I'm planning to change my last name when I get married, but I don't like the assumption that I'm planning to change my last name when I get married. I've already started hearing comments referring to me by Mike's last name. You guys! Lots of women do not change their names. Can we not assume they're going to?
While I understand where they're coming from - for whatever reason, I probably wouldn't have expected me to, either! - I will indeed be taking his last name when we get married. Here's why.
1. I have no real attachment to my last name.Don't get me wrong, it'll be weird not to go by the name I've used for 33 years. It's my name. At the same time, it's not a last name I've ever loved, & I used to joke that I couldn't wait to get married so I could get rid of it (sorry, Mom). I don't feel that strongly against my own last name - I've actually become kind of fond of its weirdness - but I also don't love it so much that I need to keep it forever.
2. Mike's last name is super quirky.Real talk: When I first learned his last name, I thought it was was so bizarre (sorry, Mike's parents), & hoped I'd never have to choose whether I'd adopt it as my own. After nearly two years together, though, it's grown on me, & I can barely remember a time when I didn't think it was actually a lot of fun. Sure, it means "dead" in Yiddish, but isn't that kind of funny? We joke that my future name sounds like a cartoon superhero in a children's book. Can't beat that.
3. I'm going to change my whole name...If you know me IRL or have been reading this blog for awhile, you might remember that Kate isn't actually my first name. My full name is Sara Kathryn, but I've always gone by Kate or Katy. It's weird to feel like my legal name isn't my name, like when I have to put "Sara" on legal documents & doctors call me by it & DMVs refuse to put my middle name on my license. When we get married, I'm going to drop Sara & make Kate my legal first name, with my maiden name as my legal middle name.
I'm really excited to have an excuse to do this because it's hella difficult to change your name if you're not getting married. In some states, you have to go to court for it & even put it an ad in the local paper inviting townspeople to challenge your name change. Yes, for real.