Mr. Rogers Would NOT Be Proud

Mr. Rogers (may his name be for a blessing, as we Jews say) used to sing in his opening ditty, "I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you. I have always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you." But what happens when you end up with the kind of neighbors that you haven't always wanted?

Two of my closest friends here in the District (we'll call them JP & B) cohabit together in JP's very swanky Chinatown pad. But an email he sent today to a listserv of our friends proved that when it comes to apartment living, even reliable locks & a dutiful doorman can't prevent you from falling victim to shenanigan-loving neighbors. Criminal shenanigan-loving neighbors, I might add, the kind who make the neighborhood a lot less Rogers-esque. Observe:

As you can imagine, JP & B are not pleased. Someone stole Was It For This's snow shovel the other day, prompting #2 on this list. But that, at least, is a crime with a purpose. Stealing even a pair of boots would've been a crime with a purpose? But SINGULAR SHOES? From two different pairs? A new unneighborly low!