
The text he was composing was addressed to "Love of My Life," which means he actually has his significant other programmed into his cell that way.
"CAN I JUST SAY THIS?" he wrote her (or him...) all in caps. "U R 2 PERFECT & BEAUTIFUL."
"Yes, you toolbag," I wanted to say to him. "If you're writing her texts like this, she is probably far too beautiful & perfect for you, at least."
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