A Tale of Two Cities

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Cab in NYC, 3:45 p.m. on Tuesday
My cabbie, a burly native New Yorker, screamed out the window to a woman smoking a cigarette, "I break that curse in Jesus' name! YOU DON'T WANT CANCER!" While I agree with the sentiment, it was a bizarre & borderline terrifying experience, exacerbated by aforementioned driver's inability to, well,
drive. He jolted, he jetted, he darted in & out of others cars, bikes & pedestrians, angering even the most seasoned of New Yorkers. At one point he also yelled to a street vendor wheeling his hot dog cart down the street, "AYYY, I'll take two franks with sauerkraut! AYYY!"

It was the first time in my life that I ever thought, "If I don't remove myself from this situation, I'm going to die." Carsick & scared, I asked to be let out long before we arrived at Penn Station. I paid him & promptly barfed in a Big Apple trashcan before hailing a new (calmer) cab to take me the rest of the way.

Cab in D.C., 8:15 p.m. on Wednesday
Still reeling from the allergies I acquired up in the oh-so-dirty City That Never Sleeps, I caught a cab home from my local CVS after picking up an inhaler.
Cough, cough. My cabbie noted that I sounded a little ill & upon my affirmative response, launched into a litany of get-well-quick tips that he swore would help me conquer my bronchial demons. Hot tea with lemon & honey, of course (drunk both night & day), & lots of sleep & some zinc cough drops, no matter how bad the taste -- but he also offered up a few more off-the-wall suggestions, like taking a very hot shower in the evening & then getting right into bed to capture all my bodily heat... or something to that effect.

When I got out of the cab, he seemed very concerned for my well-being. "Please take care of yourself!" he urged. "Take very good care of yourself!"


  1. You're the only person who has more absurd experiences than my lovely hurricane. IN OHIO. Yours are funnier :o)

  2. I'm offended. Clearly. But not surprised. Clearly. Again.

  3. Why do absurd transportation fiascoes seem to only happen to you!? I get stuck with the damn broken trains and you get the crazy stories - no fair!

    Hope you're feeling better and, as always, if you need any tea or honey you know who to call :-)


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