's worse on the P6.

    Anyway. Chai Tea Latte is an Angela Taylor song. Have you heard it?

  2. You're kidding right? Flannel is HOT. I'm going to meet my future wife while she's wearing some...at a hockey game...while listening to Pearl Jam.

  3. Oh dear. Yea, I don't see it. What weird dude!

  4. HAHA. Why would someone think that comparing you to her would get you to talk to them? I love it.

  5. You do NOT look like that chick.

    (She's totally hilarious on Big Bang Theory, though.)

  6. Hee.... that's the best pick-up line EVER. I think I might start using it. (Yes, on men. It's that good.)


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