Friday, May 27, 2011

Hunkered Down in the Buckeye State

"Hunkered down" is such a funny term because you never hear the word "hunkered" without the word "down" to accompany it. It's almost like they have to go together for "hunker" to exist at all, like the way you never hear anyone say the word "crannies" unless they says "nooks and" before it.

Anyway. The weather sucks in the Midwest right now. Maybe you've heard?

I arrived home in Ohio on Tuesday evening & spent Wednesday night hunkered down indeed, hiding out in my mom's unfinished basement with one very scared dog. Here's a highlight reel. I:
  • Realized that the faint wailing in the background of my DVRed episode of the "Glee" finale didn't quite match the music & was actually the city's tornado siren

  • Carried my mom's 35ish-lb., elderly dog to the basement because she refuses to make the descent on her own

  • Made myself as comfortable as possible in a cold, wet corner better suited to shackling someone to the wall or harboring a secret slave. Not that my mom does those things. I'm just saying.

    PHOTO REDACTED AT MY MOTHER'S INSISTENCE. CENSORSHIPPPP!

  • Created a cozy little corner for aforementioned scared dog, who shook like a leaf (what a weird expression - lots of things shake more than leaves) during our entire time together hiding out from would-be twisters. Please note: "Cozy" is an exaggeration.


  • Videotaped potential last words, which I will not post for you here, because retrospectively, they are terribly embarrassing now that I'm still alive

  • Tweeted profusely with @jensteer & @betternovembers, who let me know that funnel clouds had been spotted over my hometown, though nothing had touched down

  • Killed three spiders with a yardstick

  • Cried twice out of fear of both spiders & storms

  • Created this Fourquare event to make myself feel better. My first Event Space, woooo! I'M ALMOST THE MAYOR OF TORNADOVILLE.


  • Uncovered this hysterical photo of my father circa God-knows-when:


  • Found this not-quite-as-embarrassing photo of me dressed as a spider ballerina, sporting some really heavy side-bangs for a ballet recital. Don't worry, the rest of my hair existed; it was just in a bun:


  • Received blessed word that though a thunderstorm warning was still in effect, I probably didn't need to spend the rest of the evening cohabiting with spiders

  • Carried my dog up the stairs at the end of the ordeal only to discover that she had peed herself in fear. Can't say I blame her.
I shouldn't complain. We're safe, & as far as I've heard, the storm didn't cause any injuries, though it did a hell of a lot of property damage - roofs ripped off & caved in, trees downed across major streets, general chaos.

The moral of my personal experience: Tornado warnings are the best case I can think of for having a finished basement. But I guess it was worth it for that photo of my dad.

    10 comments:

    suki said...

    None of the houses out here have basements because we don't usually get tornados, but apparently there was one in Northern California earlier in the week. :/ Weird weather = world ending.

    I wonder where my parents hide their embarrassing photos. Hehehe.

    PS - glad to hear you're safe!

    kim said...

    ugh, sounds like a crappy evening. i'm glad you're okay and it was only the dog who wet herself. sorry, but that photo of you is a lot more hysterical than the one of your dad (isn't that how all dads looked like circa god-knows-when?).

    also, i just gave you an award on my blog. you're welcome.

    graceelena said...

    You were safe and now you have a good story! Let's just hope it never happens again!

    Becky said...

    Okay first off, definitely glad you're safe! Sounds like quite the evening!

    theTsaritsa said...

    Im glad to hear you're okay-- that's such a frightening experience, but it's awesome that you found those old photos!

    AW said...

    Love the redesign. Glad everyone's safe in Ohio.

    Lizzie said...

    Thank goodness you're alright!

    San said...

    I am not happy that you had to spend time in the basement, but I am glad you found those photos.... so funny :)

    Good Girl Gone Blog said...

    Wow, I love the sleeves (??) on that outfit. Glad to hear you're ok and that you had a dog to hang out with. They always make things better..

    Erica said...

    I laughed so hard at this post! So glad you're safe!

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