I can admit it: I was wrong.
At the risk of offending Lexa & Erin & any other pals who are products of Beantown, I'd like to list the top three phrases I've so far discovered sound truly comical when spoken with a Bostonian accent. Drumroll pleeeeease:
- The first shocker came when I asked an unassuming WalMart employee where I could find Chapstick. "It's ovah neah the phahmacy," she told me. I literally just stared at her, mouth agape, for about 10 seconds before I regained my composure, thanked her, & headed off toward the Chapstick aisle. After tweeting & Facebooking my surprise.
- The iPhone case I purchased at Target came with a $5 rebate in the form of a Target card. So naturally, the cashier handed it to me & informed me, "This is a $5 rebate in the foahm of a Tahget cahd."
- A nearby furniture store, Bernie & Phyl's, runs commercials featuring its two very excited owners speaking in loud voices about, you got, it their "furnitchah stoah." As a bonus, they also use the phrase "depahtment stoah."
Seriously, everyone here is a caricature of Cliff Clavin.
I can hear you asking me me why the novelty hasn't worn off yet. "They're going to keep speaking like this!" you're saying. "Get used to it!"
And to that? I say: Nevah.