The Post in Which I Realize I'm Sort of Actually a Real Adult

Friday, March 6, 2009

I don't have a great track record with keeping people's opinions of me positive. In fact, I moved away from my hometown partially because I needed to start fresh - not just because I was tired of the Buckeye State but because I was tired of being known only for my mistakes. I'd spent a really long time worrying that I was going crazy - & for a time, probably actually being crazy - & since then, I've spent a lot of time attempting to NOT be. If you want details, I can give 'em, but the moral of the story is that I came to DC in part because I was running away from Ohio.

So here I am, one year & seven months into my District residency, & every once in awhile something happens that causes me to reevaluate not only my life here, but my life in general - who I am & how far I have (or, in some cases, have not, but luckily this isn't one of those times) come.

Today I had one of thoe cartoon-light-bulb-over-my-head realizations that my emotions are finally in tact. And while I still have some absurdly undefined issues that need to work themselves out, I'm pleased to notice that I'm not a 16-year-old emo kid anymore. This afternoon, as I made one last shot at communication & then cleanly & efficiently severed ties with someone I care about who has no interest in reconciliation or talking things through like a mature adult, I happily recognized that I am:
  • relatively emotionally secure
  • ridiculously resilient
  • not nearly as creepy as I sometimes think
  • sufficiently but not unrealistically optimistic
And, in closing:
  • pretty freakin' normal.
Amen.

Thanks, DC.

8 comments:

  1. I feel the same way sometimes about not feeling like an adult until I do something adult-like. Lately I haven't been feeling adult-like... hopefully that will change. Great post! (as usual :-))

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  2. Well, I love you and that will probably never change. :)

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  3. ok, it won't change... i realized how stupid "probably never change" sounded after I posted!

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  4. Hahaha, Caiti, I get it. And thanks. <3

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  5. From someone who can't claim to know you that well, you absolutely seem all the things you mention above (in the bullet points - NOT the crazy part) and not in the least bit creepy.

    I'd also add witty, very observant and insightful to your list.

    Oh - and owner of a great new dress :)

    So either you have fooled me with this blog and your Twitter...or you're a pretty darn cool adult :) I'm going with the latter.

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  6. I'm jealous of your "aha" moment :( Lol, love you!!!

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  7. It makes me very happy to read this. It's great to see you realize things that I've noticed for a long time about you. I love you!

    I've been a little behind on your blog, but I've finally left comments on some of your other entries from this week, too!

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  8. Interesting read. :]

    I enjoyed it.

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