I Bought WHAT?

Monday, April 11, 2011

Something I do very rarely is clean out my wallet. I save receipts like technology doesn't exist, & then I never do a damn thing with them. Case in point is the receipt below, which I recently discovered lurking in the dusty corners of my wallet:

Wait, let's take a closer look. SAY WHAT?

Things I could've purchased that would've shown up on a receipt with this heading include:
  • A disco ball
  • A KC & the Sunshine Band album
  • Some sort of '80s or Beyonce-themed workout tape
Do you know which of these things I bought at the Hudson News in Penn Station? If you guessed "none of the above," you're correct. Unfortunately, I can come up with no thoughts on what I actually purchased.

But that's not all! Let's take an even closer look:

Yeah, now I'm really confused. Based on this, it seems I purchased a few old women - and what a deal I got on them! How I managed to fit them in my small, roll-on suitcase, I cannot say. But elderly ladies are usually small & hunched, right? So I bet it wasn't too tough for them. The only question is, where are they now?! I seem to have misplaced my four elderly ladies....

And just for good measure, a bonus buy:

It seems I was imbibing, too! Maybe that's why I can't remember what I bought...

30 comments:

  1. LOL do you know what those things really are??

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  2. Hahaha! I've never came across anything like this before on my receipts. Now you really got me wondering what you really purchased! ;)

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  3. Maybe you bought some funny greeting cards? That's my guess!

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  4. Hahaha, this is possibly the best receipt ever, you should keep it and frame it. then, maybe one day, it will all come back to you, and will no longer be a mystery.

    I have a habit of keeping every receipt I get for some unknown reason, too.

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  5. haaaaaaaahaha, Oh New York....

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  6. Hahahah. How they decide to name things in a system is hilarious. Someone was having a happy day when they did that!

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  7. I returned my then-8-year-old kid's library books about a year ago and noticed on the return ticket:
    1. Junie B. Jones (perfectly acceptable for her age group)
    2. How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson

    I'm pretty sure my kid DID NOT borrow #2. And they had the nerve to try to charge me a late fee. HA! I already rail like a porn star - I don't need instructions!

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  8. This is great. I'm even googling them, too, trying to figure out what the crap that means.

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  9. OK, I might have typed in the number corresponding to "Shake your booty." Google suggested I try the UPC Database. I might have created an account. That UPC number isn't in there, but similar ones are. They suggest to me that "Shake your booty" is a greeting card. What's the date on the receipt? Can you figure out which friend has a bday/anniversary/something near it? I bet Old Ladies on a Bus is a card, too. Didn't you once blog about wanting to send snail mail more???

    OK, now that I've sufficiently creeped you out ...

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  10. The UPC site thinks that shooter NYC thing is a snow globe.

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  11. Ha! You're a genius! I bet I DID buy birthday cards there - it seems everyone I know has an April birthday. And I bought Nathan a snowglobe, too, a quick souvenir before I headed home. Mystery solved!

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  12. ((bows)) I'm glad my I WILL FIGURE THIS OUT'ness didn't creep you out.

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  13. LOL. I love how Jaclyn looked it up! It really satisfies my curiosity. :)

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  14. Why do my comments keep disappearing from your blog?! I left you a comment yesterday and suggested they were greeting cards!

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  15. Where do you keep your 4 elderly ladies on a benc? ;)

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  16. awesome! happens to me all the time. unfortunately. otherwise i might actually have savings *sigh*

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  17. What a crazy receipt nomenclature! What gives?

    I'll take two of those four old ladies off your hands for 2 bucks.

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  18. I love this post! I feel you on the crazy wallet. I just cleaned mine out yesterday and it was not pretty.

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  19. This is hysterical. I'm surprised that shopping trip wasn't more memorable!

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  20. HA. This made me laugh right out loud.

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  21. The first thing I did when I went to Penn station for the first time was bought stuff at the Hudson News. I don't remember what I bought but, I wish I still had my receipt...maybe I bought something like "old men rollerblading" or (hopefully) some "shake your booty" because that sounds awesome.

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  22. Hahaha, that is awesome!

    I used to do the same thing, collect receipts but never balance. THAT'S WHAT ONLINE BANKING IS FOR.

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  23. When I first opened this post, my eyes went straight for the "4 elderly ladies" and I thought...what?! They're on sale this time of year?! <-- Just kidding. Hahaha!

    Seriously though, you should definitely frame this receipt. It's hilarious!

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  24. Oh god. I thought I was the only person who kept receipts for no real reason. This is a weird (but totally funny) one. haha

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  25. Holy Moses ... this is hilarious. I once found a receipt from Target that showed the purchase of "Four Bermuda Shorts" and I was like, WTH!? I went into the store and ripped the Target employee a new one for charging me for something I would *never* buy (I haven't worn shorts since 10th grade), and that I would never buy for my husband (He buys his own shorts, what do I know?). They even checked the security camera and said I purchased it. I stormed out yelling "I'll never shop here again!" And then? As I walked to the car ... I realized it was bike shorts I'd purchased ... because I wear them under my skirts in the summer. Wow. I'm a douche.

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  26. Those poor old ladies. I bet they're wandering around somewhere, all itty bitty, like those little blind mice from the Shrek movies. They're probably scared and hungry, wherever they are.

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  27. lol shake your booty one is way too funny!!!
    :D

    xoxo
    yvonne from www.simplyvonne.blogspot.com

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