The Merits of Owning a Camera Phone

Welcome to the dollhouse! An off-the-shoulder sweatshirt & a side ponytail in line for the bathroom at the Cosi in Dupont? Heather Matarazzo called: she wants her (lack of) style back.


Metro puke at the Cleveland Park station. I heard two guys next to me talking about how a guy in a business suit barfed three times & then just put his earbuds in & kept walking. "Only in America," they mused, like men don't barf in... whatever part of the world they're from.


Two strangers sitting next to one another in the same unattractive hue. When I was younger, I wanted a career naming colors in the Land's End catalog (true story), but I can't even come up with a suitable name for this eyesore.


This girl looks better pregnant than I do fat. As Heidi Klum's black twin, she's probably going to pop that kid out & still weigh less than my right thigh.