Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Just Another Day at the Office

The following is a real conversation, as word-for-word as I could transcribe it while it happened, that occurred at my downtown Starbucks. Please imagine, if you will, that the star of this conversation is a 60-something (Jewish?) woman with a high-pitched, nasally voice & an accent that's a cross between Boston & the Bronx, resulting in what can only be described as "Fran Drescher Does 'The Departed,'" with a bit of "Coffee Talk" thrown in for good measure. Tawk amongst y'selves.

*****

Woman: "Y'know that guyyy? Buble, somethin'? His name is Buble? I don't know his first name. I think it's Rahhhbit. You know who I'm talkin' about?"

Barista: "No, sorry, no idea."

Woman: "You know, he's got that song, the one about the girl he hasn't met? I think he's singin' it on a bus, maybe, to this girl he doesn't even know. And it's amazing, he's a real singer, he'll met your heart."

Barista: "Well, he's a dude, so I don't... I don't know if dudes can melt my heart."

Woman: "This guy! This guy could. But you know who I mean? The Buble guy? Is his name Rahhhhbit?"

Me: "His name is Michael."

Woman: "MICHAEL! MICHAEL BUBLE! That's him, yeah! And he's singing about this girl, but he never metta. He sounds a little bit like Sinahhtra. This guy's somethin' else, man, Jesus.I have to go to Canada, that's where he's from. He's probably got a million girlfriends. I wish I could meet a guy like that."

*****

Note: If you're not familiar with this song, here's a video of my mom singing it.

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