I Am the Pigeon Lady.

Monday, December 6, 2010

It snows here. A lot. I'd almost forgotten, what with D.C.'s practically-snow-free-save-last-winter's-freak-snowstorm weather.

I avoid shoveling snow whenever possible (sorry, Mom), so I try to find tricky workarounds whenever possible. Today, for example, I used a broom on our back deck. And though I've got no place to be, I braved the cold & precipitation to brush off my car so that I'd have less to do later, when I actually do need to get someplace in a hurry. I know, I'm like the MacGyver of winter.

I scared my dog, too, because I dressed like a cross between a chimney sweep & the little kid from "A Christmas Story" who can't put his arms down. Though fashion bloggers may claim it's possible to look trendy in the dead of winter, I strongly suspect those fashion bloggers don't live in the Great Lakes region. My ensemble was as follows:
  • A red woolen scarf. This was the most normal of my attire.

  • Brown tweed & leather gloves. Also normal, though they clashed with the red. Heinously.

  • Leggings. Not the normal cotton or tights kind but some weird, elastic, work-outy kind I bought for $5 from a store off the Rhode Island Ave. Metro that closely resembled a Deb or a Dots. High-end, I know. I typically only wear them to bed.

  • A maroon peacoat my boyfriend says makes me look resemble the pigeon lady from "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York." I'm not going to show you a picture of me wearing it because I'm aaaactually self-conscious about this. To my knowledge, the actual pigeon lady is not:


  • RED GALOSHES. They matched the scarf, but... dude, they're red galoshes. In the winter. In case you're one of those West Coasters who thinks 50 degrees is cold, you should know that galoshes do not winter snowboots make. And of course, they look fairly absurd.

  • And the crowning glory: a furry, black & yellow houndstooth hat purchased in a Steelers store during my impromptu weekend visit to Pittsburgh. DON'T KILL ME, Browns fans! I'm one of you! I just couldn't resist. Ain't she a beaut?
Put all these together & you've got a blind Russian hobo with a knack for snow trickery. The MacGyver of winter.

Try not to be too jealous of my dashing combination of smarts & style.

22 comments:

  1. ha! this is truly amazing. please come to DC in this outfit, stat.

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  2. Hahahahah the pigeon lady! So epic.

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  3. Oh, my gosh! The pigeon lady! That's just about the only thing I remember from those Home Alone movies. She freaked me out.

    I think we needed a full picture on this one. ;)

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  4. I am actually looking for a hat similar to the one you have, so I'm not hatin'. It gets coooooold.

    *cue sweeping cinematic music from when Kevin wakes up on Christmas and goes to give the bird lady presents and they hug and all the pigeons swarm up around them*

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  5. HOME ALONE 2!! Oh man. My childhood came rushing back at me.

    Anyways, I live in Florida and have been complaing all day about it being 57 degrees earlier today. Um, sorry?

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  6. I have a hat a lot like that... except it's red! We call them "bomber" hats for some reason!? I think they are technically called "mad bomber" hats but that's just a dreadful name for a hat if you ask me. I know just what you mean about bundling up... I get to the point where I feel like i'm choking and I hate it so I have to go inside to undo the scarf & etc. It's a dreadful feeling, really.

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  7. I do believe you owe us a pic of the entire ensemble!

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  8. I agree that a picture of the ensemble is totally necessary. The only reason I ever pass as fashionable in winter is because all of my winter accessories are black, from boots to gloves, to coats, to snowpants. All black. I just end up looking like a burnt marshmallow. (aka, yummy!)

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  9. I want to see those gloves! Let's just see the whole get-up. By the way, I thought at first you were referring to the pigeon lady from Mary Poppins...

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  10. It's 50 degrees in Louisiana, and I'm already wearing snow boots. Brrrrr! :)

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  11. I just look like the Nanook of the North, green coat with giant furry hood, the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor DreamScarf wrapped around my neck and often the lower half of my face, and gloves...

    Still haven't figure out how to keep the bottom half of my body warm -- I hate pants SO much that I refuse to wear more than one layer of them.

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  12. At least you're warm! No snow in DC yet, but it's pretty cold out. I've been wearing more than one pair of gloves at a time to keep warm lol. No judgement here ;)

    xx,
    Delilah

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  13. Hahaha, I love your boyfriend for thinking that you look like a Pigeon Lady because now you got me thinking you do look like her. ;)

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  14. I totally agree - rubber boots are NOT winter boots!

    I have the same hat but its sheep skin (fur on the inside, suede on the outside). I'm pretty sure my great grandpa who immigrated from rural Poland had something similar.

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  15. Getting all dressed up for winter is a huge adventure in my house. The dogs love playing in the snow and since it snows so rarely here, we've learned to take advantage of it. We get dressed up in half Army-issue winter weather gear, thermal pajama bottoms and just about any other ugly thing we can find in the closet. We always look pretty ridiculous too.

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  16. Hahahah I love it! I want to see photos.

    And I feel ya on the cold... -13*F yesterday.

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  17. I love snow and shoveling it but I bet I wouldn't if I lived with it all winter.

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