Friday, October 12, 2007

Faux Car-Jackings & Emotional Breakdowns

The following is a TRUE STORY.

I got off the Metro at 8:00 p.m., on the dot, & proceeded to realize that my car was absolutely absent from the parking deck. I wandered the oddly constructed maze of a structure for 20 minutes before retreating nervously to the station manager's office to report, "I can't find my car." He called the cops, & I retreated up the escalator to wait... where I promptly burst into uncontrollable tears.

A good Samaritan who witnessed my tearful outburst stopped to console me, asking for details & helping me deduce what could possibly have happened. Because I'm moving into my new apartment tomorrow, my car was packed with a ton of my stuff. As I was quite sure I hadn't parked illegally, warranting a tow, I assumed the worst - someone had spotted the new Target trash can & the Black & Decker toaster over in my back seat & made off with them in my beloved Sylvia the Civic. "That's it," I conceded. "Stolen."

I made a few more laps to look for the car, hyperventilating as I tried to tell The Samaritan what was happening - no luck. When I returned to the station area to wait for the police, the good Samaritan returned, this time with her husband & children. Her husband helped me locate an address for the towing company, which reported that they had not, in fact, taken my vehicle today. While I kept waiting for the 5-0, the Samaritan Fam took off in their own vehicle to circle the lot and make sure I hadn't missed mine.

The Attractive Cops showed up, where I burst back into tears & explained my situation. They assigned me to sitting & waiting for the Samaritans to return while they, too, walked the lot in search of dear old Sylvia --- just in case. As I sobbed to my mother on my cell & caused quite the ruckus within the station area (people were staring, I was ignoring), Mr. Samaritan gave me a little ring & said, "Your car is in 2D. We're here with the police."

Attractive Cop Numero Uno retrieved me from my waiting post & we trekked to 2D, where Attractive Cop Numero Dos was standing next to Sylvia, who was still packed with my toaster oven & my various other belongings, thank heavens. Mr. Samaritan called one more time to be sure everything worked out all right - I thanked him & the Metro PD profusely, & called my mother to reassure her that no, my car had not been jacked in the 'burbs of Maryland.

Moral of this story??? I'm a tool, yes, but you already knew that. The real moral is this: I AM MOVING TOMORROW, & I COULD NOT BE ANY HAPPIER THAT I NEVER HAVE TO DRIVE MY CAR TO THE GLENMONT METRO STATION EVER AGAIN.
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