Monday, August 23, 2010

Some Other Beginning's End: My Big Announcement

Three years ago, I started this blog as an outlet for telling crazy stories about my new home & the many weird observations I made on my long Metro rides to & from the Glenmont stop. Fresh out of college, having just made a surprising switch from journalism to politics, I was embarking upon a huge life adventure in a city where I knew almost no one. It's been three years since then, & so much has changed.

I've tried writing this post more than a few times during the past two weeks. I've tried recapping the people I've met & the things I've learned from them. I've tried putting into words just how huge it was for me, who's perpetually homesick, to leave home & do something drastically, dramatically different than everything I'd prepared myself for. But I can't find the words, & it's disarming. The bottom line, I guess, in the simplest terms possible, is that it was entirely worth it, & that because of it, I'm someone new. I'm the same me, of course, but I'm also a completely new me. And I guess I don't know how to say it any better than that.

I didn't expect to fall in love with the place & the people, who kept me here longer than originally planned. But I never planned to stay here, either. I always knew this was a temporary locale, that I'd return to the Midwest - & probably to Ohio, though I can't expect most people to understand why I love such an economically depressed state. I've been waiting to go back, living a life here that I've always known would end with my heaving a combined sigh of relief & devastation as I pull my moving van over the state line.

And now? Is that time.

So here's the big announcement, which many of you already know: At the beginning of October, I'm moving back to Ohio.

It's a huge announcement, really, & there are a ton of unknowns. I don't have a job lined up, which means there'll be a mad scramble of sorts as soon as my feet hit the soil in the Buckeye State. I don't know what I'll be doing or where I'll be headed, & I'm keeping my options open - starting with Cleveland & Columbus, but with an eye on Dayton & Cincinnati & everywhere in between. I'm hoping to find something that will allow me to write, whether that means a writing-all-the-time-at-the-office gig or a simple 9-to-5 that gives me time to do some freelancing in my personal time. I'm frantically trying to make connections, seek advice, point myself in the right direction, whatever the heck that means.

And yes, the prospect of beginning again is terrifying. it's overwhelming, daunting, awful, every synonym under the sun. I can't fathom starting over, with no idea what comes next - unsure of my next job, my next city, my next set of friends. My next life. There's an impending sense of doom, like maybe everything is about to fall apart or implode, but at the same time, it's mixed with equal parts excitement about the possibilities.

I am 26 years old & totally lost, but I guess I'm not the only one. I don't know what I'm doing, & "scared as hell" doesn't begin to cover it. But here I go anyway. See you soon, Ohio.


*****
This post is part of Jewels of Elul, which celebrates the Jewish tradition to dedicate the 29 days of the month of Elul to growth and discovery in preparation for the coming high holy days. This year the program is benefiting Beit T'shuvah, a residential addiction treatment center in Los Angeles. You can subscribe to receive inspirational reflections from public figures each day of the month. You don’t have to be on the blog tour to write a blog post on “The Art of Beginning... Again”. We invite everyone to post this month (August 11th - September 8th) with Jewels of Elul to grow and learn.

30 comments:

Malnurtured Snay said...

SAD FACE.

Tori Woods said...

Welcome back (in advance!) to the Buckeye state! Don't hesitate to let me know if I can be of any help to you in your job hunt and relocation. tori dot woods at gmail . :)

rachelsmiles said...

well this just means there will be lots of farewell events right? like brunch at open city and many happy hours?
I will miss you dearly. :)

Emily Goodstein said...

tis the season for goodbye DC announcements! congrats on this big news. i can't wait to come visit and go to melt with you.

Matthew Bertuzzi said...

I ran in to John Boehner this weekend. Maybe you should ask his advise ;-)

Caiti said...

I wish you the BEST of luck wherever you end up Kate! I do understand wanting to get back to Ohio... I too am trying to get back.

rachelkatiegold said...

Mazel tov on your news! Sounds like a great decision for you.

- a fellow Buckeye

Carly said...

while it is totally scary, it's also exciting! the unknown! :)

Good Girl Gone Blog said...

Woah, big news. I figured this was going to happen. Wish you were coming to Boston with me, but I'm very happy and excited for you!!!!

Scarlett said...

As a Michigan girl - you know what I think of Ohio, BUT perhaps now it will be a LITTLE more tolerable with you relocated there. A sad day for DC though. All the best, babe.

Mel said...

You're coming home, and I'm moving away (Pittsburgh for me). Best of luck to you! I have two friends (one in Columbus, the other is Cleveland/Tremont area) who are renting a room in their respective townhouses, depending which area you end up. Email me, if interested.

Cheers!

Erin Gooch said...

Huge news, girl! Best of luck as you move back home. Your mom must be so excited!

Kristyna said...

Sheesh, you basically took the words right out of my mouth. Considering I move tomorrow, and I'm equally terrified and excited. No job lined up. A fresh new start. Oy, I'm right there with you. Best of luck. xx

kristynam.blogspot.com

flipflopsintherain said...

YEA!!! I can promise you that you will not regret moving home. I miss D.C. with all my heart, but I belong here, not there, and I know you'll feel the same. Good luck to you!

Alicewonderland0 said...

oh! my! that IS big news!

i was just telling a friend this weekend how DC is such a transient town, which makes it difficult for those of us who choose to stay. i have hardly any of the same friends that i made when i moved here in 2002 - well, that's not true. i still HAVE those friends, but hardly any of them are still local.

i'm glad you're doing what makes you happy! :)

Chaviva E. said...

I'm *so* happy for and proud of you, Kate :) Big things will come your way!

Erinuncensored said...

you can do it! i believe in you and am so proud of you!

wishful nals said...

good for you! very exciting.

spleeness said...

This is wonderful! It sounds like your heart sings when you're back home. I wish you the best of luck too, but I don't think you'll need it. :)

Hermia said...

Ooooo exciting!!!! Good luck with that!

City Girl said...

You might be scared, and the unknowns might seem overwhelming. But, your present plans WILL succeed. Anyone who knows you virtually or in real life knows that. Good luck!

terra said...

I'm so excited for you right now! That is big, big news and totally scary but I feel nothing but excitement for you! Good luck with all that awaits you!

Anonymous said...

Way to take the easy way out. Really, you couldn't just stick it out and find something new in DC? Don't be surprised when there's nothing good to be found in your disgusting home state & you end up just like everyone else there - white trash.

Rachel M. said...

Wow really?? Who the hell are you to judge anything Sweetheart does? Do you know her? NO. Then shut your face. She's amazing, and if she wants to be closer to her family, then that's her own concern. Maybe moving home isn't the easy way out. She never intended to stay in DC -- which she's always said. Someone doesn't want to spend their life in a city, and you automatically condemn them?? How childish are you? The next time you attack someone, grow some balls and at least put your name on it.

rob said...

whoa, dick. time to take it easy. 8 of our presidents came from the great state of ohio. i mean, it's not as cool as illinois, but still... shut up.

on a different note: you will be missed, kate. i know you'll find success and happiness in whatever you do out there.

Skinny Dip said...

Oh wow, that's big news! Change is always a bit scary but, I think you'll be fine - look at everything you've accomplished already. You're practically a pro at starting over :) I'm looking forward to reading about your adventures back in the Buckeye State (and hopefully more fanny pack photos) xox

Andria said...

Wow, good luck! I feel you on the excited-but terrified thing. Change is hard, but can be so rewarding. Can't wait to follow your "new life" in Ohio.

Midwestgrrl said...

Listen you shitty little bedwetter. You leave her alone and deal with your childhood trauma somewhere else.

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

What a decision! It's tough to make but things always work out as they should... best of luck with this move/enjoy your final days in DC :)

Karyn said...

Hi - I just discovered this blog. Your header caught my attention right away - I moved here from Ohio 3 years ago too. (From Akron) And now I see you're moving back. I've thought about it too - I think it will eventually happen, but I know I'll really miss this city. Well good luck with the move and with finding a job and getting settled back in! I'll be reading to see how it turns out.

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