I'm Not a Superhero, I Just Play One on Public Transportation

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tonight, I grabbed dinner with friends at Pete's Apizza in Columbia Heights, where carbs & general happiness abounded. During a round of story-telling, we had a revelation of sorts - I'm a WMATA superhero!


No, I mean it. In the past three months, the following situations have occurred:
  1. I sprinted from my (old) apartment to catch an L2 bus one weeknight. As I stepped onto the bus, the wobbly, little old man on the top step in front of me teetered & fell backwards. I caught him - all 100 or so pounds, cane & all - & swiftly deposited him back on the top step where he belonged. "I didn't know you were there," he breathed. "I thought I was going to die." An exaggeration? Perhaps. But it is almost certain he would have fractured some part of his fragile self had he taken the full tumble.

  2. While riding a bus back to work following a midday physical therapy appointment, the bus driver pulled up at a stop in Farragut to discover a fallen women lying in the bus shelter. "Ma'am, are you OK?!" he yelled out the door. When she didn't answer, I climbed off the bus & joined a fellow passerby in calling 911 & waiting as EMS came out to tend to the bruised, bloody & very dirty old woman who'd fallen face-first onto the sidewalk & couldn't seem to speak properly.

  3. This morning while exiting a train at Dupont Circle, I watched in horror as a man with pens in his shirt pocket somehow became tangled up in the iPod cord of a woman walking past him. As she hurried on by, she unknowingly dragged him to his knees on the platform next to the open train door while he screamed "Stop walking!" A bewildered onlooking crowd tried to keep the doors open so he wouldn't get stuck in them if the train pulled away, but when she stopped, the two of them were so badly intertwined that they couldn't get themselves undone. I hurriedly detached them as he yelled obscenities & as she apologized profusely, just in time for them to miss the train - & wait on the platform alone together.
There you have it. I have no idea how I find myself in so many dramatic situations, but neither does Superman. Need a hero while aboard the bus? Desperate for rescue while riding the rail? Apparently I'm your girl!


  1. all you need now is some sort of huge sign we can project into the sky when we need help! lol

  2. That IS dramatic... I don't think I've ever done anything remotely lifesaving.

    Except, this one time, I caught a stranger's kid from falling down a steep set of marble stairs.

    It was actually pretty impressive, now that I think about it.

  3. Really, the dude was yelling? So lame. My hatred of people still lives.

  4. Now you know what to be for Halloween. So glad you're back, what a great laugh-out-loud post!

  5. you HAVE to follow this through. i'm serious. costume, name... the whole deal. just no cape. capes are lame.

  6. I agree with f.B- you need a costume, and an alter ego when you aren't saving lives.

  7. nicely done, captain public-transportation good samaritan! ok, that name is way too long. how about this for a slogan though:

    wmata opens doors; katy won't let them close on you.


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