Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Actual Ridiculous Questions That I Have Actually Been Asked

Look, I know everyone's really tired of the "Shit ___ Say" videos. I love Katiey's post, "Shit Everyone Says: When A Meme Goes Into Overdrive," which talks about how she, as a single white woman, has said at least three things from, like, every one of these video she's watched - including Shit Guys Say, Shit Asian Girls Say, Shit Baby Mamas Say. Today, I submitted a post of my own to Jewesses With Attitude about how sadly unfunny I find Shit Jewish Girls Say to be. (Has that guy ever met a Jewish woman?)

And then I found Shit Christians Say to Jews, & I fell in love with this meme all over again.





I grew up in a city in Northeast Ohio woefully lacking in diversity. To my knowledge, my mother & I together made up 50% of the Jewish population! With this video as my inspiration, I thought I'd share with you a few things people have actually said to me regarding my Judaism - some of these more than once.
  • "What do you think about the situation in the Middle East?"
  • "Do you only sleep with circumcised guys?"
  • "You don't look Jewish." 
  • "Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
  • "I used to think all Jewish people had horns."
  • "Have you ever seen Schindler's List?"
  • "So do you hate Arabs?"
  • "Do you guys have your own version of the 10 Commandments?"
  • "Jesus was Jewish! So I know he loves you, too."
  • "Wait, but your hair is blond."
  • "I used to work with a Jewish guy! Maybe you know him. David Cohen?"
  • "What is a synagogue?" 
  • "Do you to want to eventually move to Israel?"
  • "I just feel so bad. I don't want you to go to hell."
  • "I love Jews! They're the Chosen People."
  • "So, like, what do Jews have against Jesus?"
  • "You don't have a Jewish last name."
  • "Oh my God, you can't eat bacon, right?!"
  • "Well, your dad wasn't Jewish so you're not, like, a real Jew."
  • "Are you, like, a Jew for Jesus, or the kind of Jew that doesn't believe in him?"
  • "You totally don't have Jewish hair!"
  • "Do you ever miss Christmas?"
  • "My mom said I can't be friends with you because you're going to go to hell."
  • "Are you half-Jewish or full-Jewish?"
  • "I'm a completed Jew. Do you know what that means? It means I've accepted Jesus as my savior."
  • "You're lucky. Seth Rogen is so cute!"
  • "What's the deal with those guys with the curls & the hats?"

For the record, every time someone has told me, "Hey, you don't look Jewish!" I've longed to reply with, "Hey, you don't look ignorant!"
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