Happy Dog = Happy Kate (Please Note: This Post is Not About Canines)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Something you should know about me is that I typically abhor condiments. I do not eat ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, relish, or salad dressing. I do not like marinades or dipping sauces. I sometimes enjoy barbecue sauce, & I make a blanket exception only for sriracha sauce.

It goes without saying, then, that I eat my hot dogs plain. For all these reasons & probably more, you'd think a gal like me would absolutely despise the idea of eating at a hot dog restaurant that offers 50 toppings.

As it turns out, you would be wrong.

On Saturday, I visited Cleveland's Happy Dog, a hot dog bar & restaurant that only offers hot dogs, veggie dogs, tater tots & alcohol. For a meager sum of $5, you order up a dog loaded with whatever you want, bubbling in your choices on an order sheet that's much more fun than voting ballots & college exams, its sober bubble-sheet counterparts.

But because I don't like ketchup or mustard or mayonnaise or relish, I had to get creative:

We submitted our orders (I should admit that my wacky peanut butter/onions/mole sauce/bacon combo was not an invention of my own but rather was one of Happy Dog's "suggestive weiners"), along with a few orders of tater tots with sides of - GASP! - dipping sauces! I totally lived on the edge with saffron aioli.

It was so good. And we were so full. But... but we had to order more. Because how can you pass up 46 more toppings?! Thus:*

Needless to say, I almost died. This was gluttony to such a high degree that I almost felt guilty, like I was the perfect candidate to become a Se7en victim. Rather than risking stomach combustion, I took the rest of dog numero dos home. Let me tell you, hot dogs are not a few-hours-after-the-fact food - but that doesn't mean I didn't eat it anyway.


  1. I've never been to the happy dog but I need to get there.

    I can't believe you don't like condiments!

  2. This looks like it belongs on an episode of Dinners, Drive-Ins, and Dives!! And also, delicious. I love hot dogs and would love to experiment!

  3. ok i totally need to warm up my lunch now!!! soo hungry!!!

  4. Woah now. Kate, this is MADNESS. I'm not even much of a hotdog guy and I'd go bananas for this!

  5. Also, why can't I reply to your blog from my blogger/google identity?

  6. OMG. The list of toppings..Kimchee! Vodka Saurkraut! Bok Choy coke stir fry!....AMAZING!

  7. WOW! That is insane! I have never heard of this place...but it sounds like an imaginary world filled with every condiment imaginable and I want to visit!! Saffron aioli, by the way, sounds divine!

  8. How can I get that all in my belly right now Yeah...I said ALL. HA!

  9. Wow, you're braver than brave! :)

  10. This is the most amazing place ever and I want to eat there every day. Can I come over tomorrow?

  11. I don't even like hot dogs but I'm intrigued, if only because I know my husband's head would explode from the awesomeness of a place like that.

    And like San said - you're brave. Very, very brave.

  12. SS,
    OMG. Just OMG. That is a HUGE list of toppings!!!


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