Halloween Hatefest

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Halloween in Ohio, for me, meant drunken, costumed festivities at both of my alma maters, Ohio University & Kent State -- far & away known as the two best Halloween celebrations in the state. Halloween in Ohio is passing out candy with my mom on Trick or Treat night, wandering the Akron Zoo for the widely enjoyed Boo at the Zoo, visiting every haunted house within a 15-mile radius (& there are, surprisingly, tons), carving extravagant jack-o-lanterns for the front stoop, visiting Lake Farm Park for the occasional corn maze & attending friends' ridiculously memorable costume parties.

Halloween in Washington, D.C. means absolutely nothing. Everyone despises it but, it seems, for yours truly. Everyone here is too serious, too adult, too formal to let loose while dressed as a pair of dice or a gaggle of pirates, as Quailman or the Keebler Elf or a giant pink crayon (all of which I have been, for the record). Everyone here would rather pretend like Halloween doesn't exist. And everyone here would rather ridicule me for loving this holiday (THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER) & for wishing the District wasn't so devastatingly disappointing come every October 31st.

Really, what's not to love? What's not to adore about the one night a year when it's perfectly acceptable - nay, encouraged - to dress up as anything you want? It's like a college sorority party times 1,000 - no theme, no boundaries, no rules, just whatever you feel like being. It's the only night when creativity is both welcomed & warranted.

I have a sweet, witty costume planned for this weekend, should any plans come my way. But more than likely, no plans will. More than likely, I will spend All Hallows' Eve wistfully recalling my days as an Ohio Halloween goddess extraordinnaire, the girl with the cool costumes, & I will drown my sorrows in brown-bottomed candy corn & ghost-shaped marshmallow Peeps. And I will vow, yet again, to go home for the holiday next year. And I mean it this time. I cannot spend another October 31st stuck in the Halloween Hatefest that is Washington, D.C.


  1. There used to be a huge party every year in Georgetown, shut down the streets and everything, but that seems to have gone away. I think the party got out of hand.

  2. My parents believed that Halloween was the holiday of the devil, so I never got to do anything for it. When I went to college, I was so excited to get to dress up - I trick-or-treated for the first few years and now I adore dressing up and going out. So you're not the *only* person in DC who doesn't despise it. :)

  3. random reader: I lived in DC my entire life (but recently transfered to LA) and every halloween no matter what neighborhood I went too there were tons of people dressed up in redic costumes. Wear your crayon outfit and be proud!! who cares if you think that people hate halloween... you love it so drink too much, laugh and HAVE A BLAST! :)

  4. You should go trick or treating at the Embassy's apparently Russia gives vodka and Belgium gives chocolate. Sweet man!


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