That first glorious day of pasta sauce discoveries, I didn't fully explore the joy of Paul Newman's legacy, the other half of which lies in the salad-dressing-slash-salsa aisle. (Why all condiments are not stocked in the same aisle together is beyond me. This seems to be common sense 101, but apparently 100% of grocery store managers disagree on this point.) In recent trips to the supermarket, though, I found some previously undiscovered gems that I couldn't resist reporting on here.
For starters, as if you're surprised, the Tequila Lima Salsa version of illustrated Paul Newman is wearing a giant sombrero, as all Mexicans do. Obviously. But don't worry. Lest you think there was some all-Mexicans-drink-copious-amounts-of-tequila joke hidden in there, the Farmer's Garden Salsa version of illustrated Paul Newman is also wearing a sombrero, evening the sombrero score. This indicates either that all farmers are Mexican or that all Mexicans are farmers or a Venn Diagram representing some combination of those two options.
I struggled with which photo to show you next, only because they other two are equal levels of awesome. Rather than just dropping an ivy crown atop the head of the Creamy Caesar version of illustrated Paul Newman, which would have been apropos but not all that shockingly creative, the good folks at Newman's Own took it a step further & actually turned their founder into a statue. Well-played, design team, & bonus points for Romanesque creativity.
And now for my favorite. Here, Newman's Own strays from stereotypes & instead goes the Halloween costume route, confirming once & for all that the late Mr. Newman, may he rest in peace, was, indeed, the bee's knees.
I can't get enough of these. Who would've thought that Cool Hand Luke himself could make me wish I liked condiments?