Thursday, January 12, 2012

Chai and Chauvinism

It's 33 degrees out, but my Weather.com app tells me it "feels like 25." I'm not wearing gloves because this is my favorite kind of weather, & chapped hands are a necessary evil if I want to enjoy the cool winter air. I'm holding a medium soy chai latte with one shot of espresso, & I'm feeling unnecessarily victorious over corporate capitalism because it's purchased from someplace other than Starbucks. My car is a block & a half away, & I have a phone call to be on within the next few minutes, so my step is brisk, my focus sharp.

I feel the sizzle on my hand before I even noticed it's happened, a quarter-sized drop of my warm beverage running down the webbed part between my thumb & forefinger. I stop, visibly annoyed, licking it off while trying to balance my drink, my lunch, & my massive Longchamp bag that hasn't been cleaned out in, um, awhile.

When I look up, someone is laughing at me, a 30-something man leaning against his car in the post office parking lot watching me struggle. "Good catch!" he shouts jovially.

"Could've been worse," I say with relief, laughing at myself & enjoying a quick moment of bonding with a stranger.

"Could've been worse!" he confirms. "You could've spilled it all over yourself! On those great boobs!"

Sighhhhh.

I like to think he said "boots," as my brown leather Bakers boots are pretty great. I'm going to tell myself that's what he said, because the idea that my only outside interaction all day would be so disappointingly vulgar is, well, disappointing. Did my ears deceive me? It's possible. Unfortunately, it's also possible that they heard him perfectly.

I repeat: Sighhhhh.

1 comments:

Elena said...

My grossiest, similar momemnt was this: I work as a waitress and during one lunch shift this man was berating his teenage daughter about her weight. Even though he wasn't exactly fit and in shape. Nor was his wife who was also participating in the bashing of their daughter's size.

I come over to serve them their drinks and he says to me "I bet you look really good in a mini-skirt. My daughter never would."

I have never wanted to tamper more with someone's food than in that moment, but I never did.

But whenever they come in I give them the worst service possible.

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