Thursday, March 31, 2016

HELP, I AM HAVING A VERY SERIOUS EYELINER EMERGENCY


Don't be fooled by the happy-looking photo above, which is only to show you how thrilled I am by perfectly winged eyeliner, which is totally relevant to this post, I promise. I am issuing a personal state of emergency: My favorite liquid liner has been discontinued.  

Don't laugh at me. This is very serious!

I've been using the same brand & type of liquid eyeliner for nearly a decade, no joke. I use it almost every day (or at least I did in the days before I became comfortable with my eyelinerless face). I never use any other kind. I don't even know about any other kinds. I use Urban Decay's 24/7 Waterproof Liquid Liner in Perversion, period, & no other brands exist for me.

Until now, when they apparently have to, because Urban Decay is doing me dirty by getting rid of the world's best eyeliner. My friend Sammi emailed them about it, & they responded to confirm the discontinuation & to suggest a replacement product. Alas, that product - their 24/7 Glide-On Pencil - is, in my experience, absolutely terrible & a not-at-all appropriate substitute for their now-discontinued holy grail.

In case it wasn't clear, I'm having a difficult time with this.

Upon recommendations from other eyeliner-laden ladies, I bought the Kat Von D Tattoo Liner, which is described as a liquid liner. Let me tell you: That is a total lie on multiple counts. It's just, like, a wet pen, not an actual liquid liner, & it's basically impossible for me to create my standard winged liner look with it as it tugs at my eyelids & refuses to go on smoothly.

Furthermore, you'd think that a liner with "tattoo" in the name would stick to my face with some level of permanence, but no: This stuff smudges & runs & makes me look like a gothic hooker basically every day. It creases at my eyelid, it smudges down my face, & today, when I was in the rain for, like, 30 seconds, it did THIS:


Do I look sad in these photos? I am, because this happened by 10:30am, despite my wearing a hardy primer underneath the liner. Did I mention that this product costs $20? Not acceptable. In other words, the Kat Von D Tattoo Liner is not dark enough, it's not wet enough, it's not permanent enough... It's just not good enough, goddamnit.

But I am desperate. I need your help. I can't go around looking like a sad watercolor painting all day damn. Ladies of the Internet, assemble! What liquid liner should I be trying as I mourn the loss of my longtime favorite?
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