Monday, August 18, 2008

Cinematic Schizophrenia

Based on Netflix's list of the top 25 most popular rentals in the Washington, D.C. area, I LIVE IN THE MOST BORING CITY ON THE PLANET. They are as follows:
1. The War Room
2. All the President's Men
3. K Street: The Complete Series
4. L'Auberge Espagnole
5. The Syrian Bride
6. The Candidate
7. Gilmore Girls: Season 3
8. The Boys of Baraka
9. 2046
10. Paradise Now
11. Russian Dolls
12. Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?
13. The Manchurian Candidate
14. The West Wing: Season 4
15. Lost Boys of Sudan
16. Good Bye, Lenin!
17. MI-5: Vol. 4
18. Nueve Reinas
19. Central do Brasil
20. La Battaglia di Algeri
21. The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons From the Life of Robert S. McNamara
22. La Haine
23. The West Wing: Season 5
24. The West Wing: Season 2
25. The Wire: Season 4
[Note: Please don't think I haven't noticed that, as the children's song goes, "one of those things is not like the other ones."]

Comparatively, my own personal Netflix queue contains the following 25 movies (with commentary, of course):
1. Smart People (although I dislike Ellen Page)
2. Dan in Real Life (Steve Carrell does semi-seriousness?)
3. Semi-Pro (Touted as one of Will Ferrell's funniest?)
4. Friends with Money (Don't even remember what this is about)
5. Into the Wild (Could end up like Castaway -- terrible)
6. Read it and Weep (a Disney Channel original)
7. College Road Trip (starring Raven-Symone)
8. Footoose (Obligatory classic musical)
9. I’m Not There (Netflix gives it a 1.5 star rating)
10. Jawbreaker (Blatant rip-off of Heathers)
11. The Lake House (Widely touted as being... shitty)
12. Harold and Maude (Am not going to like this but felt obligated to try)
13. The Machinist (Love me some rail-thin Christian Bale)
14. The Break-Up (Also touted as terrible)
15. Fool’s Gold (Just for the McConaughey body shots)
16. Lars and the Real Girl (Creepy concept)
17. Monster’s Ball (Billy Bob AND Puff Daddy!)
18. Bringing Down the House (Yep, with Queen Latifah & Steve Martin.)
19. Fur (What IS this?!)
20. Running with Scissors (Will probably make me hate the book)
21. Little Children (Suburban scandal)
22. Match Point (Turns out Topher Grace is NOT in this. Damn.)
23. No Country for Old Men (Obligatory award-winner)
24. The Big Lebowski (Seriously never seen it!)
25. Maria Full of Grace (Cocaine smuggling goes artsy.)
Based on cinematic preference, should I be living elsewhere? The answer, it seems, is clear. But where? Disneyworld? The '90s? High school? Christian Bale's bed? A psych ward? Discuss.
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