Monday, November 30, 2009

You Just Haven't Met Us Yet

Watch this quick, before my mom makes me take it down! CENSORSHIP IS IMMINENT!

video

And yes, it seems I only take videos while in the car. At least in this one, we're parked. At a Borders. And we won't get out of the car until the song ends.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Buckeye State is Best

I'm too busy to blog these days because my life is currently jam-packed with loving on the state of Ohio.

As of last night, it looks a lot like this:

"New Moon" ain't got nothin' on me. Dear Ohio: I love you.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Is That a Banana in Your Pocket or Are You Just Playing a Practical Joke?

Ohhh, college. If you don't think this video is funny, it can only be because you're not watching it.



It's from three years ago, in our old college newsroom. Because I had not yet ascended to the ranks of the cool (read: editors), I don't appear in this video (it's a budget meeting - woo!), though one of my best friends, another lowly reporter, does - she's the girl at the end in the striped sweater putting the banana on his shoulder. She brings on the best part of Ben's banana-crazed reaction, anyway.

And yes, he means it - the kid hates bananas. Lots.

Sure, the song is annoying & the videography is blurry, but darn, it's fun - so fun, in fact, that back in the day, a local alt paper wrote about it. I've been a wee bit cranky for the past few days, & I got a little emo last night reading through a bunch of my old Xanga & Myspace posts (don't judge, everyone's gotta start someplace) - but amongst my old posts, I found this amazing piece of Daily Kent Stater history, & I couldn't resist reviving it to share with anyone who's interested in a little bizarro fruit comedy. It made my day & induced the elusive actual LOL.

Also, this just in: Would you judge me if I admitted that I miss college? A lot?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Free Crap to a Good Home

Back when I was living in my beloved Cleveland Park (oh, how I miss it), I joined the Cleveland Park Listserv, which bills itself as the largest neighborhood listserv in the country. I don't know who's out there measuring the size of neighborhood listservs, but this feels like a mildly impressive statement, right? When I moved, I stayed on the list to stay in the loop because I'm nosy like that.

I get way too many emails per day. Seriously, sometimes I get 50 emails a day about absolutely nothing - neighbors in search of chiropractors & leaf blowers & babysitters, neighbors giving away furniture & coupons & packing supplies. But every once in awhile, I get a true gem, one that makes me day & makes being on this crazy, overly chatty listserv incredibly worth it.

Yesterday, I got this:

Hi Neighbors,

I am moving and have the following items up for grabs if anyone is interested.

various shot glasses (25 or so)
Asian style hat
Various Photo Frames
Peacock Feathers
Pageant Trophy
"Birthday Wishes" ceramic Jar (like a piggy bank)
Decorative Philippino Wallhang
Lobster Table cloth weights
Hanging japanese lanterns
Small Japanese Fans
Jar of Ink cartridges for fountainpen

If you're able to take all of these things, all the better!

So who wants to get in on this with me? We can make headbands with those feathers, & we can drink a LOT of liquor out of those 25 shot glasses while wearing that Asian-style hat, & then we can, um, laugh really hard at anyone actually owning lobster tablecloth weights. Sounds like a party! I'll decorate my apartment with those Japanese lanterns to celebrate!

Friday, November 13, 2009

I Hoped for Better in November

I'm just too tired to post. I spent five days in Toronto, & then I spent at least 28 hours asleep (over the course of 48) recovering. I'm emotionally exhausted & absolutely lacking in the creative energy needed to write or be the slightest bit amusing or interesting.

But it's autumn, & autumn is Dave season. You remember my talking about him, right? So I have a guest post, if you will, one from his Xanga site from October 23, 2004 - five years ago, a month & change before he turned 20. It hurts to read now, but the words fit well. It's a pretty overdramatic statement - that was his thing - but hey, I'm too underdramatic right now to write anything. And it does say he wants to be quoted... so I'm happy to oblige.

"I just want something beautiful to happen here right now" -- The Gloria Record

I should probably preface this by saying that I'm not in a sober mindset right now. Anything that I might and will say should not be taken too seriously.
It just seems so dishonest and wrong that things are this way. I feel like I have so much love to give, this river of affection pouring from my chest that has nowhere to go. There has to be somewhere to put this endless sea of affection. Some girl to direct it towards, who would never starve for attention. I have all this love to give, but it always ends up swirling down the drain because there is no place to put it.
Isn't there a girl out there who wants to be admired, pampered, fawned over, respected, and showered with affection in a way that would make gods jealous? Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way feeling sorry for myself, but I just feel like I've got all this love to give and no one to give it to. I could love and I could give more than anyone you've ever seen, but what's the point if it just goes out in waves into the vacant airspace and never finds its destination. Goddamnit, I want to give of myself in ways I've never seen anyone even attempt. My heart is wide open and pleading for company, wanting only to give everything that I have never recieved.
Everything in my life that has been worth figuring out is another chance to share something no one seems to care to know. There is so much beauty out there that I want someone else to see with me, I just want to share everything that makes me happy to wake each day. Being this happy and keeping it to myself just seems selfish. I want to share it. I want to pass it on. I want to show someone all these things that took so long to figure out, that tore at my soul in a way I couldn't ignore. I want to be happy in a context that isn't singular and encompasses everything and everyone who deserves to realize that what they want so bad has been there all along. That sacrifice and pain and trial and failure are not the keys to success. That success is how far you've come, not where you are. I want to say something significant. I want to be quoted. I want everyone to feel the satisfaction and contentment that they long for so completely.
I want ....

Monday, November 2, 2009

Our Graveyard Smash!

Thanks to all of you for bearing with my pre-Halloween bitchery. The result? Last Saturday marked the most minimal-effort Halloween costume I've ever donned. We tried to be witty, sort of. Really, we did - just a little last-minute. Can you guess what we are?


We're "ships passing in the night," obviously, our favorite cliche! Wait... What do you mean, you couldn't tell?! Come on, that's good. And no, of course I didn't find little gold stars stuck to every surface of my apartment for the rest of the night. And no, three didn't fall out of my hair in the shower this morning. And no, I didn't rip the seat of my favorite black pants while getting low to Flo-Rida.

The good news (?) is that I never left my apartment. When our party plans were canceled, my roommates & I opted to throw our own impromptu All Hallows Eve soiree. We bought a bunch of orange food in honor of Halloween (mac & cheese, Doritos, Cheetos, Reese's), burned a quick holiday mix (though "Jeepers Creepers" is actually an oddly cheerful ditty), & grabbed a couple of cases of cold ones.

Sadly, our collective costumes were not all that creative or mind-blowing. My roommate Jason, for example, pinned socks to his shirt forming "RE." He was either "Sacre bleu!" or Socrates, depending on how you looked at it. Get it? GET IT? Yeah, neither did anyone, but he was proud. And joyful, as evidenced below - good enough for me!


My out-of-towner friend Micaela & her college buds were singing holiday cards. The truth is that I've never seen a Fourth of July card, much less a singing one, but it was still a clever costuming choice. When opened, Micaela sang "America the Beautiful" (usually) & Kristin mostly sang "Jingle Bells" (first line only, sometimes interspersed with N*Sync's Christmas album). Caitlin miraculously got away with never being opened, so she got out of singing.


Other friends came as world peace, "Party in the USA," a Stepford wife, Dexter (khakis & a waffle shirt are not a costume!), scarlet fever & the four elements. Much dancing occurred. And while the event was intended to be a pre-gaming shindig before everyone went their separate partying ways... well, no one did. About 15 of us pseudo-partied at our place until quarter past midnight, & then... I went to bed.

In short? We were low on creativity but, ultimately, high on fun. And, in the end, I concede that that's what does, in fact, matter most.

PS: If you want to see something crazy-impressive, check out my good friend Jill as the zombie cheerleader with the Thrilla Guerillas taking the French Quarter by storm. How's THAT for Halloween spirit? Thanks for letting me live vicariously, Jill!




Sunday, November 1, 2009

Now We're Cookin'!

Remember when I lived in an apartment with no kitchen? For a year & a half?

Unsurprisingly, I have absolutely no idea how to cook. A few kind friends have offered to assist me, but I've yet to take any of them up on it. Sometimes I call my mom with frantic questions, like "What does sauté mean?" & other times, I just tweet my questions into the oblivion & hope for help:

Today, with some help from the Twitterverse, I made soup. I know - easy, right? For you. Not for me, OK? Cooking feels totally foreign to me. I get bored. I get impatient. I can't figure out the timing. But I made this soup tonight after cleaning my apartment (I'm so domestic, y'all!), & I even messed with the recipe a little bit, changing things to my liking. There are only six steps, so I didn't have time to get all that impatient or bored.

End result? MY SOUP WAS AMAZING. I'm so happy. Life is good. And, of course, so is bacon.


Creamy Corn (& Bacon!) Soup

  • 1/2 onion, chopped
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 4 pieces of bacon
  • 1 tablespoon margarine
  • 3 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 2 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 cup chicken broth
  • 1 (15 oz) can whole kernel corn
  • 1 (8 oz) can creamed corn
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons cream cheese
  • 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • ground cayenne pepper to taste
  • garlic powder to taste
  • salt to taste

Directions

  1. In a large pot over medium heat, combine the onion, garlic, & butter or margarine. Saute for about 5 minutes, or until onions are tender.
  2. Add the flour, stirring well, to make a pasty mixture.
  3. Whisk in the milk & the broth.
  4. Add the corn & cream cheese & allow to heat through.
  5. Cook bacon & cut into small pieces; add to soup.
  6. Add salt, garlic powder, black pepper & cayenne pepper to taste. Stir together & serve with oyster crackers or bread.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...