Who: An unidentifiable man (woman?)
(Doing) What: Wearing a mascot-style bumblebee suit in 94-degree weather
Where: Standing on the balcony of Longworth House Office Building
When: As I roasted in the overwhelming heat at an ADA Amendments Act press conference this afternoon
Why: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA
Who: An average-looking, middle-aged woman maneuvering a purple minivan
(Doing) What: Practicing loud, shrill opera notes without realizing her windows weren't soundproof
Where: Stopped at a routine red light on Connecticut Avenue
When: As I awaited an 8:37 L4 bus home from Woodley Park last night
Why: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA
Who: A cross-dressed Janet Renoesque man
(Doing) What: Wearing the ruffliest, brightest, blue polyester dress I've seen since 8th grade semiformal
Where: Pacing the sidewalk outside Yanni's Greek Taverna
When: As I enjoyed a happy hour & a chicken souvlaki pita with some Ohio pals during happy hour tonight
Why: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA
Runners Up: Other Noteworthy No-Idea-Whys!
- A 4' man who was not a midget but was, in fact, entirely proportional & tiny
- Seventeen full-length yellow school buses parked outside my apartment
- An elderly Metro rider wearing headphones the size of large apples
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