Monday, April 25, 2011

"There is a land called Passive Aggressiva & I am their queen."

I've had some awesome apartment living experiences in the past, & by "awesome" I mean "the opposite of awesome." The most notable incident that comes to mind is the time I asked my neighbors to stop having such appallingly loud sex, & there's also that damn dog down the hall, which, I should note, has begun barking much less frequently following our complaint to the landlords.

But as my friend Sarah noted,


Oh, indeed. After waiting patiently as neighbors did their laundry - even getting shut out a few times when I didn't make it to the laundry room in the small window of time before someone else beat me to it - I filled both washers with dirties. When I returned to the laundry room at the end of the cycle, I discovered that the dryers still had 10 minutes left on someone else's cycle. But another neighbor, too impatient to wait the 1/6 of an hour for me to move my clothes into an available dryer, did this:


In my humble & neighborly opinion, this is one of the crummiest things a fellow apartment-dweller could do. Whatever happened to "Love thy neighbor"? Or even "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor his washing machine, nor anything that is your neighbor's"?

In his or her haste to launder, this person clearly failed to realize that (s)he was still going to have to wait for me to dry my clothes, so I put a little Post-It note on my the washer as a reminder:


ZOOM:

Except then I chickened out & took it off. I mean, what if I accidentally bumped into this individual during the course of my laundering? I'm notoriously awful with face-to-face confrontations (for proof, please refer back to the first link in this post). So instead, I plotted a more subtle revenge: I doubled my drying time from 45 minutes to 90 minutes.

Shortly after this silent exchange, I lost my brand new laundry card, perhaps as a karmic reminder that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, or some shiz. All I know is that there are 21 minutes left on my dry cycle, & my neighbor's clothes are still marinating in their own dampness. So it seems like I win.
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