Thursday, December 8, 2011

All I Want for Christmas, Round II*

Nathan has already done his Christmas shopping, but in case Santa is real, here's what's on my wish list this holiday season:


  1. Fisheye, Macro, Wide Angle & Telephoto Phone Lenses: So I can feel like a real photographer without shlepping around a gigantron DSLR or learning how to use it (Photojojo, $20-$25 each)
  2. Amazon gift cards: Because my Kindle app makes it that much easier for me to indulge in my love of book-buying
  3. Laura Geller Spackle Tinted Under Make-up Primer in Bronze: I've been making my Birchbox sample last. This stuff makes my life a better place to be. (Macy's, $25) 
  4. Mophie juice pack air™: iOS 5 has murdered my iPhone battery, & because I am entirely co-dependent on my phone, I require a case that will charge it on the go. (Mophie, $79.95)
  5. LUSH bath bombs: These would be a good excuse to take baths. I actually dreamed of them the other night. A sign? (LUSH, $4.70-$7.75 each)
  6. A flight back to Ohio: Because damn it, it's been six months, which is the longest I've ever been away
  7. Cable-knit slipper booties: Cozy, warm, cute, functional. I approve. (GAP, $39.95) 
  8. Seasons 6 - 11 of Seventh Heaven: This is the most embarrassing thing I have ever put on a public wishlist. (Amazon, prices vary)
  9. An external hard drive: Which I can't link to because I don't know anything about them except that I should have one
  10. Lancome Juicy Tubes: Because I have become the sort of cheap bastard who only purchases Carmex (Lancome, $18 each)
  11. KIND bars: The most delicious breakfast bars ever, & Men's Health tells me they're the healthiest, too. (KIND, prices vary) 
  12. Blinc Mascara in Dark Brown: Again, I'm livin' on a dwindling Birchbox sample, but I can't bring myself to spend $25 on mascara, no matter how much I love it. Which is a lot. (Blinc, $25)
  13. Bumble & Bumble Creme De Coco Shampoo: Best shampoo in the world? Yes. Too expensive for me to afford regularly? That, too. (Amazon, $18.90-$40)
  14. For Nathan to be restationed to Boston this spring: He submitted a request for his top five billets, & Boston is the only available place we have any real interest in going. I don't know when we learn where we're headed next, but I freak out about it every day.
  15. Ohio "The Heart of It All" Place I Love Print: This is self-explanatory, right? You know me. (Mandipidy, $18)
  16. World peace: Still. Because I may be materialistic, but I'm not shallow.
*Round I, published last year, can be found here. Yes, I have asked for shampoo two years in a row.

What Your Favorite Christmas Song Says About You

  1. "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" (from the movie)
    Though you're too old for both of them, you like rhymes & cartoons (but hopefully not the version where Jim Carrey is green & furry). Despite your rhyming genius, you have a limited vocabulary, rhyming "nasty" with "wasty," & you likely believe that "arsenic sauce" is a spicier version of Tabasco. 

  2. "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" (by Brenda Lee)
    You are inventive & dancy, & you long to host boisterous holiday parties attended by cardboard cut-outs of Michael Jordan.

  3. "Blue Christmas" (by Elvis Presley)
    You are depressing. No, seriously. I mean, maybe you also just really like classic rock, but, dude, this song is a bummer. My apologies to you & the King.

  4. "Frosty the Snowman" (by Gene Autry)
    Slightly delusional, you're known for muttering to yourself & carrying on conversations with stray cats & trying to get Parson Brown to marry you before he melts. Errr, "while he's in town."

  5. "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" (by Elmo and Patsy)
    You enjoy whoopee cushions & plastic poop &, look, I'm just going to give it to you straight: You're the relative everyone wishes they didn't have to invite to Christmas dinner.

  6. "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (by Band Aid)
    You like to think of yourself as a big-hearted philanthropist, but face it: You are also religiously intolerant. This song is possibly the most ignorant display of multi-religious denominationalism on holiday rotation, masked by lyrics of hope & help. No, they don't know it's Christmas because they're not Christian.

  7. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" (by any duo ever)
    "Say what's in this drink?" GHB. You assault women in your spare time, but only under the cover of poor weather conditions.

  8. "Carol of the Bells"(by people who hate me)
    A Christmas purist, you may also be a cast member of Home Alone and/or a criminal. This song sounds like mayhem & evil & Manheim Steamroller & sometimes appears in my most dramatic of nightmares.

  9. "All I Want for Christmas Is You" (by Mariah Carey)
    The other kind of Christmas purist, you are likely a former teenybopper now in your mid- to late-20s who feels strongly that Mariah Carey's Christmas classic is the reigning holiday pop song - heck, the only holiday pop song. Jessica Simpson who? If, however, your favorite is the newly released Mariah Carey-hitting-on-underage-Justin-Bieber version, there are two other options: A) You're 12, or B) You're a pervert.

  10. "Last Christmas" (by Wham!)
    You're me.*

    *ONLY THE WHAM VERSION COUNTS.
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