Monday, October 4, 2010

Pantless in Ohio, or "How I Learned to Respect Lady Gaga & Worship the GAP"

"I'll be home in 15 minutes," my mom tells me, & then we'll go look at a car she's been eying for me. (For now, I'm entirely dependent on her transportation schedule & my own two feet.) When she gets home, I'm not ready. "We have a problem," I announce somewhat frantically. "I can't find any pants."

Unpacking is a boon, sure, because you don't always pack the way you want to unpack, making things difficult to locate. But still, I labeled my boxes pretty clearly. I should be able to find a pair of trousers, right?

Wrong.

We're short a suitcase. WE'RE SHORT A SUITCASE. Commence freaking out. "Where could it be?" I shout repeatedly, because I'm quite sensible & helpful in situations like these. Though, to be fair, I've never been in a lost-all-my-pants situation before.

"Could you have left it on the loading dock? Or in the yard?" my mom asks of The Missing Suitcase. No & no. NO. Right? "I can't leave the house!" I scream repeatedly. Again with the sensible & helpful.

In a moment of sanity, I pick up the phone & dial my now-former roommate, Jason. "Do you have my suitcase?" I inquire, somewhat impatiently. [Sorry, Jason: I want to know how your own move went, I swear I do, but pantless me had no time to waist waste.]

He's quite sure he doesn't have The Missing Suitcase. But oh, wait! "Gavi, is this your suitcase?" I hear him ask, followed by an unzipping sound. "We have your suitcase." Cue cheering! HUZZAH! They promise to mail me said suitcase on Monday, bless their hearts.

But... I'm still not wearing any pants. And FedEx ground takes a couple days, at best, which means I'm either wearing flannel in public or I'm housebound for a few days. It's too cold for dresses when my tights are all lost in the packing abyss, & I refuse to wear my mother's pants. Mostly because she's 4'11" & I'm 5'5", which feels like a logical, not-too-vain reason.

And then I find an old pair of GAP ankle pants with a giant hole in the crotch. They used to be my favorite until, you know, they developed a giant hole in the crotch. Giving them an old needle-&-thread go, I diligently patch up the crotchal region & slip them on victoriously. "We can leave the house now," I announce, prepared to wear them for the next week.

And then I remember that I've long had a coupon to the GAP for a free - free! FREE! - pair of jeans. "Where'd you get this coupon?" the GAP employee asks enviously as I cash it in for my gratis pair of skinnies. I tell her I attended a brand party more than a year ago. I was skeptical at the time, but it turns out that that coupon, almost literally, saved my butt. "Holding onto it for something special?" the employee asks.

Special indeed.

19 comments:

Dmbosstone said...

Aw funny how a lot of blog experiences come together. Good thing you got denim to keep you respectable.

spleeness said...

haha! Love how you said the coupon "saved butt." That was awesome. Also laughed about your "helpfulness" in these situations... that's totally me too.

Delilah Darling said...

Haha at least you found where the pants were hiding ;) I am envious of that coupon too!

Vicki said...

Gap to the rescue! What did you wear on your moving day? Usually if I'm between places I'll have a pair of pants that I've been wearing for X days strewn about somewhere.

Carly said...

haha, that's awesome.

San said...

Oh my, you'd think that you have at least one pair of pants on hand when you need them. Thank God for the Gap coupon. That came in handy (and thankfully, you hadn't used it beforehand, or your new Gap jeans would be in the Missing Suitcase as well ;)).

Kelly said...

Kudos on not wearing flannel in public. HUGE pet peeve of mine.

gem said...

I would have used it as an excuse for mother to buy me a brand new pair of pants, lol. This is also why I don't pack all of anything in the same suitcase or box. (Slash I am unorganized and pack in an insane, haphazard manner?)

Good Girl Gone Blog said...

That's amazing. Love it. Good luck with finding your suitcase- that really really sucks!

Allison said...

I love the jean leggings from them.

however, going pantless would've been hilarious.

Stephany said...

I'm the exact same way when it comes to being helpful in situations like these. I'm definitely a screamer. (TWSS?)

At least you had the coupon! Woo!

Krystal/Village said...

this is hilarious :)

Barbara said...

hahahaha that's awesome :)

graceelena said...

haha! Very funny story. I'm glad you were able to find pants.

Nora_L said...

I'm sorry you found yourself without pants HOWEVER this story is kind of funny. And I'm glad you had the coupon and were able to use it =) Free pants for the win indeed.

christinaanne said...

Laughing so hard I'm almost crying. Glad to know you are up to your old shenanigans- I see Ohio has welcomed you properly!

Lea Ann said...

Now THAT's a coupon story that a good coupon mommy like me can appreciate. And I would so totally never wear my mother's pants either. ewwww. Oops, just gave away my age with that "totally" remark, huh.

terra said...

Oh my goodness the things that get lost in a move - so scary! I cannot even imagine thinking I'd totally lost ALL of my pants. Thank goodness for the coupin'!

Becky said...

Hahaha omg LOVE this! It sounds like something that would happen to me! And score for a free coupon at Gap!

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