boxing
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If We Were Catching Up Over Coffee...

Monday, October 30, 2023

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If we were catching up over coffee, I'd probably still be drinking an iced coffee, even though it's finally gotten chilly. I thiiink I might be one of those people who drinks iced coffee year-round now?
 
If we were catching up over coffee, I probably wouldn't seem as outgoing or chipper as I usually do. I would only go into it if you asked, though, and even then, with caution. I recently deleted my social media apps for a bit because the Israel/Gaza war has been weighing so heavily on me. Things feel really bad right now, and I'm scared, and it's affecting literally everything.
 

 
If we were catching up over coffee, you might ask me how the adoption process is going, and I'd do my best to update you without inundating you. It's long and slow and arduous and honestly kind of heart-breaking because we just want to be able to become parents but can't rush the process. We are in with two adoption agencies and applying to a few others, and we're just trying to continue to believe that it will happen when the time is right.
  
If we were catching up over coffee, I'd try to change the topic by telling you about some of the fun things I've been up to lately. I saw both The Jonas Brothers and The Eagles recently (I am a woman of many interests!), and I "graduated" from my boxing program but am still going to classes. One of my best friends recently moved down the street, and I also just went to a two-day work retreat, where I got to see my remote colleagues in person. 
  

  
If we were catching up over coffee, I might nervously reveal to you that I have been struggling with body image and self-esteem lately, which is, I guess, nothing new, but that doesn't mean it's not still difficult to deal with. I've gained a little more weight, yet again, and I just can't seem to stick to any sort of healthy eating regimen or shake the extra weight even when I do. (Halloween candy isn't helping.)
 
If we were catching up over coffee, I'd tell you about how I convinced Mike that we should go as Harry and Marv from Home Alone for Halloween. Though he initially felt that I was doing too much in the pursuit of the perfect costumes, I feel that you can never do enough when it comes to Halloween. People really enjoyed our costumes and most importantly, we loved them, which made for a very fun holiday party with friends.
  


If we were catching up over coffee, I'd tell you that I miss blogging and that I worry that I'm never really coming back to this space. I want to, I mean to, I intend to, but then it always falls by the wayside. I wrote all day every day for my job, and I've been doing a ton of freelance writing, and I'm so grateful for all of it, but it means I don't want to keep sitting at a computer and writing when the day is done.

Speaking of writing, if we were catching up over coffee, I might have to leave early to go work on some freelance projects. I'd share how lucky I feel to be overwhelmed with the work, which is something I literally attempted to manifest (do I believe in manifesting? I dunno), but now here it is... overwhelming and overloading me on a regular basis. What a blessing! What a stressor!
 
Relatedly, did I write this blog post instead of meeting two fast-approaching deadlines? Yes. Yes, I sure did.
  
Guess that's the end of this coffee date. How are you?

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A Letter to My Boxing Friends

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

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A letter to you, my PGB friends,

I’ve never done very well in groups. I was in a sorority in college, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I’ve never felt more out of place, more alienated, more unworthy of friendship. And even though I’ve successfully been a part of multiple friend groups since then, that experience has always stuck with me. It’s become a deep and inextricable part of the story that I tell myself about myself, like it’s a fact — I have brown hair, I have a loud voice, and I don’t do very well in groups.

This year, though, had been the year that I’ve started rewriting that part of my story — and so much of it is thanks to you, the women in this room and the others who have been here throughout the year, even briefly and in passing. Every single person and every single interaction in this gym and on GroupMe and during our social events has taught me not only about all of you but also about myself. 

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I'm a Boxer Now, I Guess?

Friday, May 27, 2022

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On a whim one day in March, I joined my friend Erin at a free boxing class. I thought it was just a class, but it was actually a demo day leading up to the start of a 10-week session. I had absolutely no intention of starting 10 weeks of anything, much less boxing... but I left that hour-long class ready to try. I registered the next day.

Let me be clear: I am not particularly good at boxing, even now, seven weeks into the session. But I feel a lot like I did when I first discovered cycling classes (the first time I decided that I loved it, not the actual first time, when when I almost vomited & then cried). I feel like my body is doing something, & it's exciting, especially at a time when I am struggling so much with weight gain & body image.
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