Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Actual Ridiculous Questions That I Have Actually Been Asked

Look, I know everyone's really tired of the "Shit ___ Say" videos. I love Katiey's post, "Shit Everyone Says: When A Meme Goes Into Overdrive," which talks about how she, as a single white woman, has said at least three things from, like, every one of these video she's watched - including Shit Guys Say, Shit Asian Girls Say, Shit Baby Mamas Say. Today, I submitted a post of my own to Jewesses With Attitude about how sadly unfunny I find Shit Jewish Girls Say to be. (Has that guy ever met a Jewish woman?)

And then I found Shit Christians Say to Jews, & I fell in love with this meme all over again.

I grew up in a city in Northeast Ohio woefully lacking in diversity. To my knowledge, my mother & I together made up 50% of the Jewish population! With this video as my inspiration, I thought I'd share with you a few things people have actually said to me regarding my Judaism - some of these more than once.
  • "What do you think about the situation in the Middle East?"
  • "Do you only sleep with circumcised guys?"
  • "You don't look Jewish." 
  • "Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?"
  • "I used to think all Jewish people had horns."
  • "Have you ever seen Schindler's List?"
  • "So do you hate Arabs?"
  • "Do you guys have your own version of the 10 Commandments?"
  • "Jesus was Jewish! So I know he loves you, too."
  • "Wait, but your hair is blond."
  • "I used to work with a Jewish guy! Maybe you know him. David Cohen?"
  • "What is a synagogue?" 
  • "Do you to want to eventually move to Israel?"
  • "I just feel so bad. I don't want you to go to hell."
  • "I love Jews! They're the Chosen People."
  • "So, like, what do Jews have against Jesus?"
  • "You don't have a Jewish last name."
  • "Oh my God, you can't eat bacon, right?!"
  • "Well, your dad wasn't Jewish so you're not, like, a real Jew."
  • "Are you, like, a Jew for Jesus, or the kind of Jew that doesn't believe in him?"
  • "You totally don't have Jewish hair!"
  • "Do you ever miss Christmas?"
  • "My mom said I can't be friends with you because you're going to go to hell."
  • "Are you half-Jewish or full-Jewish?"
  • "I'm a completed Jew. Do you know what that means? It means I've accepted Jesus as my savior."
  • "You're lucky. Seth Rogen is so cute!"
  • "What's the deal with those guys with the curls & the hats?"

For the record, every time someone has told me, "Hey, you don't look Jewish!" I've longed to reply with, "Hey, you don't look ignorant!"


Kate Sparkles said...

Ha that video was hilarious! I think my favourite part was 'is Jewish even a race' because I've been asked that by multiple friends to.. ( I'm not Jewish but was asked that when I announced I'd be working at a Jewish summer camp). And my fav from your list is asking if you know David Cohen.. Because everytime I'm abroad people are all 'oh I know a guy from Australia, do you know John Smith, his from Sydney' yeah there's over 20 million of us down here, I probably dont know a guy in a city that's nowhere near where I live.

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