The JDate Disaster: The Final Chapter

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

If you've been following along, you may have read about my "JDate Disaster," which went down two Sundays ago. I got a little, err, irate when JDate refused to refund my money for a five-month subscription I didn't even know I had, having engaged in a verbal battle with a supervisor who treated me like I was something she'd stepped in.

Last night, I finally mustered up the courage to call JDate back to try to convince them to refund me one more month. They'd initially agreed to just one, then reluctantly to two, but for a few reasons, I felt three was the only fair amount & wanted to try to make my case. I was more than a little terrified, in part because my first experience went so awfully - which you can probably tell by some of the absurd
(yet true) things I initially said about the incident.

Anyway, last night I spoke to a different supervisor, hastily explaining my entire story, assuming she knew nothing of it. A few minutes in, I practically choked on my surprise when she said, "Oh, you're the one who wrote the blog post, right? I'm familiar with your account." Turns out someone at JDate stumbled across my post & sent it along to the CEO. Ummm, whaaaat?! She said that after much staff discussion, "everyone" decided I'd received the correct refund. Embarrassingly, it sort of sounded like they all sat around a staff meeting or a lunchtable with copies of my post.

This story has, for me, a happy ending. I made my case (or else I whined a lot), & the woman I spoke with reluctantly but kindly agreed to refund me a third month. She offered me two months free instead, but the truth is that I'm just not interested right now. I'm interested in JDate-the-Service but not JDate-the-Company - I'm not comfortable returning to a company that I feel has maligned & disrespected me so badly. While I may return eventually (though probably only a free account!), I need some time to lick my wounds. And hopefully to give the folks at JDate time to forget what my face looks like so that if I ever do return, no one sends around a staff email going, "OH! THAT BLOGGING GIRL IS BACK!" On second thought, maybe I should just stick to meeting men the old-fashioned way.

Especially because I've been doing a little digging & have found that JDate is no stranger to this sort of online dating debacle. Wikipedia, clearly the Internet's most reliable source, says, "The Better Business Bureau of the Southland, Inc., found Spark Networks services (including JDate) had an unusually high rate of complaints, due in part to 'deceptive sales practices, unauthorized credit card charges, and difficulty canceling services,' etc." I also found this feisty 2004 post from the now-Internet-famous @EstherK lamenting the site's poor customer service. While it's a relief to know I'm not alone, I really wish the Jewish community's most popular online dating forum were a little more reliable.

But whew - I can't wait to see that $120 make its way back to my back account. And you can best believe that from here on out, I'm going to keep watch over my bank account like a mama bear looks out for her cubs.

As I write this, I realize there's every possibility that the folks at JDate will somehow run into this post, too. If so, I'd like to tell them this: Denise is a keeper. She was firm, skeptical & notably annoyed with me, but she was never disrespectful. Even if she hadn't given me that third month back, I probably would've written this retraction post. Honestly, if I'd just spoken with her in the first place, I never would've felt the urge to write the initial post. OK, or I would've - but maybe it wouldn't have been quite so cranky.

Anyway, thanks for the third month. Hasta la vista.*

*Yes, I just ended this post with "Hasta la vista."


  1. Eww that sounds horrible. I just won a free month on Jdate from twitter (haha I know) and now I'm sort of reluctant to accept it. Thoughts?

  2. No way. I just read your initial post and can see how misleading it was to keep you subscribed even after you tried to cancel. I have to wonder, as a web design & usability person, if this was not a business decision (to make their site hard to use).

    At least they were nicer the second time around. A good company would have refunded ALL the months you didn't mean to be subscribed, because good business practices mean sometimes losing money for the sake of good will. If I were an investor, this incident would make me look closely at their business philosophy.

    For meeting people in the DC area, I like - you can look up groups by activity, proximity, or interest. It's easier to get to know others when you're doing something together rather than staring awkwardly across a table having just met! :)

  3. jdate is better than match in handling credit cards etc. back in time i received a free offer that i forgot to cancel and was charged for an extra couple of months but all in all it's my fault i didn't read the fine prints. although i seldomly used online dating, from my experience jdate is great (at leaast in nyc). forget about the 70 bucks you lost, you contributed to a good and honest service.

  4. @ruben - No thanks. I don't know what word you live in that you can afford to throw $70 down the drain to a company that treats you like crap, but I sure can't. JDate is a scam with atrocious customer service. Not a chance in hell.

  5. @goodgirlgoneblog I wouldn't use it1

    @spleeness, I've decided that I DO think it's designed to make it difficult to use and thus rip you off. I've found tons of customer complaints online about them charging after service has been canceled.

  6. JDATE i a complete rip and their staff does not care a whit about Jews, your dating life, or anything other than the almighty dollar. 90% of the women on the site are superficial NY skanks that all want Zach Braff clones with 6 figure salaries. The monthly rates are exorbitant and keep getting bigger annually which seems like a massive practical joke to ensure everyone thinks of us as money grubbing Jesus killers.


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