Monday, December 6, 2010

I Am the Pigeon Lady.

It snows here. A lot. I'd almost forgotten, what with D.C.'s practically-snow-free-save-last-winter's-freak-snowstorm weather.

I avoid shoveling snow whenever possible (sorry, Mom), so I try to find tricky workarounds whenever possible. Today, for example, I used a broom on our back deck. And though I've got no place to be, I braved the cold & precipitation to brush off my car so that I'd have less to do later, when I actually do need to get someplace in a hurry. I know, I'm like the MacGyver of winter.

I scared my dog, too, because I dressed like a cross between a chimney sweep & the little kid from "A Christmas Story" who can't put his arms down. Though fashion bloggers may claim it's possible to look trendy in the dead of winter, I strongly suspect those fashion bloggers don't live in the Great Lakes region. My ensemble was as follows:
  • A red woolen scarf. This was the most normal of my attire.

  • Brown tweed & leather gloves. Also normal, though they clashed with the red. Heinously.

  • Leggings. Not the normal cotton or tights kind but some weird, elastic, work-outy kind I bought for $5 from a store off the Rhode Island Ave. Metro that closely resembled a Deb or a Dots. High-end, I know. I typically only wear them to bed.

  • A maroon peacoat my boyfriend says makes me look resemble the pigeon lady from "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York." I'm not going to show you a picture of me wearing it because I'm aaaactually self-conscious about this. To my knowledge, the actual pigeon lady is not:

  • RED GALOSHES. They matched the scarf, but... dude, they're red galoshes. In the winter. In case you're one of those West Coasters who thinks 50 degrees is cold, you should know that galoshes do not winter snowboots make. And of course, they look fairly absurd.

  • And the crowning glory: a furry, black & yellow houndstooth hat purchased in a Steelers store during my impromptu weekend visit to Pittsburgh. DON'T KILL ME, Browns fans! I'm one of you! I just couldn't resist. Ain't she a beaut?
Put all these together & you've got a blind Russian hobo with a knack for snow trickery. The MacGyver of winter.

Try not to be too jealous of my dashing combination of smarts & style.
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