At War with My Body
Thursday, November 4, 2021
TW: chronic illness, infertility, weight
For a long time — since right after my spinal fusion surgery in seventh grade — I did not think of myself as a person with chronic pain. I thought everyone walked around in physical pain most of the time. It was only when I moved to Washington, D.C., after college that I learned that most people didn’t have the pain levels I had, that most people’s bodies didn’t hurt like mine did.
I hadn’t known. I thought it was normal. I knew mine was, perhaps, worse than others, but it never occurred to me that other people had no general pain.
I guess that’s because mine has simply always been there, & I’ve always just dealt with it — like the time my back hurt so badly for two weeks that I had to wear only sports bras & carry a wheeled suitcase to work… at age 23. But I’ve learned how to manage; I’ve always managed. You have to, don’t you? You only get one body, & so you do with it what can. You adapt. You figure out how to function best with what you’re given.
