Adventures in Failed Attempts at Domesticity

I found this in my refrigerator today, hidden behind the orange juice & the ranch dressing:

First thought: DEAD MOUSE, HOW DID IT GET HERE, WTF, I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN. (You should know that I Googled photos of dead mice to include here for comparison, but I decided that was a little sick. I mean, you see the obvious resemblance here, right?)

Second thought: OK, kiddo, cool it. That is clearly some sort of shriveled vegetable.

There are, of course, still serious questions yet to be addressed: What sort of vegetable was stuck in the door of my fridge? And for how long? And... oh, God, someone come throw it away for me, please.