The JDate Disaster: My $120 Mistake

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Back in December, I was feeling slightly sad & single. Like many sad, single folks around the holiday season, I began to lament my singledom & as a result fell prey to an offer from, the Jewish dating website, which is fairly popular (though I use that term loosely) among Jewish young professionals, especially in big cities. Anyway, they offered a "one week free" special over Chanukah, & I took the bait.

But then I remembered a few things:
A) Online dating is lame.
B) I personally confirmed that online dating is lame by going on one JDate date last summer; it was a huge bust.
C) I hate small talk, which is an online dating staple.
D) Most guys on JDate are schmucks. Or I am a schmuck.
E) And so on & so forth, all the way through the alphabet.
Thus, I opted not to renew my "subscription" to JDate, if you can even call it that, canceling the auto-renew function, which is a bullshit function to begin with. I didn't think about or log in to JDate again for months.

In April, I logged into JDate again & was surprised to find that the email feature worked (one that's only available to paying members). Figuring it must be a glitch, I utilized it to read old messages random Jew-boys had sent me, & then I didn't log in to JDate again. Now, a month later, I still haven't.

Now, I've certainly heard JDate horror stories before, but they typically involve sketchy boys & bad sex. This, however, is a nightmare of a different variety: Today, I spotted a $39.99 charge on my debit card. The money-taker? Why, JDate, of course! I immediately put in a call to corporate, where I was told that because I logged into my account in April & didn't call to ask why I had access to premium features, I wasn't eligible for a refund of any more than one month.

After much anger on my part & much patronization on the part of Amanda, the JDate supervisor I spoke with, I haggled my refund up to two months. But:
A) That's not good enough. They should at least refund me until I first logged into JDate in April.
B) This is highway robbery. It was clear to them I had no idea I'd been subscribed to their services for five months.
C) This woman literally played into every nasty stereotype about Jews & money, but I couldn't bring myself to say so.

I'm going to call back tomorrow to speak to someone else about getting the third month back, someone who I haven't already lost my cool on. I requested that they cancel all my JDate affiliations, deleting my account in its entirety, & I have now committed myself to proclaiming the ills of JDate to every single Jew I've ever met. Either maintain a free account or go out & meet some people in real life: Do NOT give these jerks your credit card information!

And yes, I realize that the OTHER moral of this story is that I should monitor my bank statements better. As JDate Amanda so kindly reminded me, "It's your own responsibility to keep track of your financial activity." Thanks, Mom. Actually, even my mom wasn't that obnoxious when I told her the story. But you can bet I'll be keeping a much closer eye on my meager finances from now on, lest JDate or any other auto-renew criminals try to pull one over on me again.

If only I could put as much passion into trying to find my besheret as I have into being furious with JDate...


  1. JDate isn't a TOTAL suck-fest. Think about it. @PopJudaica met her husband there, I met Tuvia there, he has a cousin who got hitched from there, and MORE! It's entirely possible.

    But, with that said, I went on probably four or five dates while in DC with total weirdos, one asshole, and a creep.

    Sorry they stole your monies :(

  2. Eww that sucks...I've always secretly wanted to go on JDate though haha

  3. Have you tried contacting your credit card company? If you turned off automatic renewal, it makes sense to me that the credit card company would treat the charges as fraudulent and refund your money.


  4. You might like to try some free dating sites too.

    One thing I would say is use your credit card instead of debit card on internet since credit card companies typically have 180 days of dispute time.

  5. Ouch. Wow, I am totally checking my bank statement now.

  6. I met my wife through JDate, as did my older brother, so its not all bad.

    Although, I have to admit, there were a fair share of crappy dates along the way, but that's just part of the experience. I think my wife, and women in general, have a much harder time with it, because by nature, men can be creeps... but not all of them!

    Good luck in getting your money back.

  7. I've heard this same horror story with Match too- they're all the same! At least CL is free, even if your chances of getting raped are approximately 400% higher.

  8. I seriously hate those re-occurring bills. HATE them.

  9. damn that spark networks... they screwed me too for more... a "one month trial" at the time suddenly became 3, putting me in for $100. incidentally it seems to be a common complaint:

    Nothing "mean-spirited" at all here! :)

  10. You should totally report them to Better Business Bureau. Unless you're smarter than me and realize that the BBB is a joke and does nothing.

  11. But. Online dating? Blog fodder for months!

  12. JDate is a rip-off because every girl on there has some serious communication issues. The site is so biased to males. Every article they sponsor is geared to teach men how to be proper and appropriate and never preach females about what it's like from our persepective. Maybe more women should learn some online dating ettiquette before writing off every guy on there as a wierdo or a--hole...maybe you turned them that way after having to deal with you!!!

  13. This is very common amongst dating sites. The hidden fees and the fine line writing will usually cost you. I'm not jewish, but I too have been taken for cash using lame sites, lol. If you make a big enough stink about it and tell them that you're going to tell all your friends on jdate and all of your blogger buddies about it, they'll give you back your money. Try it out, hope it works.


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  14. That was a great, easy to follow and well written tutorial. Much appreciated, many thanks.

  15. you have great point here.
    thanks for your post

  16. Here's my farewell to JDate, in the form of a very short play:


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