With Regahds from (Neah) Bahston

Monday, February 28, 2011

I've said it before (see: Twitter), & I'll say it again: The accents in New England continue to astound me. Every time a native opens his or her mouth, I'm truly shocked by the dialect that emerges. Sure, I've heard tell of that infamous "pahk the cah" accent, but prior to moving here, I was under the misguided impression that such exaggerated pronunciation existed only in the likes of the "The Departed."

I can admit it: I was wrong.

At the risk of offending Lexa & Erin & any other pals who are products of Beantown, I'd like to list the top three phrases I've so far discovered sound truly comical when spoken with a Bostonian accent. Drumroll pleeeeease:

  • The first shocker came when I asked an unassuming WalMart employee where I could find Chapstick. "It's ovah neah the phahmacy," she told me. I literally just stared at her, mouth agape, for about 10 seconds before I regained my composure, thanked her, & headed off toward the Chapstick aisle. After tweeting & Facebooking my surprise.

  • The iPhone case I purchased at Target came with a $5 rebate in the form of a Target card. So naturally, the cashier handed it to me & informed me, "This is a $5 rebate in the foahm of a Tahget cahd."

  • A nearby furniture store, Bernie & Phyl's, runs commercials featuring its two very excited owners speaking in loud voices about, you got, it their "furnitchah stoah." As a bonus, they also use the phrase "depahtment stoah." 

Seriously, everyone here is a caricature of Cliff Clavin.

I can hear you asking me me why the novelty hasn't worn off yet. "They're going to keep speaking like this!" you're saying. "Get used to it!"

And to that? I say: Nevah.

24 comments:

  1. This made me giggle. And miss you. We've never met? Yeah, I dunno, either. ;)

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  2. I liked this post. Boston is so cool but when I visited I also had many double takes because of the accent. I liked it though.

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  3. See, when I say those out loud I sound "normal" but then again I am British and our dialects leave a lot to be desired! ;)

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  4. I dated a girl from Salem once based only on the accent.

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  5. Jest wait 'til you staht seeing local cah commehcials. A cupple in pehticulah ah moah than a little ovah the tawp. A la Jolly John.

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  6. My freshman year of college, when I first moved to this silly coast, I had a friend who was soooooo Boston. We made of her consistently for the first two years. I like to think that we peer pressured her to get rid of the accent. Today, she bears zero resemblance to the Bahston creature she used to be, praise the Lord.

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  7. Heh, that made me giggle.

    Also, I (think I) had no idea that you were moving to BOSTON! Boston is the place to be!!!!!!! <3

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  8. I loooove hearing new accents, haha. Do we sound like we have an accent to people from Boston?!

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  9. Ha! I loved this! My grandfather has a thick, thick Boston accent. One of the funniest stories we have of him is when he was talking to my uncle about some sort of food and said how for this recipe, he needed "Tah-tah" sauce. It took them FOREVER to figure out what Tah-tah sauce was.

    I lovvvve Boston accents. They crack me up!

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  10. Absolutely amused by this. I've never been to Boston!

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  11. HILARIOUS.

    PS: My dear husband watches a show called Pawn Stars, and he was talking about it tonight to friends and all I was hearing was "porn stars" and was so confused. I had him say it to me when we got home, a few more times, and I realized ... he says "pawn" like a Jersian, so it sounds like "porn," no matter how hard he tries. UGH.

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  12. I love this! I grew up in MA and now live in NYC. For the most part I keep the accent in check but I keep my clothes in a drah, I get my internet from a wireless routah, I change the TV station using a clickah, and a water fountain will always be a bubblah.

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  13. LOL that's absolutely hilarious! I never knew that there was a Boston accent at all.

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  14. I'm just excited for you to come back to Ohio and realize that YOU have an accent, too. And we're all going to point it out to you, don't you worry.

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  15. totally laughed out loud both at the picture and of you running around in a town of all Cliff Clavin's. No joke.
    I kind of love the Boston accent and surrounding accents. I've always been an accent girl, what can I say!? :)

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  16. Hahha Love this post! I live in Boston, but I am not from here and I still get so surprised by the accents. I get even more surprised when I catch myself saying things like RUM instead of ROOM, or STOAAA instead of STORE haha

    xoxo
    Miss Neira

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  17. You are absolutely going to end up with an accent of your own. And it's going to be hilarious.

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  18. I miss that accent!! I lived in Boston for 4 years, and I miss everything about that town. Including those crazy accents!

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  19. lol! this is hilarious! it's exactly how I felt, but about the texan accent. YA'LL!

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  20. Oh, God, you're a better woman than I. I think the Boston accents are
    quirky, but I don't know if I could handle Southern accents!

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  21. I'm with May. When I first moved to Texas, I secretly laughed at every Texan who opened their mouth. It just sounded so funny to me - local commercials on TV are the best. :) And of course, never forget that cowboy hat. Never!!!

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  22. and that is why I don't live there anymore...haha!

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  23. and that is why I don't live there anymore...haha!

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  24. HA! No offense taken. I loved this post!

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