Monday, July 20, 2009

Doing & Debating Sex & Dating (Alternate Title: "SWEET GIVEAWAY!!!")

I had a whole dating post brewing, but my opinions on the topic of 20-something dating are apparently so potent that they interfere with my ability to think clearly enough to write about any of them.

The gist is this: In middle school, when I told my mom I was going out with a boy, she asked "Where are you going?" I groaned, "Moooommmm, we're not going anywhere. Geez." I don't know what coupledom looks like in those hallowed halls these days, but in the late '90s, being a middle school couple meant holding hands at lunch & passing notes at your locker. (If you were lucky, it meant a kiss during "Forrest Gump" in his basement. Ahem.) My, how life has changed.

At the ripe old age of almost-25, dating – or at least attempting to date – means a lot of things. It can mean “pseudo-seeing” guys with fast food nicknames or being hit on in the midst of death threats. Compromising your values by kissing by someone who has a significant other or by grabbing Thai food with a Yale grad employed by the McCain campaign. Risking OKCupid or speed-dating or trusting your friends' set-up judgment. Going on a blind date with the polar opposite of a commitmentphobe or being text-assaulted by the exact definition of "holy freaking clingy."

We all have our stories. They involve introductions in bars & at house parties & online. Heeding advice that instructs us to “play the game” by not texting too much, not responding too quickly, not being obtainable or emotional or invested - or by ignoring all these so-called rules & trying our hands at honesty, often at the risk of being branded with the dreaded “too available” label. They involve butterfly-inducing first dates & messy endings & lots of worrying & analyzing & hoping & anticipating in between.

Unlike the majority of folks I went to high school with, I'm in no hurry to get hitched or pop out babies. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still fascinated by the state of dating, especially in the big city, where we’ve got an abundance of winners like the blogging bachelor who hated on me for calling him out on his exceptional skeeviness & the well-intentioned (or voyeuristic) Washington Post setting up complete strangers on Date Lab experiments. DC’s supposed to be this hotbed of bustling single activity – & while that makes for interesting stories, it doesn’t necessarily make for better luck.

I don’t have the answers, but I do have a special dating-related giveaway from Eden Fantasys for one lucky reader!* Rest assured that you relationship-blessed folks can still enter, but suffice it to say that the company really specializes in tools that may be of particular use to those of us on the less-than-frequent side of the getting-some spectrum. The winner will receive this condom kit from Just in Case to keep your little latex lifesavers discreet - & a $25 gift card to purchase your choice of, um, home entertainment from the folks at Eden Fantasys!

  • Enter by midnight this Sunday, July 26th.
  • Leave me a comment telling me what your favorite part of dating is. Or, if you’re feeling bitter, go with your least favorite. Unless I know you already, you must include your email address or some way for me to reach you!
  • For an extra entry, tweet about this giveaway using this link: Leave a comment linking to your tweet or @reply to me at @katycometrue.

My mom says this giveaway is “tasteless,” but I disagree. After all, you don’t have to tell me what you use your gift card for! And hey, while we’re talking about sex & dating – get educated. Support comprehensive sex ed. Be an advocate for sexual health, education & justice. Sex is not something to be ashamed of unless we say it should be. So say otherwise.

Now ENTER MY GIVEAWAY, why don’t you!

*Many thanks to @drewg78 for making this giveaway happen!
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