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How My Holidays Were

Sunday, January 8, 2023

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The week between Christmas and New Year's is always so weird, isn't it? It's just so slow, and I love it, but it also feels like a rush, somehow, like you have to tie up loose ends and prepare for new beginnings. I wrote most of this post then, but I didn't publish it because I needed to fit in those other end-of-year posts
 

Once January begins, the holidays automatically feel like a distant memory, but it feels worth writing about them for posterity's sake. Here's how mine were.
 


 

Spent Hanukkah with lots of loved ones 

Mike and I had a really lovely Hanukkah this year, lighting candles together every night and often lighting them with other people, too, including his sister, who's staying with us for a week, and his parents, who were here for the sixth and eighth nights. My mom was here for the eighth night, too, as we wrapped up a family Christmas.
   

We spent the fifth night with our friends Derek and Emily and their seven-month-old son, who invited us over for brisket and a fancy cocktail they named the Toasted Squishmallow (there was DIY marshmallow toasting involved). Derek's family is partly Jewish, and though he isn't observant, he sometimes likes getting Jew-ish with us by association. It was great to light the menorah with them for their baby's first Hanukkah!
 


 

Hosted our families on Christmas Day 

We hosted Christmas dinner twice before the pandemic, when we lived in a duplex apartment where we all barely fit. This year, with substantially more space, we were thrilled to host Christmas at our new house, just as we approach the one-year mark of living here. There were 11 of us in total, including Mike's parents, sister, aunt and uncle, two cousins, his cousin's girlfriend, and my mom.
  

There was a lot of food but not necessarily too much. Mike ordered a honey-baked ham, Maggie made John Legend's mac and cheese, their mom brought a tenderloin, his aunt made salad and rosemary potatoes, and my mom assembled a truly magical charcuterie board and some incredible cookies. I made coquito, a Puerto Rican coconut drink, and we ordered an apple pecan pie from Rood.

 


 

Took it easy the week in between

I had the Monday after Christmas off but worked the rest of the week; I think I was the only one on my team who was in all four days! I haad plenty of vacation days left, but I'd basically clung to them all year long out of fear that I'd run out, so I just let them roll over to this year (so that I won't have to do it again). 
  

With everyone else out, I decided it would be a good time to be in, with no meetings to attend and not much else to do. I was surprised that I not only hit but actually surpassed my weekly writing quota, which seems impressive for such a laid-back week.
 


 

Welcomed, 2023!

We spent New Year's Eve at our friends' house with a bunch of other friends. We hadn't gotten together for the last two years, both times because of COVID, so it was nice to finally ring in the new year with loved ones again (even if we did, to my dismay, watching the Ohio State game instead of New Year's Rockin' Eve).
 

I'm glad 2023 is here. Of course, we never know what's to come, but I'm excited for an upcoming trip to San Francisco with some of my old D.C. friends, traveling for a couple weddings (one in Plattsburgh, NY, and one outside Seattle), doing more freelance work, continuing to decorate and organize our home, leveling up in boxing, and hopefully getting a better handle on my health. 
 

Here's to whatever comes next. Happy new year, friends.

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12 Beers of Christmas (Or "Why I'm Thrilled Not to Drink Crappy Beer Anymore")

Monday, November 19, 2018

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I used to think I only liked crappy beer. Like, really. All I drank was Miller Lite! At fancier events, I was totally stumped. You just don't want to be the girl at a black-tie wedding requesting a Miller Lite, you know?

Luckily for me, I turned 30 & learned about hops - specifically that I don't like them, which opened me up to a whole wide world of non-hoppy beers that I've come to love. Now I know that I dislike IPAs & stouts, sours give me heartburn, & I love saisons & kolsches.

Newly armed with beer knowledge - & love! - I was excited to be invited to a preview of Der Braumeister's 12 Beers of Christmas event. (Pro-tip: Even if you're not local to the CLE, you're gonna wanna read on for some delicious beer recs.)
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Happy Holidays, with Love from the Kaputs

Monday, December 25, 2017

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This post is a copy of the holiday letter Mike & I sent out to family & friends... & the image above is the front of the card we sent. Oops - though, luckily, we sent out very few of them because we were too tired (from sending wedding invitations, thank-you notes, etc.) to do a full-on Christmas card mailing this year. 

Anyway. Mike wrote this letter, so it's in his voice, & parts have been redacted for publication here. Happy holidays, friends.

_____

Friends, family, compatriots,

Growing up, both Kate and I loved receiving annual holiday letters from friends and family. These letters, which recounted the joys, successes, and milestones of the previous year, were just one more way to stay present in the lives of our loved ones, near and far.

Today, we’re blessed to have friends and family all over the world. Though we all share the joys and sorrows of everyday life online, we thought it’d be a lovely tradition to send our own holiday letter to give you the big picture view of our family’s year.

So, let’s get to it: 2017 was, to put it mildly, a hell of a year. The biggest news, of course, was the dizzying rise of the price of bitcoin.

Just kidding! The biggest news was that we got married! (Though seriously, check out bitcoin.) We sincerely could not have imagined a better way to celebrate our union than with the people we love most.

Most people know that Kate and I count our friends as family, and on November 11, we were lucky enough to be surrounded by the best family imaginable. Most people also know that a few years ago, both Kate and I would’ve put “getting married” low on our list of likely things to happen in the near future, so it’s an understatement to say that “finding your person and marrying them” was such a pleasant surprise.

In fact, we’re so eager to start our first full year of married life together that we accidentally ordered holiday cards that say 2018. The future is, quite literally, now.

2017 was also notable in a number of other ways.

We attended beautiful weddings that took us all over the country, including New Orleans, which is most certainly haunted, and Washington, D.C., which is definitely in need of an exorcism. In May, we moved into a new apartment and decided to call it our home for the next few years while we ease into this whole “being adults” thing. We also adopted a second cat, which is enough responsibility for now. (Our cats are named Helo and Dora. Helo is named after a character in the 21st-century reboot of the science fiction show Battlestar Galactica; Dora is short for Nymphadora, a character in the Harry Potter series. None of this should be shocking to anyone reading this letter.)

For Kate, 2017 brought amazing new opportunities and experiences. Kate has been blogging steadily for 10+ years, maintaining a blog that showcases her beautiful complexities, amazing characteristics, and unique insight on the world. Personal writing is like a window into a person’s soul, which meant Mike, who read most of her blog after their first date, fell in love before Date #2. (Thankfully, this worked out.)

This year, Cleveland Plus named Kate one of the top Cleveland top bloggers to follow, so now, when people on the internet want to know more about CLE, they can more easily find her blog, which we can all agree is the role she was born to play in the blogosphere. (Check her out at www.greatestescapist.com)

This year, Kate was also published on Alma, Localeur, and in Cleveland Magazine; this is in addition to her full-time job. In her spare time, she fit in seeing Billy Joel in concert and reading 75+ books. The sad part is that 75 books is 25 fewer books than she read last year. That is not a joke.

Last but not least, we were overjoyed to celebrate the retirement of Kate’s mother, Joyce, after serving as head of the children’s department at the local library for 16 and ½ years. Joyce continues to be a bright and beloved light in her community — and is a better dancer than both of us.

Mike, on the other hand, is lucky he managed to stay alive, free of incarceration, and gainfully employed in 2017. (Calm down guys, it’s kind of a joke.)

Mike continues to work as a consultant at an online marketing agency, where he puts Don Draper to shame. His pet project focuses educating marketing professionals about artificial intelligence. So far, it has attracted significant interest from key players in AI, led to high-profile speaking gigs, and even gotten some paying sponsors. Not too bad for a passion project he’s been developing on the side.

Mike has, this year alone, started writing two novels that will probably never be finished. One is a sci-fi thriller of AI run amok; the other is a young adult fantasy novel in the vein of Harry Potter. He’s also spent a huge amount of time trying to learn more about real estate and understand cryptocurrencies. On this last point, he’s become fond of saying that there are two types of friends: friends who humor his discussions of bitcoin, and people who used to be friends. He makes this joke before crying himself to sleep at night.

On Mike’s side of the family, we were been truly blessed to watch Mike’s sister Maggie graduation from Ohio University in May. The entire Kaput clan made the trip to Athens to watch Maggie walk. It has been one of the proudest moments of Mike’s life to watch his sister grow into a smart and talented young woman.

Thank you for taking the time to read about our family, support us in our endeavors, and make our lives so rich and full of joy. To reward you for reading such a lengthy letter, here some of the books we loved this year that you may want to read yourself:

Kate recommends: Everybody’s Son by Thrity Umrigar (a Clevelander!); The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas; and Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur. Mike recommends: Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX and the Quest for a Fantastic Future by Ashley Vance; The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumph by Ryan Holiday; and Red Rising by Pierce Browne.

We can’t wait for the adventures 2018 has to offer. Until then, we wish you and your loved ones a holiday filled with joy, warmth, and good tidings toward all humankind (or most of it, depending on your mood). Above all, we wish you presence. We spend most of our time thinking about the days to come, but the days happening now are the most valuable things any of us own. We hope you’re able to sit back and savor these treasures.

Love,
Mike & Kate
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11 of the Best Shops in the CLE for Last-Minute Christmas Gifts

Thursday, December 21, 2017

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It's that time of year: Time for last-minute gift-buyers to panic! My fellow Clevelanders, you've got lots of options that aren't Target or the mall or picking up a gift card from CVS (though I do love me a good old-fashioned gift card). You may be cutting it close, but that doesn't mean you can't shop small. Here are a few of my favorite local shops, all open this weekend before Christmas's arrival. 

1. Banyan Tree

By now, every Cleveland gal knows of Banyan Tree, repeatedly voted the city's best boutique on various such lists. From on-trend clothing to quirky accessories to lifestyle & homegoods (think lots of CLE-themed bar items!), Banyan Tree is a one-stop shop for any lady on your list. With three locations, there's probably one pretty nearby, too. (2242 Professor Ave., Tremont, open Fri./Sat. 10am -9pm, & Sun. 11am-5pm | 162 Main St., Westlake, open Fri./Sat. 10am-9pm & Sun. 11am-6pm 24677 Cedar Rd., Lyndhurst, open Fri./Sat. 10am-9pm & Sun. 11am-5pm)

2. Big Fun

Haven't yet shopped for the kid on your list... or the kid-at-heart on your list? Big Fun is the spot to shop, stuffed with modern-day toys & vintage gems alike. You'll find every action figure imaginable, giant Star Wars characters, old issues of Disney Adventures magazines, joke items & penny candies, pretty paper goods, & basically anything & everything in between. Needless to say, shopping at Big Fun is, well, big fun. (1814 Coventry Rd., Coventry, open Fri./Sat. 11am-10pm & Sun. 11am-8pm)


3. City Buddha

If you're looking for candles, crystals, beaded jewelry, wall hangings, scarves, & the like, City Buddha is the place to try. This spacious East Side store is jewel-toned & incense-scented, & as its name suggests, it specializes in items with an Asian flair. prices range from low to high, so you're bound to find something within your gift-giving price range. (1807 Coventry Rd., Coventry, open Fri./Sat. 11am-9pm & Sun. 11am-7pm) 


4. Evie Lou

Whether you're shopping for your mom, your wife, or your best friend, you're likely to find something for her within this surprisingly expansive boutique with locations on both the East & West sides. They're primarily a clothing boutique specializing in upscale but comfortable, wearable clothing (think aspiring Stevie Nicks types), but they also carry a variety of jewelry & accessories, too. (2509 Professor Ave., Tremont, open Fri./Sat. 11am-8pm, & Sun.12-4pm | 20075 Chagrin Blvd., Shaker Heights, open Fri./Sat. 10:30am-6:30pm & Sun.12-4pm)

5. Intro Boutique

This shop in the 5th Street Arcades has been open just over a year, & while the space isn't very big, they're making great use of it with a curated selection of clothing, candles, accessories, & homegoods, all at surprisingly affordable prices. Think Francesca's bit with a more minimalist, less corporate vibe. And it's owned by a friend of a friend! (530 Euclid Ave #34, Downtown, open Fri./Sat. 10am-6pm & Sun. 10am-4pm)

6. Lilly Handmade Chocolates

Perfect last-minute gifts: chocolate, beer, wine. Lilly has all three... & more. From truffles to bars to bark, they've got tons of varieties of couture chocolate to choose from (sugared plums for me, please!), & they can help you pair it with the perfect craft beer or fine wine for a classy, delicious gift that definitely doesn't look last-minute. (761 Starkweather Ave., Tremont, open Fri./Sat. 12-10pm; closed Sunday)

7. Lovely Paperie & Gifts

For all things paper-related (& paper-related-adjacent, like pens, tumblers, totes, & other such knick-knacks), Lovely Paperie is the best place in town. It's bright & beautiful, with high-quality curation at mostly-very-affordable prices. They also sell some of those go-to gift brands your older sister & your aunt love, like Vera Bradley & Nora Fleming. (19315 Detroit Rd., Rocky River, open Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 10am-5pm, closed Sunday)

8. Océanne Jewelry

I've written before about my love of this local jewelry artist originally form France. Her work is both classic & trendy at the same time, in familiar shapes & styles but always with a very of-the-moment vibe. Expect pieces that are primarily gold-toned in varying price points, plus lots of other fun, giftable goodies that make her new storefront more than just a jewelry shop. (6515 Detroit Rd., Gordon Square, open Fri,/Sat., 11am-8pm, & Sun. 12-5pm)

9. Room Service

This shop is freaking beautiful, & it's as much a work of art as the items within it, regularly redesigned to be not just a shopping trip but an experience. From statement watches to baby clothes to their "French pantry" collection, this husband-&-wife owned boutique is full of the unexpected, the unusual, & the unique. (2078 W. 25th St., Ohio City, open Fri. 11am-7pm, Sat. 11am-8pm, & Sun, 11am-6pm)


10. Visible Voice Books

I love me a good independent bookstore, & while Cleveland has a few great ones, I'm partial to the one on the street where I live. It reopened just this summer after a few years off, & its beautiful new space is modern & cozy at the same time. They sell both new & used books (& buy the latter), & if they don't have it in stock, they can order it for you - though probably not in time for Christmas! (2258 Professor Ave., Tremont, open Fri., 12-10pm, Sat., 11am-10pm, & Sun. 11am-5pm) 

11. Wild Cactus Boutique

This newish Ohio City shop features both new & vintage pieces that scream Free-People-meets-Pacific-Northwest-in-the-'90s. This is where you go to snag a Christmas gift for your coolest friend... or yourself, once you're thoroughly exhausted from shopping for everyone else. (2138 W. 25th St., Ohio City, open Fri./Sat. 11am-6pm & Sun. 11am-5pm)

Am I missing any of your favorites? Leave a comment & let me know where you'll be grabbing your last-minute gifts from this weekend. And merry Christmas!

Images from: @introboutique@wildcactus_boutique; &  @oceannejewelry
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All I Want for Christmukkah Is...

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

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There are just 11 days until Christmas - & Hanukkah began yesterday! Now that the holiday season is in full swing - & I finally have the time to sit down & focus on the holiday season - I've put together my annual holiday wishlist. At 33, I hardly expect gifts anymore - but it's fun to imagine that Santa cares, right? And let's be honest: If these items don't end up under my tree, I may order them for myself anyway!
  1. HD Camera Lens Kit 5 in 1 for iPhone: I can't afford a new iPhone right now, but boy, am I dying for portrait mode! This relatively inexpensive lens set seems like a great way to fake it until I can spring for a new phone (which won't be for awhile). 
  2. Cleveland AF Crewneck SweatshirtI don't often wear sweatshirts (are there 33-year-olds who do?), but I know this one would get a lot of wear. I love Emily Roggenburk's prints, too, but my walls are nearly full, & this item is calling my name. 
  3. Marc Fisher Yommi Chelsea BootieFellow blogger Kimi has been wearing these for months now, & I swoon over them every time she posts a pic. They're on sale, but still slightly anove my price point at the moment.
  4. Glossier Boy BrowFine, fine, fine, I've resisted the global Glossier obsession, but I'm pretty interested in this cult-favorite product. I usually use E.L.F. on my brows, & for $3, it works great, but I wouldn't hate giving this stuff a try.
  5. The Sun and Her FlowersRupi Kaur's last book of poetry was one of my favorites of the year, & I can't wait to own her newest one. At just $7, it's got to end up on my bookshelf sooner or later. 
  6. FabFitFun subscription: This was my favorite of all the many subscription boxes I've tried, but I promised Mike I'd take it easy on them this year. If someone gifted me a subscription, though, that's technically a loophole, right...? 
  7. Bobeau One-Button Fleece Wrap Cardigan: A friend wore this to brunch the day after my wedding, & I immediately bought one in olive - but I like it so much that I also want it in heather charcoal, burgundy stem, &/or black.
  8. Baleen Levy Necklace: The last thing I need is more necklaces, but this is a wish list, right? Not a need list. This pretty, geometric bauble from Seattle-based shop Moorea Seal is the latest piece of jewelry to give me heart eyes. 
  9. Kanguru Glow-in-the-Dark Throw Blanket: Another thing I have plenty of: blankets. But this one glows in the dark, so I extra want it. It looks so cozy, & it's got constellations on it, & I just wanna cuddle up in the couch beneath it.  
  10. Natori Classic Pajama Set: I've long been wanting a nice pair of PJs to at least partially replace my current nighttime wardrobe of sweatpants & old T-shirts - but so far, this is the only pair I've found that I really like!
What's on your holiday wishlist this year? 
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My 6 Favorite Christmas Movies... Plus an Embarrassing New Holiday Addiction

Monday, December 11, 2017

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I've got to tell you a secret: I don't watch black & white movies. I don't know why exactly; I have no doubt that many of them are wonderful & heartwarming - but it's just never appealed to me to watch a film that doesn't show the full-color joy of life, especially at Christmastime. So no, you won't find any classics on this list - but you will find a few colorful favorites that I find myself watching year after year after year... & sometimes as early/late as July.
 

Home Alone

It's a well-known fact that Home Alone is one of my all-time favorite movies, period, & not just at Christmas. I know almost the entire movie by heart, & don't come at me with those BuzzFeed lists of "stuff you never noticed" about this movie because I have noticed. I've been "Buzz, your girlfriend, woof"-ing since I was 17, at the latest, & I shed real tears when John Heard passed away this year.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Our Idiot-in-Chief's brief cameo aside, I truly believe that Home Alone 2 is one of the most perfect sequels in American film history (even though, by this point, I believe the elder McAllisters to be woefully unqualified parental units). Also, I once purchased a winter coat that a then-boyfriend told me made me look like the Pigeon Lady.

Elf

When I first saw this Will Ferrell comedy, I just didn't get it. The grown man in an elf suit, the spaghetti with maple syrup, the animated narwhal... like, whaaaat? Now, though, this is one of my favorite modern-day classics, to be quoted all year long. Don't think I don't yell, "I know him!" every single time I see Santa Claus alllll throughout the Christmas season.

Love Actually

I know, I know, this film is outdated & fairly problematic in more than a few ways, but I give it a pass because, hey, a lot of the early 2000s was fairly problematic - & so much of this movie is so adorable that I can overlook the rest of it (I'm lookin' at you, weird scene with Keira Knightley & Andrew Lincoln). That scene of Hugh Grant shimmying through the prime minister's mansion? Priceless.

The Santa Clause

I find this plotline to be weirdly sort of genius, & here's another secret: As a kid, I had a huge crush on the actor who played the head of the "Elves with Attitude" team. I watched this movie over & over because of it. These days, though, I just like Tim Allen as a bumbling accidental Santa & Elf Judy as his adorable little cocoa-making sidekick. "Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing."

A Christmas Story

As a proud Clevelander, I love this movie, which was filmed right here in my neighborhood. And as an American Jew, I spent a lotttt of time watching this movie on repeat on Christmas Day, when it played on TV all day long. As this leg-lamp-loving man in Iowa says, "Nothing says Christmas like the soft glow of electric sex!"

This holiday season, I'm also watching a few Christmas movies of the absolute cheesiest variety - the Hallmark kind! My coworker Marissa & I binged Snow Bride late night in our hotel while we were on a work trip last week, & I just devoured Netflix's A Christmas Prince (which, yes, made me cry). Got any recommendations for more in this vein? I want to watch as many as I can find!

And tell me: What are your favorite Christmas movies?
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My 2017 Cleveland Gift Guide: Give a Little CLE this Holiday!

Monday, November 20, 2017

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Listen up, Clevelanders, it's that time of year again! With the holidays fast-approaching, I've pulled together the second annual Greatest Escapist's Cleveland Gift Guide. If some of it looks familiar, well, that's because it is: So much of the 2016 guide was still wonderful & relevant that I've included it again here, rounded out with new trinkets, tchotchkes, & other Cleveland goodies for that Northeast Ohio-lover in your life.

Keep in mind that these aren't necessarily items made in Cleveland (though most of them are). They're items about Cleveland, showing off that 216 love in a variety of ways. Plenty of other gift guides will tell you where to find Cleveland-made soaps & clothing & candles & other items - but these ones are Cleveland-centric themselves.


To Eat

  1. In the Kitchen with Cleveland's Favorite Chefs by Maria Isabella: This locally focused cookbook asks 35 Northeast Ohio chefs the same question: "If you were suddenly to get a call at home from good friends who wanted to stop by, what would you prepare for them in one hour or less?" Make your own versions of recipes shared by Michael Symon, Zach Bruell, Jonathon Sawyer, & other CLE foodie faves.
       
  2. "Cleveland is Delicious" Chef's Apron from CLE Clothing Co.: Your favorite local home chef (or, heck, restaurant chef!) needs this Cleveland-inspired apron ($25), perfect for grilling out kielbasa & pierogi on holiday weekends. Just maybe, uh, think twice about snagging this for the vegetarian foodie in your life, please.
       
  3. Six-Pack of BBQ Sauce from the Winking Lizard: Have you ever had this BBQ sauce? If you've never had this BBQ sauce, stop what you're doing - yes, right now - & get thee to the Lizard, stat. The restaurant, repeat winner of local Best Wings awards, also has, in my humble opinion, the best BBQ sauce on the planet. A six-pack under the tree ($18) will keep your favorite Cleveland foodie rollin' in BBQ well into 2018.
       
  4. The 2018 Cleveland Independents Deck: For a few years in a row now, independent Cleveland restaurants banded together to create this deck of 52 cards ($29.95), which offers savings at 49 of Northeast Ohio's best restaurants. Each card saves you $10 on any $30 food purchase (tax & gratuity not included) at a different local joint - & it even includes two jokers so you can get repeat savings at your faves!

To Decorate

  1. Home Sweet Ohio Print from Natterdoodle: Hand-lettering is all the rage these days, & when it comes to Clevelanders doing a bang-up job of it, no one's doing it quite like local artist Natalie Keller Pariano. This sweet print, lettered atop a map of the great Buckeye State, is available in two sizes ($15 - $20) & printed on recycled cardstock. Perfect for the Clevelander who loves more than just Cleveland.
       
  2. The Guardians Wall Clock by Christina Sadowski: This Etsy seller has tons of Cleveland-related inventory, but this 10" wall clock is my favorite ($45). It's available in black or white frames, with hands to match, & featuring a gorgeous image of the Guardians of Traffic that watch over downtown Cleveland's Lorain-Carnegie Bridge.
      
  3. A Christmas Story Leg Lamp: Clevelanders love their leg lamps, & I am no exception, having nearly cried with joy when I received my "major award" as a wedding gift. The movie A Christmas Story was filmed in Cleveland's Tremont neighborhood & is now a local museum. Though a full-sized leg lamp costs a whopping $199.99, there are more cost-effective options, like a desk lamp ($99) & even a nightlight ($14.99). Careful, they're frah-jee-lay!
       
  4. District Collection Print from Cuyahoga Collective: If the Clevelander on your holiday gift list loves not just the city but his or her particular corner of it, this is the perfect gift for hyperlocal representation. With 22 options to choose from (both neighborhoods & suburbs included), they're almost sure to have a 13x19 print ($18) of your favorite Clevelander's favorite part of Cleveland.
      
  5. Cleveland Snow Globes from ApeMade: I collect city-themed snow globes, so I'm gonna neeeeed one of these ($74.95). Available in both White Downtown & the sort-of-hilarious Gray Steel Mills, these magical items are 3D printed with painted maple bases. Appropriately, the steel mill version includes black & rust glitter. Shipping is expensive ($17.95) but, in my opinion, wholly worth it to own one of these Clevelandy beauties.


To Wear   

  1. "Cleveland or Nowhere" Tee from Knowlita: LeBron James made this shirt famous when he wore it to Game 6 of the 2016 World Series last fall. There are lots & lots of locally made Cleveland T-shirt options (for much less money!), but if you've just gotta have what the King's wearing, you can score this simply but sassy cotton graphic tee ($58) from Saks Fifth Avenue
          
  2. "Cleveland is Home" High-Top Chucks from Fresh Brewed Tees: In case it's not enough to broadcast your Cleveland love across your chest, now you can say it with your feet, too, in this pair of custom Chuck Taylors ($99), available in both men's & women's sizes. Just remember not to ruin them in the muck of our Cleveland winters!
      
  3. "Our Lil' Pierogi" Onesie from Lil' Burritos: Your favorite Cleveland baby should rep your favorite Cleveland food. This local kidswear company ships all its onesies wrapped in aluminum foil... to look like actual burritos, of course! This bright red outfit ($18) features a joyful, babushka-wearing pierogi family of three, & while it doesn't explicitly mention the CLE, well, this city is basically synonymous with pierogi by now, right? (Psst: The "our" is a tiny kielbasa!
       
  4. CLE Skyline Necklace from CLE CLothing Co.: "Come see both of our buildings...!" Voted a Best of Cleveland item by Cleveland Magazine, this dainty necklace ($30) features Terminal Tower, 200 Public Square, & Key Tower. It's made of stainless steel & available in both gold & silver tones - & it fits handily into a Christmas stocking.
       
  5. Guardians of Transportation Neckties from ApeMade: Available in nine colors, these satin-finish polyester ($28.95) ties are screenprinted by hand & feature Cleveland's one of the Lorain-Carnegie Bridge's famous art deco pylons. Let's just say that my husband is lucky I didn't find these before our wedding.
      
  6. Ohio Map Wood Tie Bar from Bearded Woodcraft: Lest the Guardians tie be a little bit too much Cleveland for your tastes - or if you want to double up & get extra Clevelandy - this tiny, wooden tie bar is made in Columbus but solidly reps the CLE. I could actually include everything from this brand in this guide; go check them out for all things handmade & Ohio-loving.
       
  7. JR Smith Tattoo Shirtless Shirt from Fresh Brewed Tees: This is literally the tackiest & most wonderful Cleveland item I've ever laid eyes upon, & I only wish I knew someone ridiculous/brave enough to wear it. If you know such an individual, please, please, please snatch up this limited-edition T-shirt made to look like Cavs' small forward JR Smith's tattooed chest ($34.99), as seen in the flesh at the 2016 Cavs parade. It's even JR-approved! 


To Drink

  1. Great Lakes Brewery's Beer School: Most Clevelanders have been on GLBC's brewery tour, but they can step it up a notch with Beer School ($35), which provides a full tour of the production brewery & a tasting of six beers, plus a two-hour course (snacks included!) on the history of the company & the brewing process. All "students" leave with a T-shirt, a tasting glass, and some serious beer knowledge.
        
  2. Local Cocktail Mixes from Pope's Kitchen:Your booze deserves the best - & the Clevelandiest! Put together a gift basket of mixers from Pope's, a growing regional brand that uses fresh local ingredients in all their products. Try the Bloody Mary or chill a little with the Mellow Mary ($4-$11); get sugared up with the Strawberry Daiquiri mix ($11); or go a little unusual with a syrup like like lavender lemon or orange habanero ($10).
         
  3. Fifty Must-Try Craft Beers of Ohio by Rick Armon: Sure, this new release is available on Kindle, but don't the CLE beer-lovers on your list deserve a paperback copy ($17.95) to mark off their progress as they drink their way through? Armon's roundup also includes brewer profiles, Cleveland-centric food pairings, & more. Cheers!
       
  4. CLE Skyline Wine Glasses from 2CraftyHons: Yes, there are tons of options for CLE-themed drinking glasses, but I especially like these hand-etched, made-to-order options from Etsy. They come in other cities' skylines, too, but do other cities even really matter...?
       
  5. Cleveland Drinks Card GameWarning: Only Clevelanders will understand this game - but it's sure to get a room full of them laughing & drinking - & pretty quickly drunk. The deck ($20) was co-created by the local comedian who coined the phrase "Factory of Sadness" (the Browns), so you know it's gonna be a funny one. Rules include, for example, "10 Cent Beer Night: Whoever has the cheapest beverage drinks."


To Stuff a Stocking

  1. Cleveland Babe Canvas Pouch from Oceanne JewelryMake it easy for your favorite makeup-toting Clevelander to take her love of the city on the go with this cute canvas pouch ($15) from local maker Anne Harrill. Hew new storefront recently opened in Gordon Square, so if you want to go beyond this adorable item, go check her out in person. May I recommend the Cleveland is My Paris necklace ($48)?
       
  2. Peanut Butter Coffee Porter Soy Candle from Weird Beard Candle Co.If you've ever enjoyed a pint (or two or three) of Willoughby Brewing Co.'s Peanut Butter Coffee Porter ($14), you'll love the scent of the 8oz soy candle it inspired. I burn it throughout the winter to keep my apartment smelling cozy & delicious & extraordinarily Clevelandy.
      
  3. "Bitch Please I'm From Cleveland" Mug from Banyan TreeI own this in tote bag form & carry my laptop around in it every day, but I can't seem to find it available anywhere online. Enter, instead, this scappy little mug ($16), which will keep your coffee warm and let everyone know which city you love most.
      
  4. Ohio Shaped Bottle Opener Keychain from Midwest Opener Co.Never struggle to open your favorite locally made craft beer again! This Ohio-shaped bottle opener is available in both a polished & tumbled finish, with or without a a heart over your city of choice ($9.99 - $12.49). At 2" x 3" & made of stainless steel, it'll look great adorning a keyring and opening a cold one.
      
  5. Cleveland Snow Soy Candle from the Cleveland Candle Co.Fine, fine, Cleveland probably smells the same as other snowy cities - but this fun take on a snowy Northeast Ohio day ($15) will keep your home feeling cozy & smelling fresh as the flakes fall outside your window. Other locally inspired scents include CLE Magic, Ohio Harvest, & Lake Erie.


Just for Fun

  1. Cleveland in a BoxI've now sent two of these customizable Cleveland boxes as gifts, one to a friend living out of state & another to friends who just bought a house. Choose from their selections of local & iconic Cleveland goods, from Dichotomy Popcorn to Cleveland tees to Pope's Hot sauce & beyond. It's $30 for a box of five items or $50 for a box of 10 - & they ship worldwide!
       
  2. 100 Things to Do in Cleveland Before You Die by Nikki DelamotteThis 2016 release ($12.94) is exactly what it sounds like: a list of the very best Cleveland has to offer. The only problem? Plenty of new & exciting places have opened up since the book's publication! Still, this is a perfect starting point for new Clevelanders, as well as for longtime residents who want to be sure they're experiencing the city's best.
      
  3. Subscription to Cleveland MagazineFull disclosure: I interned here in the summer of 2007, just before I first moved to D.C., & it marked the summer I fell in love with the CLE. I still read the magazine religiously to see what's new & cool not just in Cleveland but across Northeast Ohio. A new yearlong subscription is $14, which is 75% off the cover price.
      
  4. Memberships, Subscriptions, & Event TicketsInstead of loading up your loved ones with more stuff, consider investing in experiences instead. Check out tickets to shows at Playhouse Square or Cavs games, or memberships to any of Cleveland's many museums, the Botanical Gardens, the Zoological Society, the Great Lakes Science Center, the Cleveland Orchestra... the list is endless.
      
  5. You Gotta Know Cleveland Sports: Your favorite Cleveland sports aficionado will love this 500-question sports trivia game ($19.95) - & hopefully they've got a similarly sports-loving friend to play it against. They can play the game the "official" way (first one to 21 points wins), or just ask their friends the questions over a few (local, of course) beers. Playyyyy ball!
      
  6. Charlie Browns Cornhole Set from CLE Clothing Co.: See if you can score better than CLE's not-so-beloved-these-days football team; it shouldn't be too difficult to one-up, considering their longtime losing streak! Painted in Browns colors in the style of the perpetually mopey Peanuts character, this handmade cornhole set ($225) is a big-ticket item sure to bring oohs, ahhs, & "Ugh, the Browns" lamentations. 
So there you have it! Will any of these make it under your tree this year (or next to your menorah, depending on how you handle the holiday season)? And if you've got Cleveland favorites, tell me: What other CLE-themed gifts would you add to the list?

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Leg Lamps of Cleveland: A Photo Essay for Christmas

Friday, December 25, 2015

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As an American Jew, I am well acquainted with the classic holiday film A Christmas Story, which plays all day long, on repeat, on Christmas Day. Let's just say I've seen it more than a few times.

Did you know that A Christmas Story was filmed right here in Cleveland? Even cooler, it was filmed in my neighborhood! When you drive into Tremont, there's a sign pointing you toward various parts of town - including the Christmas Story House, now a museum that offers tours, an annual 5k, & a gift shop full of "Major Award" leg lamps.

Despite the fact that the Christmas Story House is a mere .8 miles away from my own home, I am ashamed to say that I've not yet been. I meant to go this holiday season, I did! But as so often happens, life got away from me & I never made it over there.

Luckily, Cleveland's Christmas Story pride is strong, & the city - especially my neighborhood - is chock full of leg lamps come Christmastime. They're everywhere, you guys. Everywhere. They're in the windows of homes & bars & office buildings. They come in the form of nightlights & keychains & coffee mugs. They're on T-shirts & on bags (I want all of these) & even tattooed upon flesh

I, unsurprisingly, find this endlessly quirky & charming, & once I started to realize how many of them are on display across town, I started documenting them to share with the world. Here, I've gathered for you photos of every leg lamp I could photograph, though there are many, many more that I was unable to capture. There's a house near the highway that has three of them in the front windows - & these things sell for $170 a pop!

Merry Christmas, Cleveland. Don't stick your tongue to frozen flagpoles (though it wouldn't matter, in this weather) & please, please: Don't shoot your eye out.
 
This purdy leg lamp sits atop the bar at Ty Fun restaurant in Tremont.

This one's all lit up at Deagan's Kitchen in Lakewood.


Git yerself a tiny version of the Major Award at Banyan Tree in Tremont!

They're keeping the (leg) light on for you at The Treehouse in Tremont.

Leg lamps aren't just for bars! This one lights up a neighbor's window.

This leg lamp, in the window of a Tremont real estate business, can be seen only in daylight.

This one passed us on a float in the Light Up Lakewood parade earlier this month.

No room for a lamp? You can still show your love with a bottle opener.


My friend Lindsey sent me this pic of a glass leg lamp candle holder. Fancy!

These tiny leg lamp replicas line the bar inside Deagan's.

Banyan Tree sells tiny versions but keeps the big one on full display for Christmas ambiance.

A Great Lake sign & a leg lamp: What could be more Cleveland than these scene at Press Wine Bar?

This one's on display in the window of an old church converted into an office building in Tremont.

This one's in the window of the fanciest loft apartment in Tremont, of which I'm forever jealous.

Waiting for a cab outside my favorite coffee shop, Tremont's Civilization, & its leg lamp

(PS: This is just a Cleveland thing, right? Your city isn't full of leg lamps come Christmas...? OK, that's what I thought. Just checking.)
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How I Accidentally Already Ruined Christmas

Thursday, December 24, 2015

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I did something I never, ever do yesterday: I  clicked "decline" on an incoming phone call from my mom & texted, "Don't want to talk right now." Thankfully, she was understanding, as she always is, & I retreated back into a hole of sadness & moping.

Why?

Because I ruined Christmas, & Christmas hasn't even come yet.

Wait, let me back up. Mike left for D.C. yesterday with his parents & sister, where they're visiting aunts, uncles, & his grandmother. He'll of course be gone, then, on Christmas Day, so we decided we'd just do our own little version of Christmas upon his return - recreate the Christmas we would've spent together, really do it up.

He won't be back until late night, so we figured that would be our "Christmas Eve" - we'll open one gift apiece & we'll put together the gingerbread house from the kit my mom gifted us for Hanukkah (#interfaithlife); the next day was to be "Christmas Day," complete with wearing new flannel PJs & making brunch together & maybe going to the movies & just... doing everything we would do on Christmas, except a day later.

But yesterday, a couple of hours after Mike hit the road, I realized with a terrible start: I think we got the dates wrong. 

I thought he was coming home Saturday night & that we'd do a Saturday/Sunday Christmas. In actuality, it turns out, Mike gets home Sunday night & had been planning for a Sunday/Monday Christmas. But I don't have Monday off of work. We just got our wires completely crossed, & the result is that we have no time for our own Christmas.

This is such a thing that I would do.

And it means that when he gets home late on Sunday night, we have to squish everything into an hour or two - the gifts, at least, though we probably won't have time for the rest. Maybe we'll watch his favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard, on Netflix or something, but we certainly won't have time to see a movie in the theater. And why bother with a gingerbread house?

When I realized this, I basically lost my shit, to use official terminology.

I was furious with myself for getting this wrong, & I was devastated to realize we wouldn't get to have our first a Christmas together, even a fake one. I cried hard. I sent a bunch of mopey text messages. I took a nap & woke up groggy & angry. I returned our holiday pajamas to Target. I would've thrown away the gingerbread house kit, too, but I was too sad & lazy & tired to go down to the Dumpster by the time I remembered that I wanted to do it. And then I hunkered down in a book for hours, blocking out the world.

Today, I woke up less angry but still really, really disappointed. I'm still excited to give Mike the gifts I bought him, but this... doesn't count as a Christmas, not really. And look, I still feel fortunate & blessed & all of that, so don't give me grief about gratefulness; I know I have a great life & an incredible love & not a damn thing to complain about, & for all that, I am immensely thankful. But I still can't help but be really bummed about the sudden lack of celebration, especially after we'd gotten so excited about our plans together.

Perhaps this is a reminder that Jews shouldn't celebrate Christmas, or at least a lesson to me to start paying closer attention to our joint Google Calendar. In the meantime, merry Christmas. I'll be watching Top Chef reruns & reading every book & eating my body weight in cookies. Gotta celebrate somehow, right?
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I'm Published in Woman's Day Magazine!

Monday, December 7, 2015

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Ornament from Fusioned Family on Etsy

When I was 11, my dream job was to write for Woman's Day magazine. Maybe that's a strange career aspiration for a tween, but I've long loved print magazines - the way they feel in my hands, the way they help me escape from reality, the ideas they give me & the products they introduce... hey, that's probably why I majored in magazine journalism in college.

I'm probably past the days of believing that I'll ever work for a magazine, particularly as I no longer have any desire to live in new York City, where most of them are headquartered. One big difference between age 11 & age 31? Somewhere along the way, someone invented the Internet, which means I can submit my writing for publication from all the way over here in Cleveland. Sure, it may not end up in the glossy, shiny print edition - but seeing my own name in a byline still gives me (& 11-year-old me) a pretty big rush.

All this to say that on Friday afternoon, I was published on Woman's Day's website, writing about my longstanding love of Christmas & my first interfaith holiday celebration with my lapsed-Catholic boyfriend. I hope you'll check it out!

* * * 

PS: While we're on the topic of December holidays, I was also published today on the United Church of Christ's New Sacred Blog, talking about the times when "Merry Christmas" does & doesn't offend me. Thanks to their editor, my friend Marchae, for helping me work a Facebook rant into a coherent personal essay!
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What Your Favorite Christmas Song Says About You

Thursday, December 8, 2011

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  1. "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" (from the movie)
    Though you're too old for both of them, you like rhymes & cartoons (but hopefully not the version where Jim Carrey is green & furry). Despite your rhyming genius, you have a limited vocabulary, rhyming "nasty" with "wasty," & you likely believe that "arsenic sauce" is a spicier version of Tabasco. 

  2. "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" (by Brenda Lee)
    You are inventive & dancy, & you long to host boisterous holiday parties attended by cardboard cut-outs of Michael Jordan.

  3. "Blue Christmas" (by Elvis Presley)
    You are depressing. No, seriously. I mean, maybe you also just really like classic rock, but, dude, this song is a bummer. My apologies to you & the King.

  4. "Frosty the Snowman" (by Gene Autry)
    Slightly delusional, you're known for muttering to yourself & carrying on conversations with stray cats & trying to get Parson Brown to marry you before he melts. Errr, "while he's in town."

  5. "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" (by Elmo and Patsy)
    You enjoy whoopee cushions & plastic poop &, look, I'm just going to give it to you straight: You're the relative everyone wishes they didn't have to invite to Christmas dinner.

  6. "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (by Band Aid)
    You like to think of yourself as a big-hearted philanthropist, but face it: You are also religiously intolerant. This song is possibly the most ignorant display of multi-religious denominationalism on holiday rotation, masked by lyrics of hope & help. No, they don't know it's Christmas because they're not Christian.

  7. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" (by any duo ever)
    "Say what's in this drink?" GHB. You assault women in your spare time, but only under the cover of poor weather conditions.

  8. "Carol of the Bells"(by people who hate me)
    A Christmas purist, you may also be a cast member of Home Alone and/or a criminal. This song sounds like mayhem & evil & Manheim Steamroller & sometimes appears in my most dramatic of nightmares.

  9. "All I Want for Christmas Is You" (by Mariah Carey)
    The other kind of Christmas purist, you are likely a former teenybopper now in your mid- to late-20s who feels strongly that Mariah Carey's Christmas classic is the reigning holiday pop song - heck, the only holiday pop song. Jessica Simpson who? If, however, your favorite is the newly released Mariah Carey-hitting-on-underage-Justin-Bieber version, there are two other options: A) You're 12, or B) You're a pervert.

  10. "Last Christmas" (by Wham!)
    You're me.*

    *ONLY THE WHAM VERSION COUNTS.
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