Friday, May 6, 2011

Meeting Mila Kunis. Or Not Really.

My friend Jonah once taught me to wear a blazer to airports for better service. His dad taught him that if you encounter a crisis that requires you to interact with customer service, you're more likely to be treated well while dressed in a blazer - & I've taken their advice to heart.

Though I didn't wear a blazer on my flight from Boston to DC last Saturday, I did wear a dress & tights. Smugly, I looked over at the two women sitting next to me at the flight gate & thought, "Oh, that schlubby girl in Victoria's Secret sweatpants & Keds sure is lucky her friend is classing it up with skinny jeans & a camel blazer," because this is how my brain works, apparently. You know how my brain doesn't work? It's doesn't tell me, "HEY, KATE, THAT SCHLUBBY GIRL IN THE SWEATPANTS IS MILA KUNIS, YOU IDIOT."

That's right. Sitting two seats down from me, dressed like every middle-class teenager in America, was international celeb Mila Kunis, she of such direct-to-video cinematic hits as American Psycho 2 and Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. Oh, also of the Oscar-nominated Black Swan. That, too. She was, I learned, on her way to the White House Correspondents Dinner, held two blocks away from my friend Rachel's apartment, where I stayed while I was in town. Trust me, I tried to stalk down some celebs after the event, but the closest we came was a chat with a Rite-Aid security guard who told us he'd just offended Marlon Wayans by calling him Damon. Or the other way around, I forget. Seen one Wayans & you've seen 'em all, eh?

In case you're wondering, the answer is no, I didn't speak to her, as is my custom when encountering famous folks. She seemed to be doing a pretty good job of going incognito, despite the fact that sunglasses indoors scream, "Look at me, I'm a celebrity in hiding!" & I didn't want to be the awkward pseudo-fan who blew her cover.

Some details, for the curious-slash-jealous amongst you: Her friend/publicist/handler/mother was carrying a garment bag that likely contained the dress she wore to the event (left), where she walked arm in arm down the red carpet with... Wolf Blitzer. Let's just say she cleans up nicely. She looked pretty but totally average at the airport - and she flew coach, too, sitting right in front of me! I thought she might be, like, eating diamonds or something fancy like that, but in reality, she was texting, listening to music, reading a book, sleeping - all of the things I do on a plane. How normal!

The last time I saw someone famous at the airport, it was Dennis Kucinich, whose "fame" is arguable outside Cleveland & DC. Also, I accidentally hit him in the head with my luggage. Memorable, yes, but not in the way I'd like for it to be. Don't worry: I was careful to wait for Mila to take off before I lugged my bag down from the overhead compartment.
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