7 Wedding Traditions I Just Don't Care About (& a Giveaway!)

Monday, August 7, 2017

Let's talk a little bit more about weddings!

First things first: If you're local & planning your upcoming wedding, you definitely want to check out Handpicked, A Bridal Event, an intimate, cocktail party-style bridal fair on Tuesday, August 15th at HiHo Brewery in Cuyahoga Falls. My mom & I will be there... & I have two tickets to give away, too! To be entered win, just leave a comment here saying you'd like to attend (be sure to include your email address in the appropriate field), & I'll contact the winner this Friday.

OK. Now let's talk a little bit more about weddings.

Weddings are absolutely mired in tradition, both of the longtime variety & of the "This is a brand-new trend, but we're going to act like it's been happening forever!" sort. I recently finished the book A Practical Wedding, which reassures brides- & grooms-to-be that we need not follow the so-called rules when planning our own big day. This isn't to criticize anyone who does do these or love them; I'm sure you don't care about a few of the things I do. I think it's interesting to see what does & doesn't resonate with individual people.

With all that in mind, I wanted to confess a few wedding traditions that I just don't give a damn about - & luckily, Mike feels the same!
  1. Cake: My mom insists we've got to have some sort of dessert at our wedding, but... why? Neither of us even likes cake, for the most part, or desserts in general. We looked into the idea of serving doughnuts from local biz Brewnuts, but the cost was a thousand dollars for 200 doughnuts, so that was an immediate no-go. We may still come up with a dessert idea, but if we don't? Oh, well, I say!
  2. Sitting on "sides": The idea of a bride's side & a groom's side during the wedding ceremony has always seemed like a bit of a foreign concept to me. I feel like most Jews don't do this at their weddings, & lately I've been to primarily Jewish weddings, so I haven't seen much of it. Why not just sit wherever? We're all there to celebrate the same love!
  3. A bridal party table: I've never liked the idea of the bridal party sitting at a head table, which inevitably means that bridesmaids & groomsmen have to sit away from their dates all evening. I want our wedding to be fun for everyone in attendance, & that means not abandoning their husbands, wives, & dates through the whole of dinner. [Edited to add: After posting this, I learned that Mike & I are not in agreement on this one. Whooooops. Looks like we may have a bridal party table after all!
  4. Chair covers: This is one that I don't entirely understand. I've never been to a wedding & thought, "Everything would be so much nicer if only these chairs were decorated!" I literally can't remember a single wedding where I've ever made note of the chairs at all, actually. So why spend money to cover them?
  5. Garter & bouquet toss: Again, these are traditions I haven't seen much of at Jewish weddings, & they've always seemed a bit old-fashioned to me. Someone is always made to be super uncomfortable (usually whomever ends up having to wear the garter), & it's all just too heternormative & awkward for me.
  6. A big exit: I've seen some cool wedding exits, like when my cousin & his wife paddled away in a canoe behind a stream of sparklers. Still, this isn't a tradition that matters much to me, & since we're having our ceremony & our reception in the same place, we won't need to do an in-between exit, either, the kind with bubbles or rice or butterflies or whatever. All the easier, I say!
  7. Honeymooning right away: It's stressful enough to plan a wedding; I don't want to have to plan my honeymoon at the same time! Mike & I are planning to do a quick winter getaway after the wedding itself, but we won't go on our "real" honeymoon until spring, when we've had plenty of time to plan, save, & relax after the big day - especially because my biennial work conference is less than a month after our wedding day! 
There are, of course, plenty of wedding traditions I do care about & am enjoying planning for. Check out my last wedding update (from June), a little bit about why I'm changing my last name, & a few Jewish traditions we're including in our wedding. With our wedding just about three months away, I'm looking forward to seeing what sort of almost-last-minute inspiration Handpicked, A Bridal Event provides me - & I hope you'll love it, too!

If you're already married, planning a wedding, or just considering your future options, tell me: What wedding-day traditions (or "traditions") do you just not care about?

Thanks to Handpicked, A Bridal Event for offering me two tickets for myself & two tickets to give away. As always, all opinions are my own! 

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