- I cannot stand by Danny Gokey as he massacres an '80s classic. I hope somebody will be standing by me when I pass out as a result of adult contemporary overload.
- Kris sounds like he's got a mouthful of rocks under that trash 'stache. And based on this song, whoever she is, all she wants to do is dance to someone else's song.
- "Indulgent" is Simon's new word du season. It's also a favorite of Chef Gordon Ramsay. Quick, maybe the Brits are onto some new vocab trend.
- Dear Ryan Seacrest: There's a reason you're a host & not a judge. Think of yourself as a wax statue - all you have to do is look shiny & well-coiffed! Do not speak unless it's scripted; your critiques are even more unwanted than Paula's, which is really saying something.
- Lil Rounds look like a hooker from the '80s. And are her shoes made of recycled prom tiaras & Paula's old earrings? Ain't no Whitney, sista.
- I want to have light brown babies with Anoop. Hopefully they'll have my eyebrows, though.
- I also want for Anoop to sing this song to me. In my bed.
- Scott's McIntyre's hair has gotten marginally better while his voice has gotten exponentially worse.
- I've just stopped supporting affirmative action. Can we send the blind kid home now, please? It's past time.
- Based on her childhood photograph, Allison Iraheta was a Pocahontas/Rapunzel hybrid in her youth.
- These days, however, if Ronald McDonald were 16 years old & emphysemic, his name would be Allison Iraheta.
- As skeezy as Matt Giraud is, I would totally be his parttime lover based on his snazzy rendition of this Stevie Wonder tune.
- Ouch. Nothing like a little falsetto scat combo to make a girl go back on her word.
- Randy says Matt was "one of the best of the night," which, at this point, isn't saying much.
- I think Adam Lambert is older than his mother. Say whaaaat?
- "I decided that I wanted to dress like a grown up," Adam Lambert says of his childhood fashion sense. Hey, kids! Apparently grown ups dress like Hitler!
- Adam looks looks drastically better without the eyeliner & the creepy blue lighting. Like your average, swanky gay man instead of a Tim Burton character with a Michael Jackson twist.
- Do I even need to watch this show for the next seven weeks? The outcome is clear. Wake me when Adam Lambert is crowned American Idol.
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a blog by Kate Kaput
I promise not to make a habit of this, but I can't resist chronicling all the word vomit that American Idol induces. This week's song theme was "tunes from the year the contestants were born." On your marks, get set....
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Maybe Lil should have sang Private Dancer ;-)
ReplyDeleteMatt Giraud is still my favorite for perhaps obvious and sad reasons. . .
HAHAHA
ReplyDeleteYou need to live tweet this stuff...except for your Anoop love :)
ReplyDeleteHa Ha Ha! I love it! I feel the same way; actually never made it through a season because I think the show is a crock and a waste of time...not kidding!
ReplyDelete