TMI Thursday: What If?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

As you know, I don't really do TMI Thursday, even when I "do" it. I'm not easily embarrassed & I'm also not willingly personal about much of my life, as I was reminded the other day when my mother sent me an email urging me to remove my anti-JDate post. As she threatened to stop reading my blog (is that a painful threat?!),* she provided me with a reminder that plenty of the people I know in real life also go home to their Google Readers, where they then read through my innermost thoughts.

OK, that's a lie. You are not privy to my innermost thoughts, folks. Only the suburban/city-related ones. Mostly the ones that involve me passing judgment on other people.

But what if you DID have front row seats to the inner workings of this brain? What if I DID participate in TMI Thursday's, LiLu- and Maxie-style? What would your Suburban Sweetheart be churning out come the fourth work day of every week?

So this post is a tease. But so what? You know you're curious. If I were to participate fully in TMI Thursday, here are a few of my would-be post titles. You can imagine their would-be content for yourself.

  • TMI Thursday: 'I'm Being Chased. Can I Chill on Your Porch?'
  • TMI Thursday: Happy Birthday to Me - A Mean Right Hook & a Hard Sidewalk
  • TMI Thursday: Auld Lang Syne & Why All Acquaintance WILL Be Forgot By This Time Next Year
  • TMI Thursday: New York State of (Absent-)Mind(ed-At-A-Sketchy-Bar)
  • TMI Thursday: It's OK, This Bathroom Floor Was More Comfortable Than My Bed
  • TMI Thursday: 'Hey, Mom, I Thought You Should Know...'
  • TMI Thursday: Good Morning, Thanks for Breakfast, & of COURSE I Haven't Been Here All Night!
  • TMI Thursday: The Double Entendre of Inauguration Weekend
  • TMI Thursday: 'Is Your Gas Worth More Than My Life?'
  • TMI Thursday: 'You Should Learn to Chew Your Food Better'
  • TMI Thursday: That's What I Get for Waking up in Vegas
  • TMI Thursday: Grasshopper Breath & the Jonas Pledge
  • TMI Thursday: 'Will You Google the Age of Consent for Me?'
  • TMI Thursday: His Futon Feels Exactly Like MY Futon!
  • TMI Thursday: Why Ponytails Are a Weakness in Battle
The best part of writing these has not been recalling all my humiliating life achievements but anticipating what sort of way-worse-than-real-life shenanigans others might conjure up based upon the titles I've provided. Tell me whatcha got?

*I know you're still reading this, Mom.


  1. I can't TMI Thursday because my Aunt reads my blog. And I don't need her calling my mother to talk about my "activities."

    But I'm thinking of maybe seeing if I could guest post somewhere. Is that an option for you?

  2. There's no way I'd evaaah give my mom my blog address.

    It's better this way.

    I'm positive of it.

  3. Guest TMIs are always welcome... just sayin!

  4. Here goes...

    "TMI Thursday: 'Is Your Gas Worth More Than My Life?'"

    I imagine... you and a guy (of arguably shady demeanor and character) in a Geo Metro with rims and a flaming decal on the side. You just watched Harold and Kumar at his place and he's giving you a ride home, but inspired by the movie, you decide to search for a Sonic... knowing full well that finding a Sonic in this metro-area is probably impossible. Yadda yadda yadda... a few Lite FM moments on the radio later (read: Richard Marx songs)... eventually he's running out of gas and the only place you find out in the Maryland wilderness will give him gas if you agree to marry the gas station owner's husband and live above the gas station. At this point, you turn to your guy and say, "'Is your gas worth more than my life?"

    Close, right? I just know it.

  5. aw, man. all that effort and i wrote "husband" rather than "son." eh, well. i tried.

    though, "husband" makes that story even more absurd. hmm...


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