"Obey my dog."
All right, ANYWAY. From time to time, I like to photograph particularly egregious acts of bad fashion. Please join me in this act of public shaming.
Let's start out slowly. If "slowly" is a seizure of mismatched patterns with Crocs to top it off. Dude, you're, like, 25. You can NOT be reeling in the ladies or the job offers in a get-up like this.
Are you a cartoon villain, ma'am? A Playboy bunny, perhaps? A go-go dancer? A marching band majorette? No? Then there's absolutely no excuse for white patent leather boots. Oh, unless you're a fembot. Which you may actually be.
The final outfit, spotted in Orlando, is today's crowning glory. It is absolutely unacceptable - I repeat, absolutely unacceptable - for any woman over the age of 12 to wear such an outfit in public. And frankly, even if you were 12, you shouldn't wear this in public. Because this is pajamas. (Of note: This woman was approximately 35.)
And just for kicks, here's a bonus photo of a guy carrying a rifle through a store. Live free or die!
"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"