My Blogskillz Bring All the Boys to the Yard...

My Blogskillz Bring All the Boys to the Yard...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

1 comment

The glory that is Google Analytics allows me to browse the Google keywords that cause people to stumble upon my little blog. Some of them are, frankly, incredible. I love it. Ready? Commentary included, of course!

• "jdate" (Lonely, single Jews searching for their soulmates.)
  
• "sara jay" (Fans of the porn star I met on my birthday hoping for nudie pics)
  
• "1 br dupont circle" (Folks looking to move into one-room shacks like mine)
  
• "bar-b-quin with my honey" (Someone looking for Rap Snacks!)
  
• "bow tied men" (A lady interested in classy gents)
  
• "bow to men" (Some subservient woman?)
  
• "buckeyes for boobies shirt" (I HAVE NO IDEA. How is this relevant to me?)
  
• "cinematic concepts in goodbye lenin!" (College film major)
  
• "city wife" (How did you get to ME? My apologies.)
  
• "class of spiders daddy longleg where dose it hange out" (Some poor arachnophobe)
  
• "day time hooker" (Governor Elliott Spitzer)
  
• "feel the power between my legs" (Armageddon fan... or huge perv)
  
• "four and a half punctuation" (A grammarian led astray)
  
• "glenmont metro and tow" (Some sad Marylander with a broken down vehicle)
  
• "is there a city name sweetheart" (Someone hoping I constitute an entire city)
  
• "metacarpal contusion" (Some sad sack with a broken hand who hopefully has quieter neighbors than I had)
  
• "musical metro" (Not sure... but they no doubt ended up with the story of my attempted murder last autumn)
  
• "my sweet babe" (Sweet-talker)
• "navy wife" (Again with the wives flocking to me for reasons unknown...)
  
• "ohio porn stars" (More Sara Jay seekers?)
  
• "palin" (There's no way I'm even in the top 1,000 results for this, so someone was REALLY dedicated in terms of vetting their Google results on this one.)
  
• "porn star jan b" (PERVS LOVE ME)
  
• "sex" (See my comments for "Palin," incidentally)
  
• "she makes the city seem like home" (Anberlin fan! Emo kid!)
  
• "sole decision" (Someone looking for shoes?)
  
• "sweetheart coffee cincinnati" (Beats me.)
  
• "sweetheart cupcake i'll be there for sure" (Beats me, part two.)
  
• "the machinist schizophrenia" (Christian Bale fan. Or someone with a mental illness. Whichev.)
  

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Text of the Month

Text of the Month

1 comment

"So I have decided, given the current f*cked up state of planet Earth, if McCain/Palin get elected, I am going to start preparing for the end of times... because I am pretty sure all of the shit that is going on right now is stated in Revelations as signs of the apocalypse. I double-checked: It does in fact state, 'If a redneck moose-hunting Alaskan becomes VP, prepare for the end.'"


-My lovely best, Sam

(OBAMA-RAMA, folks!)

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And Bimbo Was Her Name-O

And Bimbo Was Her Name-O

Friday, October 3, 2008

3 comments

I watched tonight's Vice Presidential debate at a friend's place, where he & his friend had assembled to play Palin Bingo. I was skeptical of my bingo sheet, positive I could never win with it -- but win I did, friends! Check that left-to-right diagonal!

And as a point of interest, playing this game resulted in our noticing that throughout the course of the nuclear Iran/unstable Pakistan question, Gov. Sarah Palin NEVER SAID THE WORD "PAKISTAN." My friends who preemptively bubbled in their Pakistan squares as Gwen Ifill asked the question were sorely disappointed - &, frankly, shocked (or not?) - that the GOP's sweetheart somehow managed to answer the question without ever answering the question... a pattern that would continue throughout the night.

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