A (Chocolate!) Bacon Explosion of Our Very Own

A few weeks ago, I noticed that my local liquor store was promoting a pretty odd snack next to the cash register. Chocolate-covered bacon? Gotta be a joke. A joke that already-drunk folks purchasing more liquor would fall for.

But a few days later, one of my friends was having a particularly crummy day, & I figured I could pork perk her up by treating her to her favorite artery-clogging meat, bacon. Bacon's made quite the headlines these days, most notably when the New York Times covered the "Bacon Explosion" phenomenon. I wasn't about to weave any meat together to brighten a friend's day, but remembering the liquor store, I figured I could get the job done by pairing said artery-clogging meat with everyone's favorite comfort sweet (except mine), chocolate.

Enter Mo's Bacon Bar:


I purchased this little suckling sucker from Teaism, the local hippy-dippy tea house that serves weird things I won't eat, like bento boxes, & a few things I've tried to eat but failed miserably at, like zhengzhou pearl tea (the equivalent of sucking wet fruit snacks through a straw) & sweet potato salad (which would've been tasty had it not been covered in mysterious brown sauce).

Today, we ate the bacon bar. It was, astonishingly, not as foul as expected/hoped/worried. It tasted precisely like bacon covered in chocolate, but somehow the combination was not nearly as vile as I'd predicted it would be. In fact... we liked it. All of us - well, except for the majority of my coworkers, who weren't able to try it because they don't eat pork. Yep, one of the hazards of working with so many Jews is that you can't get much appreciation for bringing chocolate-covered bacon to the office. Them's the breaks.

But I admit it: I would eat a bacon bar again.

You know, if it weren't likely to cause an instant heart attack.