Wednesday, May 18, 2011

And I'm Like Baby, Baby, Baby, No...

When people tell me, "I have good news & bad news. Which do you want first?" I always ask for the bad to start because I'd rather end on a good note. Like, if the entree sucks, at least dessert is coming. For this post, an in-the-moment recap of my less-than-awesome travel experience from New Orleans to Boston on Monday morning, I have set it up in this bad entree/good dessert style. I am, you see, ever the optimist! (Ha.)

I wrote this post on my iPad while on the plane*, but I'm just now posting it because a post-travel bout of The Plague had me down for the count for the past 48 hours. That counts as a sucky entree. The good is that... um, the plane didn't pull a "Lost," I guess? Though it's definitely cold enough for a polar bear up here in New Hampshire right now. ANYWAY. Onto the business.

***** 

The bad: When I attempt to pay for my airport breakfast of Diet Coke & an almond/flaxseed health bar (where is McDonald's when all you want is an 8am McGriddle?!), I realize my debit card is nowhere to be found.

The good: I am thrilled to learn that the cab driver who dropped me off at the airport has located my debit card in his backseat. I think he never gave it back to me & was possibly attempting to steal it, but it's more possible that I am simply a paranoid, neurotic individual.

*****

The bad: It will cost me another $33 plus tip for the cabbie to return to the airport to drop off my debit card.

The good: The cabbie has time to drive back to the airport to drop off my debit card. Also, I am a paranoid, neurotic individual, which means I arrived at the airport a full two hours before my flight, giving me plenty of time to deal with such shenanigans.

*****
The bad: I have already passed through security but will have to do so again after retrieving my debit card. The security line, which was short upon my first go-through, is now approximately the length of a midnight showing of a new Harry Potter flick.

The good: A kindly TSA agent tells me I can go through the priority line on my way back through so I do not have to wait in the line a second time.

*****

The bad: On my second security go-through, TSA confiscates the fig jam I stupidly & impulsively purchased from the St. James Cheese Company (& had initially managed to smuggle through lax security). As added punishment, they also confiscate a miniature snow globe I'd purchased for my boyfriend as a souvenir. Apparently snow globes of any size are a terrorism hazard. Glitter is a deadly weapon!

The good: What I lose on souvenirs ($23, to be exact - that fig jam was fancy shiz), I make up for in cabbie kindness. Despite his 20-minute drive back to the airport to remedy my mistake, he did not charge me for the trip. He does call me "baby" - twice - but I'm willing to endure minor sexual harassment in exchange for the safe return of my sole source of money retrieval. Is this some form of lesser prostitution?

*****

The bad: When I choose Justin Bieber's "Baby" as my inaugural flight song, the teen superstar's photo pops up FULL-SCREEN SIZED on my new iPad. Because I haven't yet mastered iPad technology, I frantically swipe at a few buttons while the Biebs' swooshy-banged mug grins at the man sitting next to me, making me feel like a pop culture pedophile.

The good: The dude next to me is approximately 65 years old & does not speak English. It is my hope that Beiber Fever has not yet become a trend in his native Guatemala.


*This post is so long that none of you will read it in its entirety. That's OK. I'm conceited enough to post is anyway, sans editing.

Folks I Like

Thanks to Trop50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 Fabulous Wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous!

I don't typically like to name names - even when it's for good reason. I don't often participate in memes, tag friends, etc., etc., in part because I don't think it suits my style, but also because I don't want to make anyone else feel like I don't like them as much. Or something. Clearly I have the sensitivity of a third grader chosen last for kickball. Not that that ever happened to me.

So when asked to write about five of my favorite bloggers, it's a difficult a decision. Who do I like? Who do I love? Whose new posts have me in excited palpitations? Who might you not already know about? Because others often ask me for recommendations of blogs they ought to start reading, here are a few of my faves:

Amy of Just a Titch
Amy is real, funny, emotional & everything a good blogger should be, including winner of the 2010 Bootlegger Best New Blogger Award. Also, she’s just the cutest. She's a high school English teacher in California documenting just about everything: love, friendship, pet peeves, weight loss, general funny & interesting stuff. I am a fan of all of these things & of her. 

Chaviva of Kvetching Editor
Chaviva is a newlywed (their one-year anniversary is at the end of the month!), a Modern Orthodox Jew, a sometimes poet, a former journalist, a current grad student, & a tech junkie writing on all of the above & more. I had the pleasure of meeting her in person this spring, & she was exactly as expected: spunky, intelligent, entertaining, not creepy. I like that in a person. 

Simone of Skinny Dip
It seems that I read a multitude of Californian & Canadian blogs; Simone's is one of the latter. She's a sex & relationship blogger who has sass, snark & supreme writing skills. In other words, color me jealous. Her "When Sex Toys Go Hilariously Wrong" is, well, hilarious (and NSFW, clearly, folks), & she once wore a bra made of cucpcakes. Enough said, methinks.

Tara of Tara Bites Back
Tara is technically a mommy blogger, but I would never, ever call her that. She writes about her kids, divorce & other adventures in motherhood, but she's also hysterical. And verbose. And hysterical. Like the time she wrote about her son's missing testicle. Her blog's tagline is "That which does not kill you deserves to be ridiculed." I could make that a tagline for my whole life, probably. Also, she is not actually a dinosaur - just anonymous.

Hayley of The Hayleylujah Chorus
I feel weird including Hayley here because I pseudo-know her in real life, yet I'm convinced she thinks I'm creepy because once I saw her at the mall & she, like, ran away. But I'm including her anyway because she's addictively funny & going to be mad-famous, & I can be like, "Hey, I remember when that girl was born" because her sister used to be my bestie. So maybe I'm including her because I'll someday feel famous by distant association. But also. She's really funny. See her YouTube channel for proof: 50,002 subscribers can't be wrong.
So. Those are five of many. What blogs do you love? Who should I be reading?

Don't forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.
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