Wednesday, October 25, 2017

What Do You Do When You Can't Do Anything Right?


I'm having one of those weeks where I feel like I just can't get anything right.

Do you ever have days - or weeks, or months - like that?

I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that it's a little bit of everything: work, wedding, diet, home. All I want, quite honestly, is to crawl under the covers & mope & feel sorry for myself for a little bit, but I've got so much to do in the next few weeks that that's not feasible. Instead, I've got to slog through it & hopefully rebuild my confidence a little bit in the process so that I don't get stuck in a rut.

Here's how I tend to do it - but I'm open to suggestions & additions, so hit me with your best pick-me-up tips!

1. Power through my to-do list.

The more organized I am, the better I feel, so when I'm feeling down, one of the best things I can do for myself is to feel very in-control of as much as possible. Even if that means working after hours or staying up late to get everything done, well, it feels worth it when I don't feel stressed about how much I have to do - which usually only serves to make me feel worse about myself.

2. Indulge in some self-care.

I know everyone Gen X & older seems to roll their eyes at this phrase (after a particular incident, I no longer mention it at work), but I believe self-care is important - & it's not all spa days & eat-the-donut, either. At its base level, self-care is about taking care of yourself, & so, during times when I'm feeling down, I try to do things that will make me feel better, both about myself & generally, from getting enough sleep to getting all my work done to reading a good book to, yes, the occasional home facial.

3. Be kind to others. 

When I feel like all I ever get is negative feedback, I try to provide positive feedback to others & hope that some of it rubs off on me. Maybe that just means saying thank you to someone who holds the door for me, or shooting off a quick, "You did a great job on this!" email to a coworker, or giving a small compliment to a stranger. The nicer I am to others, the nicer I can be to myself.

4. Vent to someone who gets it.

I really try not to complain to much, & when I do, I spread it out among friends so no one ever hears too much negativity from me. When I'm having a rough day or difficult moment, I think for a little bit about who might understand how I'm feeling & why, or even just the one who can surely pick me up with a funny story of gif. I'm grateful to have friends who will talk me through it or even just let me send a wall of angry text before we move on to happier topics. Word-vomit is incredibly cathertic.

5. Look to the future.

Just today, my Twitter friend Nneka shared some wisdom: "This day did not start off well. But thankfully, as my spiritual advisor always says, at any point you can start your day over." This tweet felt like a freaking revelation: Just because it's been a bad day/week doesn't mean it has to remain a bad day/week. Keeping my focus on moving forward toward the positive - whenever that comes - always helps me to remember that I won't always feel the way I do right this moment.

What do you do when you're feeling down on yourself? Got any tips for me? 

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