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In a Parallel Universe...

Tuesday, November 21, 2023

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Did you ever read the book Dark Matter by Blake Crouch? I loved most of it, but I hated the ending so much that I gave it a very low rating on Goodreads and still complain about it to this day. But that's not the point! The point is the concept of the multiverse, of alternate universes and lives and stories and versions of us. 

Maybe Matt Haig's The Midnight Library is a better example, in which a woman who tries to die by suicide first experiences all the other possible variations on her life, had she made slightly different choices along the way.

All the Sliding Doors versions of her life, if you will. I guess this is a tale as old as time, huh?

Anyway. Tobia recently wrote a post about all of the jobs she might have and lives she might lead in a parallel universe, which got me thinking about what my own might be. Here's what I came up with.

***

In a parallel universe, I'm a magazine editor. I know, I know, magazines barely exist anymore, but my dream of working for one still does. Every '90s movie seemed to feature magazine editors as the pinnacle of success and prestige, and there's some life in which I am, too.

In a parallel universe, I'm a neuroscientist, studying neuroplasticity and the ways brains work, change and grow. In this life, I'm the opposite of a scientist, with no real understanding of the way bodies function, but there's some version where I put in the work to make this side interest my main focus.

In a parallel universe, I'm a marketing executive, maybe at a nonprofit or at some sort of high-powered company. I work all the time and I'm never too far from my email inbox, and I'm probably proud but not particularly happy. 

In a parallel universe, I'm a court stenographer, capturing every word spoken in the courtroom for the sake of posterity and impartiality. I've turned my curiosity about crime and my love of documenting stories into a meaningful career that impacts people's lives.

In a parallel universe, I'm a rabbi, having turned my passion for helping people and giving advice into a higher calling that allows me to provide guidance on a personal and spiritual level. I'm with them for their highs and lows, their good and their bad.

In a parallel universe, I'm a lifestyle influencer. What lifestyle am I influencing people to have? Listen, I don't know. But in a parallel life, it panned out for me, all the years of blogging and social media use. People know my name, follow my stories, and trust my opinions. 

***

In this universe, though, I'm just me: professional healthcare writer, prolific freelance writer, sometimes-blogger, mediocre social media user, aspiring future author. I'm pretty happy with the life and career I've built for myself, and I can't imagine it any other way. I hope all those other versions of me are enjoying whichever version of our life they're living! 

In a parallel life, what (or who) might you be? What other versions of you could be out there somewhere, in the ether, and what might they be up to? 
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How I'm Trying to Find My Chill Amid the Stress of Starting a New Job

Friday, April 23, 2021

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I told you last week that I was gearing up to start a new job after 13.5 years at the old one. The truth is that I did start a new job in between, way back in 2010, but it wasn't the right fit... so I ended up going back to the job I'd had before it! I'm not planning to do that this time, but the fact remains that starting a new job – even the right one – is incredibly exhausting.

Simply put, it takes a lot of brain power to do new things, even things that are technically simple. Switching from Zoom to Slack & from Basecamp to Trello & even from one laptop to another can be surprisingly taxing, creating new mental pathways that identify my "new normal." And that's on top of learning the ins & outs of the job itself & interacting with a whole slew of brand new people. 

In short, it's stressful to be the person who doesn't know anything. So I'm trying my best to stay calm & cool & collected (lol, yes, so in keeping with my personality) by feeling in control of other areas of my life. Here's how.
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On Moving Forward, Making Friends, and Finding Myself

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

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I've been thinking a lot about the last post I ever wrote on my old Xanga site. Remember Xanga? Man, I loved that place. I wrote there all throughout college.

My last post was on July 4, 2007, just over a month before my graduation from Kent State University. The day after commencement, my mom, aunt, & I loaded up two cars with all my belongings & drove me to Washington, D.C., where just two days later, I started my first post-college job as a legislative assistant at a Jewish nonprofit. I expected to work there for a year & move home, but instead... well, I never left.

Until now. 

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If We Were Having Coffee...

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

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If we were having coffee, I'd be really excited to finally order my warm-weather drink - a large iced coffee with a splash of simple syrup & soy milk. I'd also tell you that I'm excited that it's cheaper than my winter lattes!

I'd tell you about my recent trip to New York City, where my office is. They only bring me in once or twice a year, & this time, I barely spent any time in the actual office, because they brought me in for two days of off-site meetings. Hey, the building had a good view, strong coffee, & lots of snacks, at least! Have you ever worked out of a Convene meeting room? Very cool.


I'd tell you that before that trip, I experienced some of the worst physical manifestations of stress in my life. I was nervous about the trip, super-crazed at work, trying to meet multiple freelance deadlines, & attempting to wrap up some other loose ends before I left town - & it resulted in my body basically just, like, locking up. I couldn't turn my head, I had shooting pain beneath my ribs, & I could literally barely walk... it was bad.

I'd tell you that the trip turned out just fine. Honestly, I just never give myself enough credit for the way I thrive in big cities. I was worried that I didn't know how to, like, do New York - which is ridiculous, given that I've been going to this office for 11 years, & I lived in Jersey, & I am, at heart, a city girl. Sure, the subway stresses me out, but I've always been fine in busy cities - & still am. 


I'd tell you that I'm headed to New York again at the end of April. I convinced my boss to make it half a work trip, but it was booked as a personal trip to attend my best friend's father's memorial service. She's the one I visited Miami with in January, after her dad died but before they'd planned anything for him. I'm glad to be able to be there for her - & I booked the trip using credit card points.

I'd tell you that this trip will probably be busier but hopefully also more fun - aside from the memorial service, of course. I'm working from the office, setting up face-to-face meetings, & making plans with friends I don't see often. I'm also hoping to have a couple of blog-worthy adventures I couldn't otherwise have here in the CLE. Maybe a trip to The Color Factory or finally walking the High Line? And Corbin Bleu is in "Kiss Me Kate"!

I'd tell you that before that trip, I'm trying relax, unwind, & stay healthy. I'd tell you I'm mad at myself for getting the time wrong on (& thus missing) my first Rise Nation class, but I joined Planet Fitness & am planning to take full advantage of their weird hydromassage couches. I'd tell you I haven't done as much Harness Cycle as I'd like lately, but that I'm excited to try SoulCycle when I'm in New York. Oh, & I even signed up for ClassPass! Who am I?

I'd tell you that things are going well but that I need to work on stress management - as always. I'd tell you I'm rereading the Harry Potter series, slowly, & that I'm enjoying new TV shows like The Enemy Within, The Act, & The Fix. I'd tell you that I've been listening to the new Jonas Brothers song on repeat but that I can never get enough of podcasts, including The Baby-Sitters Club Club & the brand new Jensen & Holes: Murder Squad.

Oh, yeah - & I swear I'd let you talk, too.

 So tell me: What's new with you?
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Caring for Your Whole Self: My Ongoing Attempts at Work/Life Balance

Saturday, March 30, 2019

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"You don't have anything to give that you don't have." -Oprah Winfrey

I've never been a big Oprah person, but when I saw this video of her last week, I was completely struck by it - & it has stuck with me. It was the first part of the first presentation of the day at Engage! Cleveland's Next Generation of Women event, & it was one of the most moving parts of the day, especially when paired with a conversation with Jan Murphy, senior vice president of mission & ministry for Sisters of Charity Health System.

The session, titled "Caring for Your Whole Self," was about creating better balance & taking care of your mind, body, & spirit, while staying away from negativity, toxicity, & over-commitment. Murphy, a former nun with 40 years of health care experience, is a former COO for the Cleveland Clinic - which is to say, she probably knows a little something about staying calm, collected, & mentally sound while also being a career badass. (Is it OK to call a nun a badass...?)
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What Career Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

Friday, March 15, 2019

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Me at work, circa 2008

I've worked for the same organization since I graduated from college, with the exception of a few months, when I worked elsewhere... & then came back. Bear with me, though: Yes, I've been at the same place for a long time, but things change, people change, & growth still happens.

I'm 34 now, more than a decade out of college (yowza!), & when I look back on my career, sure, many of the faces look the same, as does the employer on my pay stub - but I have learned so much. There are so many things I wish someone had told me... or that I'd figured out for myself just a liiiittle bit sooner.

Here are a few of the lessons I've learned & that I'd impart to my younger self, if I could.
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What I Wish I'd Known about Self-Care in My Twenties

Monday, October 8, 2018

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My college friend Tara is an established self-care coach & speaker who founded The Self-Care Suite, which "creates affirming spaces for women to flourish." She's also the founder and chief creative curator of The Bloom Beautifully Box, a self-care subscription box for women (currently on hiatus). In other words, Tara knows self-care.

Recently, she posed a question in the Facebook group she runs:
"I’m doing my first self-care workshop for young women (ages 19-22) this week and I am so excited to be spreading the gospel to women at the very beginning of their journey. Tell me: What do you wish you had known about self-care back in your early 20s?"
My response was long-winded & not posted in time to be of help to Tara. Still, it got me thinking, feeling, remembering - so I thought I'd share it with you here.

What do I wish I had know about self-care back in my early twenties?

I wish I had known & really internalized that self-care isn't just for older women, or career-established women, or women with kids. Self-care is for everyone - maybe especially twentysomethings, who are way more overworked & overwhelmed than the world seems to acknowledge.

We expect them to do everything, & to do it with enthusiasm, without recognizing the strains & stresses these expectations put on their fragile ability to balance it all. At that age, I was running myself ragged with work, school, side gigs, a social life, & trying to learn how to be an adult. I had more than one anxiety-induced meltdown that left me feeling completely useless & hopeless & horrible.

Two such memories stand out. In college, I quit my newspaper beat - the prestigious administrative beat, which had made me the senior-most non-editor reporter on staff, with regular access to the university president & other execs. There just weren't enough hours in the day, & I couldn't do it all without letting something fall behind - it was either my deadlines or my grades or my sanity. I beat myself up about quitting, sure that I was a failure & a disappointment who would never amount to anything. I was reassigned to a more flexible beat, but I was embarrassed to show my face in the newsroom around colleagues who seemed to be able to balance all so much better than I could.

In my second year of work, I was asked to travel on a whim to accompany the head of our company on a meeting with the ambassador to Israel. It was a huge responsibility, & I was honored - but I was also petrified. I had a ton of work on my plate in the office, & I didn't feel that I had the time to take this trip and complete my everyday work; I didn't think I would be given leeway on the latter, & I didn't feel as though I could ask for it. I remember this time so vividly because it was the first time I had a panic attack, though I didn't know what to call it.

I felt I was too young to "deserve" self-care or downtime or relaxation or a mental health break.

In my mind, self-care was for other people. I hadn't yet proven myself at work, hadn't worked enough hours, didn't have the excuse of being a mother or a wife, should've simply been able to handle it all by myself. I though that if I admitted that I needed a break or to take some time for myself, I would be chastised or looked down on or ridiculed, whether publicly or behind my back. I was certain it would hurt my career, my friendships, my professional relationships, & my social standing. Self-care seemed like a detriment, not a necessity.

In short, I thought I had to earn my keep in order to earn the right to rest from the pressures of daily life. 

Now, at 34, I know this is not true, & in retrospect, the way I treated myself in my early twenties is one of the main reason I focus so heavily on self-care & mental health today. I can very obviously see how the stress of daily life weighed on me & so negatively impacted my mental health when I was young - in a go-go-go mentality, an amped-up social life, never saying no to any opportunity or possibility, even when I was maxed out. I worked long, late hours; I ate dinner at work, usually Taco Bell or Chipotle; & when I did have free time, I spent it drinking with friends, not taking care of myself.

These days, there's nothing I value more than a "mental health day," be it a workday I'm taken as vacation or simply an unscheduled weekend to myself.

I understand the value of quiet time, just for me - in listening to my body & my mind & my emotions & figuring out what they need in order to operate at full capacity.

I see how health & wellness play into the whole self-care picture, how exercise & movement & healthy foods are related to my overall well-being.

I know that a pizza & a Netflix binge are, in themselves, not sufficient acts of self-care - except for the times when they are.

I see the maintenance of my friendships & other relationships as vital to my own ability to thrive & to feel supporter, loved, & surrounded.

I try not to feel guilty about needing more sleep than the average bear, especially since being diagnosed with a rare sleep disorder.

With all of this in mind, what would I, at 34, tell young women today who are struggling with self-care?

I hope young women today truly take in the lesson that self-care is for them, too - that they are deserving & worthy of mental, physical, & emotional health simply by virtue of existing.
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Why Am I So Hard on Myself?

Monday, July 9, 2018

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I took a 9:30am Harness Cycle class last Friday, cutting a little bit into my work day - but because I had a light workload for the day & had worked late the night before, I didn't think too much about it. It was also the Friday of a holiday week; who can concentrate then?! 

While in class, though, I started to feel guilty for taking time off work without telling anyone - yes, despite the fact that most of my work was already done & that I was still working the right amount of hours for a regular workday, just slightly out of order. As I rode, I started to beat myself up: What if someone needed me? What if someone needed me & I wasn't around & they thought I was a terrible, constant slacker? What if someone needed me & couldn't find me & told my boss & I got in trouble?

Who, whoa, whoa, self. Calm it down.

The ride continued, & my mind kept going. I started to fall into one of those weird brain spirals, the kind that has you second-guessing everything you do or have ever done: Why can't I wake up earlier to go to a class before work? Why do I stay up so late?Why am I so shitty at being adult?

 And it was there, finally, that I was able to stop myself: Hey, wait, I'm not a shitty adult!

But I sure do like to tell myself I am.

I've been feeling out of shape lately, & I've eaten one too many slices of pizza in celebration of summer. What a slug, I told myself. But I've been working out - hard - two to three times for the first time in my life. Give yourself some credit, I reminded myself.

I've been feeling a little bit unsettled at work lately, & I have a a pile of stuff to edit, plus a webinar I haven't yet written an outline for. What a slacker, I told myself. But I've been doing a ton of work on our action around family separation, trans rights, & gun violence prevention, among others. Give yourself some credit, I begged myself.

I've been feeling like a totally unsuccessful writer lately, & I've got a freelance piece due on the 16th that I haven't started yet. What a procrastinator, I told myself. But I just finished a 1,200-word personal essay on mental health, to very positive feedback (& minimal changes!) from my editors. Give yourself some credit, I implored myself.

I am so quick to chastise myself, to insist that I could be better. I could exercise more, I could eat healthier, I could be neater, I could clean the bathroom more often, I could wake up earlier, I could go to bed earlier, I could do more work, I could work more hours, I could save more money, I could, I could, I could, I could.

But what about all the things I'm already doing?

What about the cycling classes I've finished & the work I've completed & the freelancing I've done & the activism I'm engaged in? What about the three blog posts a week & the mostly-clean apartment & the loving marriage & the relationship with my mom & the money in my savings account? Why am I so quick to dismiss my successes - even the small, everyday ones?

Life is a challenge - all of it, for all of us - & those small successes deserve our recognition & appreciation as much as the large ones do. When you put them all together, they're one big success. They're a life.

For someone who has struggled with mental illness, especially, it's all too easy to insist that I could be so much better. In that moment, though, in the middle of that ride, I thought to myself: I am pretty damn good.

And now I just need to remember it - like, all the time.
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8 Lessons Learned from Successful CLE Businesswomen

Friday, April 20, 2018

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I had the honor of attending yesterday's Next generation of women in leadership event yesterday, hosted by Engage! Cleveland & Sherwin-Williams & held at the stadium where the Cleveland Browns play. It was a beautiful day for views of Lake Erie, & inside, the view was even better: The 200+ young women in attendance heard from six of our city's successful businesswomen, who each spoke on a different topic that impacts young women in our personal & professional lives.

Here are some of my favorite nuggets of wisdom from throughout the event.

1. "Be the CEO of your life."

This was my favorite line of the day, from Kim Jenkins Manigault, EVP & chief diversity/inclusion officer at KeyBank, who spoke about finding your tribe & your support system. The full quote was, "Be the CEO of your life. Demote or fire people who don't deserve to share your space." Amen, right? Give yourself permission to be in charge of your mental, emotional, & physical space, including who is allowed through the doors. If someone deserves to be fired from your life, so be it.

2. Your personal brand is who other people think you are.

This seems like a no-brainer, but it's something I never really thought about: Liza Zone, managing director of Dix & Eaton, pointed out that your personal brand isn't the image you want to convey; it's the image you do convey. What are your blindspots? What don't you realize you're doing? Whether it's Resting Bitch Face, a lack of eye contact, or a haughty attitude, you could be contributing to your personal brand in a way you don't realize - & don't mean to.

3 It's OK to cry. Just do it behind closed doors.

Micki Byrnes, president & general manager of WKYC, spoke about having difficult conversations at work, from discussions about harassment to navigating maternity leave to asking for a raise. It's hard to believe that a badass like Byrnes has ever cried at work, but she admitted that she's sobbed after firing people - key word being after. Take your lumps (or give them out, depending on your position) & then feel free to be emotional about it... when no one is watching. 

4. Women who use conversational "hedges" have lower professional status.

Amy Shannon, president of Pinnacle Leadership Solutions, shared a handout titled "10 Common Things that Undermine Women's Speech Habits." I already knew to be wary of words like "just" & "actually," which indicate a tentativeness & a lack of professional confidence, but I didn't know they were called "hedges" - or that the women who use them are almost always in lower positions than women who don't. Trim the hedges!

5. Seek organizational investment in your civic engagement.

Teresa Metcalf Beasley of Calfee, Halter & Griswold LLP has her hand in a million projects, including motherhood, volunteerism, & being a partner at her law firm. She spoke about the need to discuss your volunteer work with your superiors in order to get buy-in from them - which gives you more wiggle room to participate in that work. Instead of simply being seen as leaving half an hour early one day, you'll be seen at leaving half an hour early to go serve on a board to help better your community - which makes a world of a difference to higher-ups. 

6. Yes, your personal brand can evolve over time - for better or for worse! 

Lisa Zone 's two examples of this were Snoop Dogg (who ever expected him to become BFF with Martha Stewart?!) & Bill Cosby (who ever expected him to fall from grace so very hard?) - talk about a change in perception! Not every brand evolution is so drastic or identifiable, but you can change the way you're perceived - whether it's by doing something major or just by chipping away at a better version of yourself.

7. Pauses in conversation denote confidence. 

It's no secret that people who ramble usually do so because they're nervous (hand up over here!) Amy Shannon taught us that women who are able to speak slowly & to take deliberate pauses while speaking (especially when presenting) are seen as confident & knowledgeable. It's one of those things you know but don't realize - that if rambling indicates nervousness, not rambling indicates that you're cool, calm, & collected. Something to strive for!

8. Almost no one says no to a genuine request of "Can you help me?"

Another no-brainer, but it was somehow impactful to hear this from someone at the top: KeyBank's Kim Jenkins Manigault said she never turns down a request for help & is willing to mentor anyone who asks - to some extent. How much you get from her depends on how much you put into it & the level of support you're willing to offer her in return. 

 "Lift as you climb, but you're under no obligation to carry," she told us. Deep.

Disclosure: I was offered a complimentary ticket to Next Generation of Women in exchange for the creation of promotional content in advance of the event & recap content after the event. All opinions are my own. Truly, it was a great event!
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Who Are the Women that Drive You To Greatness - & How Can You Become One?

Sunday, April 8, 2018

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Who are the women that inspire you?

I mean, damn, that's a long list - but really, stop & think about it for a minute.

Is it your mom, your grandma, your aunt, your sister? What about politicians, activists, advocates? Celebrities & "influencers"? A boss, a coworker, other women who work in your profession? A professor who taught you, a mentor who guided you, a friend who inspires you?

I feel pretty lucky: I know a lot of incredible women in real life & via the Internet who motivate me to be better, to contribute more, to make my mark.

I aspire to be like the women in my own family: by my mother, who went back for her masters after becoming a widow & a single mother before 40 (& who's now retired & living a life of travel, exercise, & adventure); by my grandmother, a community activist, a prolific painter, & a Democratic canvasser even in her Conservative town; by my cousins & my sister, incredible (& very different from one another) businesswomen who still make time to travel the globe.

I am in awe of the talented women I've met online: by writers who have become full-time bloggers or published their own books; by the photographers who beautifully capture life's most poignant moments; by the activists who march & advocate & fundraise & educate & motivate; by the business owners who hustle & promote & put their woman-driven work into the world. That list, in particular, goes on & on. The Internet is full of pretty amazing women.

I'm moved by celebrities & politicians & other big names: by the female politicians who blaze trails & break ceilings & persevere even as the male-dominated system works to remove their rights; by the #MeToo & #TimesUp women in Hollywood dismantling pop culture's patriarchy from the inside out; by the authors who share their words & their stories & their experiences & their entire goddamn hearts on paper for the rest of us to learn from.

And I am motivated by my own friends: by the rabbis who are both spiritual leaders & social justice warriors; by the moms who are raising the next generation & the educators who are teaching them, despite challenges stacked against them all; by the communicators who network & market their asses off, but never in a phony way; by every female coworker I have ever had in my 10+ years at my place of employment (!), who are passionate & hard-working & bettering the world, never too jaded to continue it.

I want to be a woman who inspires other women. 

 I don't know how to get there, but all I can do is keep being myself & doing my best & hoping that it helps motivate someone, anyone, who sees my hustle & hard work & thinks, "I could live a life like hers," & then decides that she will.

That is, in part, why I'm so excited to have been invited to attend Engage Cleveland!'s Next Generation of Women forum on April 19 at First Energy Stadium in downtown Cleveland. 

Presented in partnership with Sherwin-Williams (they're local to the CLW!), this half-day conference is geared toward emerging professional women in their 20s & 30s who are navigating the balance between their careers & their personal lives. All  speakers are successful female professionals from across Cleveland, from companies like KeyBank & the Great Lakes Science Center, on topics like:
  • Creating your personal brand & selling yourself
  • Negotiating & broaching tough topics at work
  • Prioritizing personal, civic, & professional responsibilities
  • Selling yourself, speaking up, & asking for what you need
  • Making decisions in navigating your career & personal life
  • Finding people to help you thrive & grow

 Sounds kind of amazing, right? Want to join us? There's still time to register! 

And whether or not you're able to join, stay tuned to my blog for a recap after the event of some of the most important lessons I learned from attending. Here's to strong women: May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them. 

Tell me: Who are the women who most inspire you?

 Disclosure: I was offered a complementary ticket to Next Generation of Women in exchange for the creation of promotional content in advance of the event & recap content after the event. All opinions are my own - & truly, I'm excited as hell to attend this conference. 
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9 Jobs I've Had, Both Weird & Wonderful

Thursday, March 22, 2018

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In my recent "10 Things You Didn't Know About Me," I wrote about my first job, working at a bakery at age 15. I thought it might be fun to share some of the other jobs I've had through the years particularly in those formative high school & college years. I've had some terrible great ones!


1. Cashier & Assistant at an Italian Bakery

Like I said, when I was 15 I took a job decorating cakes & making pastries at an Italian bakery called Ninni's (RIP). I left very early every day to stuff cannoli, fill French horns, stack cookies, decorate cakes, & do whatever else was needed of me. It was a really fun place to work, especially at Christmas, & not least of all because I worked with my best friend.

2. Concessions Stand Manager at a Mini Waterpark

Whenever I tell someone I worked at a swimming pool, they seem to respond excitedly, "Oh, I was a lifeguard, too!" But... no. I was a "kitchen girl," managing the concessions stand at Waterworks Family Aquatic Center. I roasted the hot dogs & ordered the pizzas & swirled the ice cream cones & mixed the slushies. I accepted wet dollar bills out of dads' swim trunk pockets & chased after kids who stole Nerd Ropes. It was, hands down, the most fun job I've ever had.

3. Holiday Staff at Macy's 

Whyyyy did I always want to work in retail? I can't explain it, but I always wanted to work in retail. Enter my job at Macy's over holiday break during the first two years of college. I worked primarily in the accessories & jewelry departments &, occasionally, in the men's department. I actually loved working in the jewelry department because some of the most frequent customers were men looking for gifts for their girlfriends & wives, & older ladies looking for gifts for their daughters & granddaughters. I loved trying to help them pick out the perfect piece.


4. Fryer Cleaner at the Campus Dining Hall 

This was both the worst job I've ever had & the shortest-held job I've ever had. I applied for an on-campus job at the dining hall a few doors down from my dorm, but I was a little late into the application process, so there weren't many gigs left. That's how I ended up in shoulder-high rubber gloves, cleaning a fryer big enough for me to fry myself in. On my first day, someone walked by & said, "Oh... is this your job now? Usually they only hire, like, big dudes to do this job." I went home reeking of oil - & quit by phone after day three.

5. Circulation Staffer at the Campus Library

This is the job I scored through campus job placement after I left the fryer cleaning gig, & boy, did I get lucky. I worked behind the circulation desk, checking books in & out, answering questions, & trying to return lost & found items to their owners. I worked with some of the greatest coworkers I've ever had, a motley crew that played a Family Guy drinking game every Tuesday & truly saved me from the hell of living in a sorority house I hated. When I transferred, my job at the library & the friends I made there were what I missed most. 

6. Event Staff at a Community Center

When I transferred colleges, I lived with my mom for a year & tried to get a job at the front desk of a local gym called The Natatorium, where a few friends worked. They didn't have any opening for front desk staffers, so they took me on as an employee in the adjoining community center part of the complex, staffing everything from weddings to city council meetings to kids' swimming pool parties. It was a weird & unpredictable job, but it was also kind of fun. I met lots of interesting people... & ate a lot of free food. Mostly cupcakes.


7. Assistant News Editor of the Campus Newspaper

When I transferred to Kent State, I started working for The Daily Kent Stater, an award-winning campus paper that also covered the surrounding city of Kent (& I'm still mad that it's not a daily anymore). In my senior year, I was named assistant news editor, helping to budget, assign, & edit stories & overseeing night publication once a week. Although it was a stressful, high-paced job (I practically lived in the newsroom), it was also one of the most rewarding - & surprisingly professional - jobs I've ever had. And yes, it paid! 

8. Front Desk Staff at a Local Gym

After about a year working as event staff in the community center, The Nat moved me to gym staff, working the front desk. I sold gym memberships, swiped people into the facility, helped clean up & organize the weight floor... it wasn't hard work, but I enjoyed it, especially because it was a great opportunity to talk to all kinds of different people. I kick myself, these days, for not taking advantage of the free gym membership when I had it - & man, that was a great gym! I've yet to find one that even comes close, especially for the price.

9. Legislative Assistant at a Religious Non-Profit

My first "real" job right out of college was working at the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism as an advocate on social justice issues related to civil rights & criminal justice. I worked on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act & the ADA Amendments Act, among others, meeting with coalitions of like-minded interfaith & secular organizations & lobbying our members of Congress on Capitol Hill. I also organized petitions, created action alerts, ghost-wrote op-eds & Congressional testimony... it was a freaking cool job. Ten years later, I still work for that office's parent organization.

Tell me: What jobs have you had? Can you relate to any of mine? 
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What Do You Do When You Can't Do Anything Right?

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

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I'm having one of those weeks where I feel like I just can't get anything right.

Do you ever have days - or weeks, or months - like that?

I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that it's a little bit of everything: work, wedding, diet, home. All I want, quite honestly, is to crawl under the covers & mope & feel sorry for myself for a little bit, but I've got so much to do in the next few weeks that that's not feasible. Instead, I've got to slog through it & hopefully rebuild my confidence a little bit in the process so that I don't get stuck in a rut.

Here's how I tend to do it - but I'm open to suggestions & additions, so hit me with your best pick-me-up tips!

1. Power through my to-do list.

The more organized I am, the better I feel, so when I'm feeling down, one of the best things I can do for myself is to feel very in-control of as much as possible. Even if that means working after hours or staying up late to get everything done, well, it feels worth it when I don't feel stressed about how much I have to do - which usually only serves to make me feel worse about myself.

2. Indulge in some self-care.

I know everyone Gen X & older seems to roll their eyes at this phrase (after a particular incident, I no longer mention it at work), but I believe self-care is important - & it's not all spa days & eat-the-donut, either. At its base level, self-care is about taking care of yourself, & so, during times when I'm feeling down, I try to do things that will make me feel better, both about myself & generally, from getting enough sleep to getting all my work done to reading a good book to, yes, the occasional home facial.

3. Be kind to others. 

When I feel like all I ever get is negative feedback, I try to provide positive feedback to others & hope that some of it rubs off on me. Maybe that just means saying thank you to someone who holds the door for me, or shooting off a quick, "You did a great job on this!" email to a coworker, or giving a small compliment to a stranger. The nicer I am to others, the nicer I can be to myself.

4. Vent to someone who gets it.

I really try not to complain to much, & when I do, I spread it out among friends so no one ever hears too much negativity from me. When I'm having a rough day or difficult moment, I think for a little bit about who might understand how I'm feeling & why, or even just the one who can surely pick me up with a funny story of gif. I'm grateful to have friends who will talk me through it or even just let me send a wall of angry text before we move on to happier topics. Word-vomit is incredibly cathertic.

5. Look to the future.

Just today, my Twitter friend Nneka shared some wisdom: "This day did not start off well. But thankfully, as my spiritual advisor always says, at any point you can start your day over." This tweet felt like a freaking revelation: Just because it's been a bad day/week doesn't mean it has to remain a bad day/week. Keeping my focus on moving forward toward the positive - whenever that comes - always helps me to remember that I won't always feel the way I do right this moment.

What do you do when you're feeling down on yourself? Got any tips for me? 
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7 Tips from a Social Media Strategist (That's Me!) for Strengthening Your Online Presence

Friday, October 20, 2017

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I love when people think that writing is my full-time job, but alas, it isn't. I work a 9-to-5 (OK, more like a 10-to-6) at a nonprofit organization, where I'm responsible for writing & editing, yes, but also for lots & lots of social media management. My background is in journalism, but social media was just gaining traction during my college years, & as a communications major, I fell into it naturally. You could say social media & I have grown up together - or at least grown together. We've both come a long way! 

I've done a little bit of social media consulting on the side, but mostly I just like to engage in on-the-fly conversations with friends & small business owners who have one-off questions or just want quick tips for building their social media presence. I know, I know, don't give away your expertise for free - but I like it.

Here are the seven most common quick tips I like to share with folks who are struggling to get a grasp on their social media presence. Please consider forwarding it to someone you know who's having a hard time Internetting!

1. Make time. 

Especially if it doesn't come naturally to you, set aside a little time each day - on your clock or calendar! - to devote to social media scheduling, engagement, etc.


2. Use scheduling tools. 

No one wants to spend all damn day online, social media professionals included (& perhaps especially!) I love Hootsuite, Sprout Social, & Facebook's native engagement tool for setting it & forgetting it while remaining consistent in posting.

3. Engage with others! 

If a tree falls in the forest & no one is there to hear it... same with social media. Retweet, share, praise, ask questions, etc. Your social media voice shouldn't exist in a vacuum.

4. Vary your content from platform to platform.

Switch it up, rather than cross-posting the same thing over & over on all of them (& for goodness sake, don't set up auto-crossposting!). These platforms are different for a reason, & different presentations work best for each of them. You'll see the most engagement & have the most success if your messaging is tailored for the medium.

5. Post different kinds of content.

Sometimes, post a teaser link, other times a photo or a branded graphic, or a retweet-with-comment, or a direct share, or a video, or a Spotifty playlist, etc. See what works best for your audience & which kinds of posts give you the greatest levels of engagements.

6. Google is your BFF. 

Have a social media question? Someone has definitely already answered it online. Stick with reliable sources, a la Mashable, Hubspot, & other industry professionals.

7. Ask a pro. 

Still not sure you're doing it right or want direct feedback? Hire a professional to help you sort out your social media presence & get on the right track. Lots of folks with full-time marketing/writing gigs do social media consulting on the side (like me, or Brittany from According to Brittany), so you should be able to find someone at a reasonable price, whatever your range.

 Have a question for me - or a tip for others? Leave it in the comments, & let's talk social media! 
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My 7 Necessary Self-Care Tricks for Busy Work Weeks

Thursday, August 17, 2017

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In a work meeting on Monday, one of my coworkers gave a short shpiel thanking all of us for the work we had already done this week & were preparing to do in the days to come. You see, I work for a Jewish organization, & in the wake of a rally full of literal Nazis, we had a lot of work to do: statements to write, members to check on, campaigns to get off the ground, content to prepare & share... we knew we had a long, full week ahead of us.

As my coworker spoke, she reminded us all to take care of ourselves personally while we were working so hard professionally. I chimed in with something to the effect of, "Self-care is important during tough times!" She rolled her eyes & responded, "No, it's not self-care, you millennials. Just do what you need to do to take care of yourself." OK, well, that's what I meant. Isn't that what self-care means?

I think self-care is important, & maybe it is a millennial obsession, but since when is focusing on our mental & emotional well-being a bad thing? Perhaps the generations before us don't focus on self-care enough!

Look, this week has been really hard. It's been a lot of work, & only a little bit of sleep, because when I'm anxious or busy, I don't sleep very well. It's emotionally grueling, too, to keep up with the news cycle when the news cycle is all about racism & anti-Semitism & hatred & bigotry & the list goes on.

Here's how I deal during difficult weeks:
  1. Keep easy food on hand. I don't really cook - like, at all. When I'm busy, I make even less effort, which usually results in ordering takeout or buying chips from the bodega down the street & subsequently feeling like utter shit. This week, wary of falling into that old trap, I ran to Target & bought frozen veggie burritos & a few Lean Cuisine pizzas. Are they the healthiest? No, but they're way better than ordering Domino's or binging a bag full of Cheez-Its - & they're just as mindless, so I don't have to put in much effort.
        
  2. Sneak naps on my lunch breaks: I don't usually take lunch breaks, actually, but on busy weeks, they're a must - & when I've streamlined a meal plan like that, I need less time for lunch, which means lunch breaks become nap breaks. Sometimes even 15 minutes of shut-eye can calm me down & rejuvenate me so I feel ready to get back to work. Perk of working from home!
        
  3. Don't underestimate the power of a shower. During particularly busy work weeks, I tend to work through times that should include taking a shower & sprucing myself up & becoming a real person. When I do finally take a moment to clean up, the result is almost always a complete 180. Even if it's temporary, it's important. Again: perks of working from home, I guess, though, is it a perk to not have to prioritize personal hygiene?
       
  4. Find a mindless TV show to binge while I work: I love to keep the TV on (or more specifically, my iPad), while I work, but I can only work through really brainless shows. I just finished the first season of the CW's Riverdale, a sinister take on the Archie comics, & now I'm back to watching season three of The O.C. Oh, & amidst it all, my guilty pleasure Bachelor in Paradise started, so maybe it's my lucky week, after all!
     
  5. Read a book: During weeks like this, I end of working well beyond standard office hours. Still, I try to take time for myself where I can, even if that just means reading a book during bathroom breaks or for a whopping five minutes before bed. Right now, I'm reading Nathan Englander's What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank, a book of short stories that isn't necessarily light-hearted, but it is incredible, & it feels incredibly appropriate for the times, too. It's nice to get lost in something that's not work.
     
  6. Seek out support: This might seem like a no-brainer, but I think that I, at least, tend to forget about it or downplay how much it matters, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I tend to think I ought to deal with it by myself - but why? That's what friends, family, & fiancés are for. When someone asks how I'm doing, I am honest without being a whiner or a downer, which opens the line of communication to talk a little bit about where I'm at & get a little bit of support.
      
  7. Know my limits: I've said no to a few things this week. I said I couldn't take on an additional project request from a colleague; I told Mike I needed to go to bed early instead of doing date night. I haven't bailed on everything, but during weeks like this, I try to pay attention when I'm feeling overextended, recognizing that time is a precious resource when things feel hectic. 
The world's a scary place right now, you guys. Take care of yourself. And tell me: How's your week going? How do you get through particularly busy weeks?
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Hey, CLE Creatives! Join Me for These Two June Events

Thursday, June 8, 2017

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One of my goals for this year was to get more involved in personal & professional development opportunities, so when my friend Marchaé asked if I'd like to submit a proposal with her to run social media workshop for Literary Cleveland, I jumped at the opportunity.

Not only was our proposal accepted, but we were asked to join another session, too, a two-parter on blogging (cue up "These are a few of my favorite thing...") in partnership with local writer Jill Miller Zimon. Now, we're prepping for three sessions, all taking place this month right here in the CLE.

If you're a Clevelander who wants to start a blog, better your blogging skills, or hone your social media strategy to strengthen your personal or professional brand, come join us. Know someone else who might be interested? I'd love it if you'd share this info with them.

Here are the details about both workshops. See you there!

Get Social and Get Seen 

Fri. June 16th, 9-11am
Want to expand your organization's voice on social media but don't know where to start? Ready to be your own brand & become a social media influencer? Attendees will learn best practices for building a social media strategy from two experts in social media marketing & blogging. All skill levels are welcome, whether you're just joining Facebook or perfecting the lighting on your Instagram stories. ($20 members/$25 non-members, The Gordon Square Arcade Conference Room, 6516 Detroit Ave., CLE)


Building a Better Blog 

Wed. June 14th & 28th, 7-9p 
A key to success for any writer is having an online presence. Blogging is one way to share your expertise &, at the same time, build an author platform. This two-session writing workshop will guide you through the entire blogging process: how to create & set up a blog, where to start, how to plan a content strategy, how to attract readers, & how to market your writing using social media. ($25 members/$30 non-members, Loganberry Books, 13015 Larchmere Blvd., Shaker Heights)

If you're planning to attend either session, shoot me a tweet or an email, or leave me a comment here so I know to expect you - & so I can be sure to say hi in person!
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Hotel Life: What to Know When You're Staffing a Huge Conference for Work

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

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I don't talk much about my real-life job on this blog, & it's come to my attention, actually, that some readers are thus under the impression that I don't have one. I'm sort of impressed that I managed to convey that I'm some full-time blogger & freelancer, when the reality is that I work a 9-to-5 every day.

I won't go into too much detail about my job except to say that I work for a nonprofit, & I love it. Yep, you heard me: I love my job. I've worked for the same organization since I graduated from college in 2007, which means I'm coming up on my 10-year anniversary, which is bananas. Sometimes I feel like I should find a new job, but I don't want to find a new job because, like I said, I really like mine.

Last weekend, my org hosted a 1,400-person conference in Chicago. Our attendees were mainly high schoolers - yep, 1,000+ teenagers! - plus a smaller adult conference that ran parallel to the teen programming. This particular conference took place in a Hyatt Regency, which was the same hotel where we stayed. As a result, we spent a lotttt of time in the hotel!


...but not a lot of time in this glorious hotel bed, unfortunately, or in the city of Chicago itself. So what did we do? Here's a look at what it's like to staff a big work conference like this.

There's no time to see anyone who's not at the event.

As soon as I posted to Instagram that I was in Chicago, I sort of regretted it. There are so many people I know & love in the Windy City, & I knew I wasn't going to have time to see any of them. When event programming runs from 8am to 10:30pm every single day, there's just no way to squeeze in personal time. And in that vein...

Forget about seeing the sights.

Last weekend's event took place just blocks from the Bean, but I didn't get to see it because I never left the hotel. Literally. OK, I stepped outside three times to breathe fresh air, each time for less than five minutes. But beyond that? Nope, never. OK, a few colleagues took a lunch break to run to the Bean & grab Shake Shack, but I opted for a nap instead. Oops.


  

Water. Is. Everything. 

Yeah, I know, this is always true, but hotels are so dry, & when you're spending all your time inside one, you dry out pretty quickly, too. I didn't drink nearly enough water, which is probably why I ended up so sore & dehydrated by the end of the weekend. I know it's gross & TMI, but you know how you can tell whether you're drinking enough water, right? Your pee should be very light, close to clear. Too yellow? Drink up!  

Eating well is even more difficult than usual

Even with all that time spent in a hotel, I didn't find time to eat in the hotel restaurant! Instead, I grabbed breakfast, lunch, & dinner from a small market in the hotel lobby (think bagels, bananas, potato chips, & Diet Coke),  & on a few occasions, I ate scheduled meals with our teens & got a little bit of protein. I've never been so excited for hotel chicken! It didn't help that a former coworker sent us an Amazon shipment of junk food for the weekend, or that we ordered deep dish pizza twice. Hey, we had to get in a little bit of Chicago!


But at least you'll take lots of steps!

I've misplaced by FitBit charger, so I didn't wear it over the weekend, but the pedometer on my phone says I got in a couple thousand more steps every day than I do on a regular basis. I mean, gotta burn off that pizza somehow, right?

Don't expect to get much sleep.

I slept for about six hours a night, which is more than I usually expect to get at an event like this. I was assigned a random roommate, a colleague whose name I knew but who I'd never met, & we were almost never in the room at the same time. She worked later & woke up even earlier than I did! On Monday, I got home from the airport at 5pm & settled in for a little nap... that I didn't wake up from until 11am the next day. I am 32 years old & that should not be possible. But my body was tired, you guys, because event staffing is exhausting.

A little comp time is well-deserved.

I used to feel bad about asking for a comp day after I'd worked a full event - but not anymore. Staffing events is way more work than usual, & we are not superheroes, nor are any of us, presumably, paid enough to go weeks without a break (is anyone?!). I took Tuesday off & am considering taking Monday off, too, because #treatyoself, #selfcare, etc.


Now that I'm home & well-rested, I'm feeling good again. Exhausting as it was, it was a great event, & it reminded me how lucky I feel to work for an organization that I believe in, staffed by incredible, interesting, intelligent, driven people who I feel fortunate to know. This place built me, & these people continue to help me grow. It was truly an honor to pay it forward by staffing an event that helped do the same for 1,000 teenagers.

But if you'll forgive me, I'm probably gonna get back in bed here shortly. Our next big event is 5,000+ attendees in Boston this December. I've gotta rest up!
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6 Jewish Traditions We're Including in Our Wedding

Thursday, February 16, 2017

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https://pixabay.com/en/bride-bride-and-groom-field-groom-1867465/

I'm surprised how many times I've been asked, "Are you & Mike having a Jewish wedding?" Since so many real-life people have been curious about this element of our upcoming wedding, I thought I might share here, too, what we have planned - either as a sneak peek of what to expect, if you'll be there, or just as a look at some Jewish wedding traditions you may not know about.

For background: Mike went to Catholic school from kindergarten through high school, but these days, he's an atheist. I grew up Jewish, work for a Reform Jewish organization, & identify as culturally Jewish but spiritually agnostic. Because of my job, people assume I'm more religious than I actually am. I don't really consider myself religious, but Reform Judaism, as a community & a movement, is really important to me, regardless of "the God stuff" that I'm still unsure about.

So yes, we're planning to have a Jewish ceremony... for the most part. Here are some of the things we'll probably be doing - & a little explanation of what each of these things is & means, largely lifted from ReformJudaism.org. 

We will stand under a chuppah.

This is the wedding canopy that the couple stands beneath during the ceremony, symbolizing the home they'll establish together. Supported by four poles, the chuppah is sometimes held by family members & friends; its temporal, fragile nature is also a reminder that relationships, too, can be fragile & may occasionally need the support of loved ones.
Rather than have our family & friends hold our chuppah, we're going to go with a standalone structure - mostly so it's not too crowded up there! The chuppah will be covered with a tablecloth handmade & hand-embroided by my late great-grandmother.
  

We will sign a ketubah.

The Jewish marriage contract is signed just before the wedding ceremony by two witnesses who testify to the couple's commitment to one to the other. Modern-day egalitarian ketubot usually include descriptions of how the couple will support one another & the home they're establishing together (rather than, say, how the wife will be subservient to her husband, as in Biblical times).

We haven't yet chosen a ketubah but are on the lookout for something unique that speaks to our personal style & doesn't feel too stuffy. Ketubot are often beautiful pieces of art hung in places of honor in the couple's home, & we'd love to find or commission one that incorporates some element of our common interests or lives together. (Ahem, the Cleveland skyline...)

As a quick plug, my friend Ariela creates ketubot with quirky modern twists. If you're in the market, check her out at GeekCalligraphy.com!
 

We will probably recite the Sheva B'rachot.

Originally it was the groom who made the declaration of the Sheva B'rachot - the Seven Blessings - but in modern, egalitarian ceremonies, both members of the couple do it. The Sheva B'rachot praise the universe, humanity, the joy of the couple, the establishment of a household, & an ode to joy that links this celebration with the time when joy & gladness will be felt around the world. Tradition says that each time two people fall in love & marry, the world comes closer to perfection.

We don't yet have an officiant - unfortunately, the friend who was originally going to marry us is no longer able - so we've yet to discuss this with a rabbi, but it's such a common element of a Jewish wedding that I imagine we'll include it... in both Hebrew & English so our non-Jewish attendees can understand what's going on.
  

Mike will definitely break the glass.

Probably the best known ritual associated with Jewish weddings comes at the end of the ceremony, when the groom breaks a glass by stepping on it. Interpretations include the ideas that in times of joy, we must be cognizant that life also brings sadness & sorrow; that love, like glass, is fragile & must be protected; and that although the world, too, is broken, we can help make it whole again.

At the breaking of the glass, guests are encouraged to shout "Mazel tov!" which translates to "Good fortune!" but mostly means "Congratulations!" I want to note this in the program or have our officiant explain it to our attendees so everyone knows to chime in. It's such a joyous moment!

We may take a moment for yichud.

Following the ceremony, the couple spends a few moments alone before joining friends & family at the celebration. Yichud (seclusion) is a respite from the strain of being the center of attention for a whole day; it is an island of privacy & peace before the public celebration begins.

Our venue is a bit tricky for this, but I'd like to try. We both get easily overwhelmed, so it would be nice to take a quiet moment together before facing the big, loud, happy reception festivities.

We'll all dance the hora!

This is probably what you think of when you imagine a Jewish wedding: wedding guests hoisting the happy couple up in chairs while everyone dances & sings around them. This is called the hora, usually set to the tune of "Hava Nagila."

I love the hora, & I hope our Jewish guests will take the lead & bring our non-Jewish guests in the fold. It's such a fun tradition, & though I'm not wild about the trying-not-to-falll-off-a-chair part, I'm crazy about the dancing-in-joy part.

Even if you're not a dancer, this is a pretty easy one to learn. Headed to a Jewish wedding (maybe ours) & want to participate in the hora yourself? This animated video from G-dcast will teach you how.

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Have other questions for me about Jewish weddings? I may not be able to answer them, but I'm happy to try (or to direct you appropriately). If you're a Jewish couple or part of an interfaith couple, I'd love to hear which elements of the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony you incorporated into your big day - & how it went, especially if you've got any tips for us!
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10 Things That People Who Work From Home Don't Want You to Say to Them

Monday, November 19, 2012

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  1. "It must be great to wear sweatpants all day."
    Ohhh, you caught me. I wear sweatpants sometimes. OK, a lot of times. In fact, there are many days when I start working as soon as I wake up, then I wear my pajamas until noon & shower on my lunch break. But you know what? Wearing sweatpants all day is not actually great. It makes me feel disgusting, & I work a lot better when I'm wearing real clothes & feeling like a real person. So you'll forgive me if my response to you is that it must be great to have a reason to look nice all day.
  1. "You have time to grab lunch/drink coffee/go on a shopping trip. You work from home!"
    If you want to hang out on my lunch hour, I can probably make that happen    , & I can probably even be flexible with the timing of that lunch hour. But after 45 minutes, I'm gonna have to get back to the office ASAP because I work. And also, just like any person who works, I occasionally find myself too busy to take such a long lunch break. In fact, in general, I probably take fewer & shorter lunch breaks than people who work from offices because it's easy to feel like it's not OK to spend an hour in the middle of the work day sitting on my couch & watching last week's Grey's Anatomy.
  1. "You're so lucky you don't have to commute."
    You're right, & I do feel quite fortunate that I don't have to commute. Because commuting sucks. Then again, you're so lucky that you don't live in your office. Think about it: I am essentially always at work, which means it's damn hard to say, "Sorry, I'm not in the office right now" if a coworker requests something from me – because I'm practically always in my office. So let's call it a draw maybe, OK? 
  1. "I hate my coworkers. It must be so nice not to have any."
    Oooh, this one fries me. If you hate your coworkers so much, I suggest you either find a new job or go into anger management or both. I actually really like my coworkers, & yes, I do have them; we video chat a few times a week & email/IM a few times a minute to ensure that we work well together even while I work from afar. But because I rarely go into the office (it's two hours away), I rarely get the day-to-day interactions with them that make up the typical individual's work experience. I miss them. I miss people. My cat is not exactly a coworker.
  1. "I wish I could watch Netflix while I work!"
    I wish I could interact face-to-face with other people while I work, so we're even.
  1. [Laughing at what time I wake up]
    "Do you know how early I wake up?" people sometimes say to me with judgmental disdain. Yes, I recognize that teachers get up at, like 5am, as does my military boyfriend. And OK: I usually wake up around 8:15am. And yes, sometimes I even wake up at 9am, launching into those in-my-pajamas-until-lunch days. I know that's a blessing, but let's be clear: I never work any less hard, & I'm often awake until 2am doing it. And also, you wouldn't have to commute, either, if you spent the night at your office every night
  1. "Must be nice."
    This one feels like a veiled insult. I only say "must be nice" when I think someone is being a lazy and/or indulgent bastard, basically. "You partied all night & slept until 3pm? Must be nice." "You blew $500 on designer clothes & can still pay rent? Must be nice." This statement insinuates that I am somehow a lazy and/or indulgent bastard just because my work takes place in my home & not in a cubicle, as though a communal office setting is the only plausible way in which a person could ever be efficient or hard-working.
  1. "Wow, your boss must really trust you."
    This one is weird because... yes, of course my boss trusts me. I'm a trustworthy person! Doesn't your boss trust you?! I assume that your boss doesn't look over your shoulder all day from the office; working from home isn't that much different. And because I do social media, much of the work I do is public, for anyone to see & check up on, so it should be fairly evident that I'm not sitting at home all day watching Grey's Anatomy. Except on Netflix while I work, of course.
  1. "I'd love to be able to work from home."
    Sometimes, guys, I'd love to be able to go into an office every day. I dig camaraderie & being able to drop into other people's cubicles to brainstorm & participating in impromptu birthday celebrations & things like that. Working from home is great, but it can also be incredibly lonely. I understand why people think my job is a thing to envy. I feel very fortunate to be able to work from home, to have a flexible schedule, to note commute, etc., etc., but A) there are downsides, too, & B), at the end of the day, it's still work. I wish people could recognize that
  1. "What do you do all day?"
    Oh, this one's easy: I work. A lot. What do you do all day?
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It's A-OK to Step Away

Friday, September 7, 2012

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For 17 months, I worked from home with very few problems. Work/life balance? Easy. I didn’t have any trouble shutting down at 5pm every day – 6, at the very latest – to dedicate my evenings to shopping or reading or writing or cooking or, when he wasn’t underway, spending time with Nathan. With few friends in New Hampshire, I didn’t have any pressing social life to tend to, but I still made sure to allot time for myself. When I left my office & stepped into the rest of my apartment, I stopped working.

And then, in May, I got a new job. Let me be clear: I whole-heartedly love this job & spent four years hoping that I would eventually hold this position. I am happy with this work, with these people, with this organization. I wake up in the morning excited to do my job because it’s that good.

I’m busier, though. And because I like the work even more than before, I find myself working even harder than before, giving even more of myself. I find myself blurring – and in some cases, erasing – that fine line between work and the rest of my life. I don’t have a pressing social life to tend to here, either (yet?), but somehow, that’s translated into my working more. I don't have anything concrete to do or people to be with – so why not keep working? All the time?

I’ve always been a multitasker. As a kid, I never just watched TV; I watched it while writing stories or making scrapbooks or doing crafts. Maybe it was a side effect of being an only child, something in me that felt inclined to turn on the TV while I worked so that it wasn’t quite so quiet. But now – now that I feel like I have so much to do and I want to do it because I like doing it – I find myself with my computer open as I watch TV at night, clacking away at the keyboard as I work, work, work. At my job. At 11:15 p.m. Last night, hopped up on zzzQuil & half asleep, it occurred to me that I’d earlier left a work-related task only halfway completed; I popped my iPhone off the nightstand & finished it up right there in bed, despite the fact that I was so tired I could hardly see. A few nights before that, I sent a very long memo to a handful of coworkers at half past midnight.

I know I'm not unusual, that lots of millennials do this. In fact, I'm convinced that if I don't, I'll fall behind, that I'll be seen as someone who doesn't work as hard as my peers. And I tell myself that I’d rather be this way, that I’d rather work all day long at a casual evening pace than leave myself with so much to do during the workday that I can hardly breathe or think or steady my hands. The stress of having a mile-long to-do list is dizzying, & my anxiety issues are patently not under control these days, so any night when I stop working at 5 (God, have I ever stopped at 5?! Let’s make it 6…) I find myself choking on nerves, so distracted by everything I have to do tomorrow that I can’t focus enough to enjoy tonight.

Needless to say, my work-around-the-clock pace isn’t working. Of course it’s not working. Because no matter how much I like my job, I can’t possibly do it all the time. Can anyone?! And as much as I love it, I don’t want to do it all the time, either. I want to give attention & focus to other things that matter, like relaxation & relationships & & writing & other things that begin with R sounds. I want to have hobbies, make friends, not feel surgically attached to technology.

So I have to remind myself that it’s OK to step away from my job. It’s OK to dedicate time to my writing for fun instead of for work. It’s OK to just watch a movie, not to surf the Internet as I watch it. It’s OK to leave my phone at home or even in the other room, not to take it to the bathroom with me & to respond to emails while I cook dinner. It’s OK to take a nap or play a board game or step away from my computer or, hell, be at my computer doing things that aren’t work.

It’s OK. It's OK. How many times do I have to tell myself this before I start listening to myself?

I think I need a prescription for something...or at the least the name of a really good masseuse.

 
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Summertime & the Livin' Is Easy

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

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Perhaps you haven't noticed that I've been quiet across the blogosphere over the last week, but I have been. My radio silence in the blogging world has been with good reason, though: I'm at summer camp!

You heard me. The organization I work for runs 13 summer camps across the U.S. & Canada, & I have had the honor of working at one of them for the last few days. Suffice it to say that the Internet is not super-reliable in the hills of New York state, but I've still gotten a few tweets in. I'm here to teach, of course, but I still feel very new-kid-on-the-block about being at camp in general. I went to summer camp as a kid, but never to anyplace that felt particularly meaningful; I did day camp with the YMCA & Kent State University, & I did a week of Girl Scout camp, too, which I hated because we actually had to sleep in little tents (too much camping for me!). Here, though, things feel different. It's a leadership camp for teenagers, so all the campers are really enthusiastic & friendly. I suspect that 16-year-old me would've fit in here quite nicely.

Of course, as a camp first-timer, 27-year-old me is having some significant more struggles, but nothing insurmountable. For example, I spent a night imitating Kenny from South Park, sleeping with my hoodie on & my hood up, pulled tight around my face to keep me warm when I couldn't figure out how to turn off my A/C. I was horrified to find a stinkbug inhabiting my fruit bowl. Meals are a gamble, & I've gone hungry a few times because I'm still a picky enough eater that I won't consume about 25% of camp food. But there have been some great moments of clarity, too, & that's why I'm here.

Also: Today a teenage girl asked me, with a great deal of seriousness, "How did you get to a point in your life where you feel comfortable wearing hats?" It is quite possibly my favorite question anyone has ever asked me, particularly because I only recently became comfortable enough to start wearing hats. Even now, I sometimes question my fashion choices, so being vindicated by a 15-year-old felt especially gratifying, somehow - though now that I think about it, she wasn't saying that my hat looked good so much as she was indicating that it was ballsy of me to sport it. Huh...

Anyway. As a self-professed indoor kid, I typically loathe summer. But give me an air-conditioned cabin overlooking a lake & I'm all set. I'm feeling pretty lucky right about now. If this were your view every morning, wouldn't you?

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