But then I did it. I realized registration had opened & that there weren't a ton of spots left, & I emailed Doniree in a frantic state to see how much time I had to get the money together, & I registered without even hearing back from her because I didn't want to miss out. That massive run-on sentence should give you a feel for the way my brain was working at the time. But suddenly, I was signed up for BiSC, & Simone was going to be my roommate & it was happening.
Going to BiSC was scary. Why? Well, because writing is pretty easy for me, & when I write, it's pretty easy for me to appear less horribly anxious than I am in real life. When I can pick & choose which pieces of me you see, like I do on the blog, my anxiety usually seems like a self-imposed, Lena Dunham-esque quirk & less like a debilitating, panic-inducing medical condition. It's not always the latter - in fact, sometimes it really is the former! - but when the bad parts take hold, man, it can be really bad.
Don't get me wrong: It was so much fun. Bloggers freaking love each other, & we have a million nice things to say to each other upon real-life meetings. I spent much of the weekend hearing how great my hair is, how porcelain my skin is, how Jennifer Lawrence-like my voice is - BiSC is good for the ego, y'all. I also:
- Spent great quality time with my roommate, Simone, who I've wanted to meet for approximately three years (which is as long as she's been blogging), eating Canadian maple cookies & talking about life in our hotel room at the Flamingo.
- Went to a bar made entirely out of ice, where off-brand UGGs are both required & provided (crappy watermarked photo seen here).
- Got an insanely good swag bag that included business cards from Moo, wine glasses from Stack Wines, food goodies from KIND Snacks, sunglasses from Firmoo, & other great things from other great companies.
- Flashed my badge & jumped the line at the swanky PURE Nightclub for a rooftop party where all 68 of us were dressed in white - & because it's Vegas, someone told me on the way there, "Have fun at your wedding, ma'am!"
- Ate at In 'N' Out, wore a wig to brunch, & feasted on a plateful of nachos at Margaritavilla like total tourists
- Even felt comfortable day-drinking in a bathing suit in public!
On the last day of the event, event organizer extraordinaire Nicole stood in front of the group at brunch & talked about All The Feelings, which is a BiSC theme - everyone has a lot of feelings, & everyone tells you about them. She was followed by Doni, then Jamie, then a couple dozen other folks, both BiSC veterans & newbies, who told the whole group, through laughter & tears, what a difference this event has made in their lives. And I sat there on the fringe, silently nursing a wicked hangover, I felt myself going through an extreme series of emotions. I spent 90% of the speeches thinking, "Crap. I don't have any of These Feelings. I knew I did it wrong!" & doing some serious moping. As the last few people got up to talk, though, the moping was slowly overtaken by something more along the lines of, "Are you kidding me? I have These Feelings Plus."
Photos from, in order, Karlyn, Doniree, Minus5 Ice Bar, Caryn, Caryn, &... Caryn again.