Midwesty stuff
Showing posts with label Midwesty stuff. Show all posts

Adventures in Beach-Combing on Lake Erie

Saturday, July 25, 2020

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My mom & I started beach-combing entirely by accident. We were walking together along the beach in Port Clinton when she asked, "Have you ever found beach glass?" 

"No," I told her, "but apparently there's a ton of it in Lake Erie."

I knew from reading The Dainty Squid & just doing some general research into beach-combing that Lake Erie is the source of a veritable bounty of beach glass, more so than the other Great Lakes. It's shallower & therefore rockier, which means the waves tumble & smooth the glass within - glass that comes from the lake's 2,000+ shipwrecks (yes, shipwrecks!) as well as from litter from boaters, Put-In-Bay partiers, etc. 

Lots of beer bottles turned into treasure! 
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So Long, Sweet Summer: 18 of the Best Things I Did Before the Official Return of Autumn

Thursday, October 1, 2015

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Truly, I can't remember a better summer - not since I was a kid, at least, when there was nothing to do but swim at the lake & ride bikes with my best friend, day after day for months. Now that it's October, I suppose I have to concede that summer is officially over, despite the fact that it's still, like, 80 degrees outside & I can't wear sweaters yet. With the turn of the calendar page, I thought I'd take a minute to pay tribute to this summer - the summer I became a Clevelander, the best summer in recent memory & maybe of my entire life.

This summer, I...
  1. Had a blast at the Cleveland Flea: My biggest summer regret is that we only made it to the Flea one measly (but great) time. I would go every weekend if it were an option! Described as "part urban treasure hunt, part culinary adventure, part maker center," the Flea is a roving weekend event full of all the CLE's coolest things, from food & booze to art & crafts to vintage goods & live music. I'm hoping to make it to the October Flea so I can get my final fix before they end for the year.  
  1. Consumed a ton of brunch: I've started plowing through my mental list of places to eat my favorite meal. So far, I've been to The Black Pig, Grumpy's, Lucky's... but I've gotten hung up on my new favorite, Prosperity Social Club, which I can't stop going back to. I guess I have a weak spot for any place that can rock perfect pierogis and delicious breakfast empanadas. 
  1. Toured Great Lakes Brewery: GLB is Cleveland's favorite brewery, & I was excited to finally see it behind the scenes. More than anything, I was impressed by the brand's commitment to environmental sustainability & bettering the local community - & by the taste of the four beer samples, obviously.  
  1. Celebrated a Browns win at a dive bar: We watched the first Browns game of the season at Booth's, a divey sports bar where the bartenders know my boyfriend by name. Whenever (if ever) they win, the owner jumps on the bar & pours Fireball into the mouths of fans who clamor around like baby birds... while the rest of the bar sings the name of former QB Brian Hoyer over & over to the tune of Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah."
  1. Explored the Ohio City Street Festival: In celebration of one of Cleveland's coolest neighborhoods, we made sure to grab lunch from the Cleveland Bagel Co., which doesn't have a brick & mortar shop (so we're always thrilled to find their booth at local events). I opted for a sesame seed bagel with bacon/date schmear, & I was nottt disappointed.
  1. Developed feelings for Cincinnati: My mom & I headed to the Queen City to celebrate the Fourth of July with family. I'd always considered Cincinnati to be basically Kentucky, but I was surprisingly impressed by the newly revamped waterfront area. I didn't make it back this summer as planned, but I'd love to head down again in the spring.
  1. Partied at the Cleveland Ale Fest: This event took place a few steps away from my apartment... a few days before I moved in. Damn! It was a great time regardless (we took an Uber home) & was a turning point in my adult life: I typically only like cheap, disreputable beer, but on this wondrous day, I discovered half a dozen beers I really liked. Also, I ate a hot dog topped with pretzels.
  1. Made my first trip to Browns Stadium: It wasn't for a Browns game, it was for... a One Direction concert. And it cost me a not-insignificant amount of money. And I am 31. But you know what? It was a great time & worth (almost) every penny. 
  1. Relaxed in California: Mike & I traveled to Redondo Beach for the wedding of one of my very best friends, & then we spent a couple nights in an AirBnB just enjoying the views, eating In-N-Out, & reading books in the sun. It was, in a word, glorious.
  1. Got stuck in a monsoon at a food truck festival: This was also the first time my boyfriend met my friends, so... great first impressions all around.The tacos, at least, were wonderful!
  1. Gorged ourselves at Night Market Cleveland: Described as "farmer's market meets flea market meets food festival meets concert," this fest was bursting with all kinds of Asian food - pho & grilled octopus & samosas & pad Thai & pork buns - plus music, parades, & kitschy booths. Unlike at other events, most of the food booths were very subtly labeled & thus didn't feel like advertisements for the restaurants behind them. It was just food, food, food - tons of it. We were already drunk when we arrived, so we were prepared to stuff our faces. 
  1. Went camping for the first time in ages: I had not been camping since I was 7 years old, & I am prone to anxiety attacks, which means that this was sort of terrifying. Ultimately, though, it was a pretty stellar time.  Spoiler alert: I did not die.
  1. Went on vacation with my mom: We traveled to Hilton Head, S.C., site of all my childhood vacations, & stayed in a beach house where I haven't been since I was about 12 years old. I didn't take the week of work, so there wasn't much beaching for me, but it was enough just to be there, spending time with my mom & relaxing.
  1. Enjoyed a townie carnival: My hometown hosted a strange little carnival in the parking lot of a local shopping plaza. I ate a corndog & danced to a lot of Taylor Swift & did not ride any rides because I don't have a death wish. It ended in fireworks, my favorite thing.
  1. Got classy at the MIX at CMA: On the first Friday of each month, the Cleveland Museum of Art hosts an event to celebrate art, each differently themed. The theme of the July event was "Fusion," headlined by Brooklyn band Red Baraat, which combines New Orleans-style jazz, Punjabi Bhangra music, go-go, & hip-hop. So... yeah, fusion. We got dressed up, drank some too-expensive beers, & people-watched on the patio of the art museum for a couple hours.
 
  1. Found some farmers markets: There's one right across the street from my apartment every Tuesday afternoon. So far, I'm obsessed with buying tiny tomatoes, peanut butter bread, & pineapple salsa from a man who goes by the name "Cowboy George."
  1. Watched the sun set from Lakewood Park: Mike's roommate is a but of a sunset junkie, so when he & his girlfriend invited us to join them to watch from one of the best views in the city, we took them up on it. It was gorgeous, romantic, & took way longer than we had budgeted for the evening.
  1. Fell in love: Need I say more? This summer was good to me.
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Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

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I spent 11 days in Ohio. Like, a week & a half. ELEVEN WHOLE DAYS. It was... a lot. Before I left, I thought, "There's no way I can handle 11 days away. That's an eternity." And in some ways, it was, because 11 days is a really long time. It's a long time to live out of a suitcase, a long time to live at my mom's house, a long time to be away from my apartment & all of my belongings, a long time to be "on" for visits with friends & family.

But it was perfect.

The impetus for the trip was to attend the wedding of one of my favorite couples, Sean & Kristen. During their outdoor nuptials & day-long reception at an adorable, picturesque Ohio farmstead, I caught up with many of my favorite individuals & tried not to sweat to death. We joked that everyone had at least two exes in attendance, & yet somehow, everyone got along smashingly because that's how small-town friendships work. I was honored to be present to celebrate this couple & their love for one another, & I always appreciate an open bar populated by so many people I like.



Speaking of people I like, I also spent a lot of time hanging out with my mama & petting her tiny, excitable dogs, who look like twins.

 

As always, I ate at all my favorite places - sometimes healthy but oftentimes not, because vacation & also because oops. I went to four of those favorite places two times apiece, with a bunch of others peppered in to spice it up. Rockne's! Melt! Happy Dog! Clogged arteries & dying happy! Instagramming photos of my food!


And for better or worse, I basically never said no to dessert, including tiny donuts, Graeter's Buckeye Blitz ice cream, a pistachio macaron, & crème brûlée cheesecake. And yes, I'm planning to eschew cabs & public transportation for awhile in favor of walking everywhere for the next... forever. Just as soon as it stops raining.


But it wasn't all food & booze, I swear. I also took in all the sites I love & saw some new ones, too, in the three Big C's - Cleveland, Columbus, Cuyahoga Falls. And while I know my hometown isn't exactly "big," Cincinnati sucks & home is where the heart is, et cetera.


My friend Lindsey even took me to Cleveland for a day, where we started with a visit to Sweet Lorain, a massive vintage superstore. Every three steps or so, I shouted some excitable phrase, like, "Oh my God, look at this!" & snapped a photo of something colorful &/or absurd. Not recommended for people who are easily distracted by shiny objects.

 
 

Speaking of shiny objects, we were easily distracted by nearly everything we found at a massive toy store called Big Fun, including meat tattoos & animal masks & wax lips & finger puppets & a drawer full of Pogs straight outta the '90s.


Of course, I saw lots of other favorite people, too, & made all of them take photos with me for the sake of vanity & posterity.

 

I got back to D.C. exhausted & exhilarated & a little bit sad to leave the Buckeye State behind. And yes, I wrote this post almost solely to show off all my wonderful photos, so I apologize for the total lack of interesting substance. This was the longest trip I'd taken to Ohio since 2011, & I spent each one of those 11 days feeling fortunate to come from such a wonderful place still filled with such wonderful people who always show me a, well, wonderful time. 

I've always mentally adapted the lyrics to that old Hawthorne Heights song, & this visit only reinforced it: I can make it on my own, but part of my heart will probably always be in Ohio.
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Lazy & Happy in the Windy City

Saturday, September 1, 2012

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Two weeks ago (!) I visited Chicago for a family wedding. Though I'd been there twice before - once in high school & once just last summer - I'd never really done much exploring. Deciding I'd take a couple days off work & visit a few friends in the area, I extended my trip by two days & made absolutely zero plans. Catch that? Zero plans. If this blog has taught you anything at all me, it should be that I am a person who plans & that the act of not planning is a terrifyingly anxiety-inducing thing for me. And yet...

Things I didn't do in Chicago:
  • See the Bean, the Sears Tower, Navy Pier, Shedd Aquarium, or any other Chicago icons
  • Take any tours, ride any double-decker buses or Duck Boats, or visit any museums
  • Spend a dime of my money shopping on the famed & alluring Magnificent Mile
  • Watch the Air & Water Show, which was taking place at the park across the street from my hotel
  • Eat at Grahamwich, the lunch joint owned by reality TV chef Graham Elliot, or any other well-known Chicagoland restaurants

Things I did in Chicago:
  • Attend the beautiful wedding ceremony & very fun wedding reception of my third cousin while catching up with my mother, aunt, uncle, first cousins (to the right) & other sundry relatives & family friends
  • Waste a day luxuriating in my hotel room instead of doing, well, anything
  • Visit a dear friend from my time in D.C. who has been confined to Northwestern Memorial Hospital for six months
  • Meet a childhood friend for lunch, accompanied by my mother, to discuss our adult lives & our upcoming high school reunion (more on this later)
  • Have both dinner & breakfast with one of my closest friends from Ohio who now lives in Chi, giving us a lot of time to catch up, eat tater tot nachos, & tweet snarky things
  • Meet two blog friends for the first time IRL, one for pasta dinner & another for impromptu tea, & get murdered/abducted by neither
  • Spend a lot of time alone at coffee shops working on my iPad & enjoying the city atmosphere
  • Have a meaningful life conversation with my younger cousin over lunch before she moves to London for the next 18 months
  • Eat alone at a TGIFriday's when I found Grahamwich to be closed, which was basically the saddest & most embarrassing thing ever
  • Take a total of three photographs

I once said that I far prefer to travel to people rather than to places, meaning that I'd always rather expend my travel energy by focus on spending time with friends. Though there's plenty to see in Chicago, I think I held true to that preference during this visit, as evidenced by the fact that I saw at least a dozen people I adore (a few pictured below) & precisely zero monuments, museums, or famous stuff. I also had a lot of alone time. And you know what? It was kind of perfect. Keep yer Duck Tours & marathon shopping sprees. I'll be napping in my hotel bed & reading a book in the park.

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Talking Midwest in the Middle East

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

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I'm washing my hands in the sink of a billiards bar called Cafe Noga, which feels like the sort of joint you'd find in my beloved Midwest, not in Tel Aviv. I'm marveling at Israel's bizarre unisex bathroom trend & the many ways it manifests itself in establishments throughout the country. In this particular bar, the bathrooms are divided, men & women, but the two sides share one sink - literally, the sink bowl sits beneath a dividing wall, so if a man were to wash his hands at the same time as me, we wouldn't be able to see one another's faces, but we'd have to make way for one another's hands.

I've finished washing my hands (alone) & am reapplying my red lipstick when an Israeli girl makes her way up to the sink alongside me. She is tall & thin & beautiful, the way so many Israelis are. Smiling broadly & gesturing toward the sink with one eyebrow raised, she rattles off something in her native tongue. I can't understand the words, but I know what she's asked anyway: "How do I turn this damn thing on?" I turn the faucet on for her, shrug in a sort of apology, & in my clunky Hebrew say, "Ani lo medaber ivrit," I don't speak Hebrew.

Her face lights up & she switches languages with an ease I can only dream of: "English?" she asks me, & I tell her yes, so she continues. Am I here with Birthright? (Yes) Am I from the US? (Yes) Where am I from? I live near Boston, I tell her, because Boston is a city foreigners have heard of, whereas Portsmouth, New Hampshire, is most certainly not. "Were you born there?" she wants to know, & I tell her no, I was born in Ohio. Questions like this aren't uncommon from Israelis. 

"Ohio!" she practically shouts, her grin taking over her face. "It's like the movies!"

I'm confused. Say what?! She puts a hand on my arm. "Ohio!" she repeats. "It's like... so America." When I ask her whether she's ever been to the US, she laughs: "Yes! To Los Angeles & New York City & Disney World. But never to the middle. That's like... Ohio is like a place you only see in movies!"

She's so happy about Ohio & meeting a native Ohioan that I don't dream of telling her how most of the country feels about "the flyover states," a term I truly loathe. I find myself silently thanking Sarah Palin & wondering whether her 2007 message of "real America" hasn't proven moderately useful abroad. My smile matches hers as I think fondly of my hometown, thousands of miles away across the ocean.

Ohio! It's like... so America.

Photo
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Typical Midwesterners: A Guide (Pt. 1)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

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One of my favorite quotes is from the notoriously creepy yet talented actor John Malkovich, who once said, "I'm very much a typical Midwesterner, and I don't think the condition is curable." Amen, John. Me, too.

But what is a "typical Midwesterner"? What characteristics make someone so Midwesty that they can never be cured? For one thing, I should note that I have no interest in curing my Midwestiness - but if I were looking to downplay my roots, where would I start? I spent last Saturday with a New Hampshire-born friend who's lived in Boston for the better part of the last decade, & our conversations about the many differences between our native lands got to thinking about what makes me so distinctly not from any other part of the country.  

I've come up with a few things, & I know there are about a million more. This is a part one of an ongoing list. I welcome your additions & insight.
  1. To Be or Not To Be?
    My D.C. coworkers had a field day making fun of me when I once told them, "This document needs edited." Apparently that is not acceptable - and even I, with all my grammatical superiority, had no idea. I say things like, "The lawn needs mowed" and "The dog needs walked" all the time, a turn of grammatically incorrect phrase that is unique to the Midwest and maybe even to Ohio. In fact, when I applied for a job at the University of Akron, I spotted this "error" multiple times within the job description & application. I'm told that if you omit "to be," you have to turn the word into a gerund, for example, "The dog needs walking." I write this way, but I would never, ever speak this way.

  2. At the Drive-In
    Everyone's heard of drive-in movie theaters, which have mostly fallen by the wayside with the progression of, you know, it not being the 1950s anymore. But do you have beer drive-throughs where you're from? I'm told this is a strictly Midwestern phenomenon, but it's one I sure do like. Stay in your car & drive through the little tunnel attached to some gas stations, where an attendant will come out & take your order, then round up whatever it is you're looking for - a case of Miller Lite (see #5 on this list), Cheetos, gummy bears... Bringing a whole new meaning to "fast food" & a whole new level of convenience to small-town potheads.

  3. Eatin' Good Better in the Neighborhood
    When I first moved to D.C., my meals of choice included spaghetti, chicken fingers & mozzarella sticks. Yes, at age 23, I boasted the palate of a very picky third grader. Can you blame me? Though it seems to have improved as of late, the suburbs of the Midwest aren't exactly known for their culinary prowess. Growing up, my go-to restaurants included Applebee’s, Olive Garden, Damon's & the late Bennigan's (R.I.P.), which didn't allow for a great deal of palate expansion. It's only now, four years later, that I can claim to like Thai food, sushi, even - gasp! - Indian food without feeling like an imposter. I now make a concerted effort to eat at locally owned restaurants when back in the OH, but sometimes the Midwesterner in me just wants an Applebee's quesadilla, no shame.

  4. Stranger Danger
    I'll never forget the first time I visited New York City. At age 11, I was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, & so suburban that I thought pigeons were pretty. (See also: IDIOT.) While touring the city with a friend who was a New York native, she caught me smiling at a passerby. "Did you just smile at a stranger?" she yelped. "Never smile as a stranger here. Do you hear me? Seriously, never." To this day, this is a piece of advice that I still follow... except when I'm in the Midwest, when smiling is still my favorite.

  5. Real Midwesterners of Genius
    Let me be clear: Everywhere else in the country is not the Home of the Original Lite Beer. Beer drinkers only tap the Rockies at backyards bonfires & bars with $1 drafts, which I should note, don't seem to exist in non-Midwestern cities. As a Midwesterner trying to adapt to a foreign (read: non-Midwest) city, you must drop all sentimental attachments to watered-down brew & develop an affinity for a more respectable drink of choice. If this means you must become a liquor lover, so be it, but you may not order a lite beer in good conscience on either Coast - and by “may not,” I mean “must not, if you want to keep your dignity.” Safe bets include Yuengling, Stella or Sam Adams, or only frequenting hipsteresque bars that serve PBR in a can so that you can get away with being a Midwesterner everywhere - & even looking kind of cool for it.
So tell me: What makes your home region unique? And are you jealous of our beer drive-ins? And how did this list end up being so beer-centric...?
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    The Midwest: Setting the Bar High

    Sunday, November 14, 2010

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    My mom & I headed to a local bar last night, one that's located a whopping .9 miles away from our home. The occasion? My best friend's dad's band was playing, & we wanted to show our support. As a bonus, my best friend & her husband were in town from Tennessee, though I wish it had been for a better reason than a death in the family.

    Let me tell you a bit about said bar & my experience at it:

    • It is approximately the size of a large walk-in closet.

    • It's been there for decades, but prior to last night, I didn't think I knew a single person who'd ever been there.

    • It used to be another old bar, one that frequently sent well-wishes to bar regulars by putting things like "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RHONDA!" & "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ED & BEATRICE!" on its front sign... & leaving them there for months at a time.

    • It appears to be popular with drunken folks of parental age, particularly those who enjoy dancing.

    • The men's restroom is not labeled, which led me to believe it was a unisex restroom, which led to some embarrassment when another patron asked me in a patient yet condescending voice, "Are you looking for the women's restroom?" This was, of course, after I'd already used the men's.

    • Also, there was this:

      In case you can't see it in the lack of light, that's a walker. Atop an empty table. In a bar.

    • Finally - & perhaps most importantly - the bar is also home to a food cart called The Purple People Eatery, where the menu options include "walking tacos" (no idea) & "chicken sandwhiches" (spelled that way). I, however, wanted to be a little adventurous, so I ordered... wait for it... a taco dog. What, you ask, is a taco dog? Well, duh, it's a hot dog topped with taco fixins, including ground beef, shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese & diced tomatoes. Of course. Lucky for me, it did not look like this:

      But, I am only mildly ashamed to admit, it did taste delicious.

    Ohhhh, Ohio. You've got me.
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